Good news, assholes. Beats By Dre has unveiled the Executive edition of their crappy headphones. They’ll probably be just like the ones you’ve seen around the necks of people who aren’t actively listening to music, only now they’ll match your favorite pair of cuff links. Now I don’t want to go off on a This Week In F–k You here, but f–k you people. Especially you, Ryan Reynolds. You’re not a big enough movie star to get away with that look, even if the text ads recognize your name.
While the Executives don’t have a set price yet, I’m quite sure that whatever it is will far exceed their actual value. I beg of you, please do not buy these. And if you do, don’t wear them like a god damn necklace. Let’s pick some football games.
Last week: 6-6-1
Green Bay -7 at Detroit
The Lions playing a superior team on Thanksgiving with Kevin Smith as their featured back? We’ve all seen this movie before. It’s the primary cause of mid-afternoon dining on the east coast.
Miami at Dallas -7
Miami’s recent winning streak serves no purpose other than to raise our expectations for Thanksgiving. Are we really expected to pin our hopes for a competitive game on the continued success of Matt Moore and Reggie Bush? Dear God, just put this one on at 8:20 when the old people are sleeping off their meal, and the young people are out drinking with friends from high school.
San Francisco +4 at Baltimore
Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh. All in the game, yo.
Continue after the jump for the remainder of this week’s picks.
Cleveland at Cincinnati -7
Minnesota +9.5 at Atlanta
Carolina -3.5 at Indianapolis
Tampa Bay +3 at Tennessee
Houston -3.5 at Jacksonville
Buffalo at New York Jets -8
Chicago at Oakland -4.5
Washington at Seattle -4
Denver +7 at San Diego
Pittsburgh -11 at Kansas City
New York Giants at New Orleans -7
Now let’s go eat some fucking cherpumple piecake.
Note: Lines are not up for NE/Phi or Ari/StL.
I want more like this!
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