Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.
"“WHY DO THE GOOD ALWAYS DIE SO YOUNG?!!!”"
Being dead has never stopped Al Davis before, so I can’t see how this will change his management style.
How’d you get a picture of the corpse so soon?
Beelzebub breathes a sigh of relief as he realizes he’ll finally be able to take that vacation he’s needed for so long.
Just Dead, Baby
Look, I’m not going to say I ever liked or respected Al Davis, but…
…well, that’s about it.
Am I the only one that can smell formaldehyde when looking at that picture?
Jon Gruden has issued a statement: “THIS CORPSE. THIS CORPSE WAS A WINNER.”
Commitment to Zombie-lence.
Simon Belmont finished the job.
Was some Apple device keeping Al alive?
I just saw him on TV during last weeks’ game. He looked so healthy and vigorous. I’m shocked!
“The police are searching for one Dr. Van Helsing in connection with Mr. Davis’s death.”
OH GOD KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh wait, nevermind.
Give it a break guys!! Try to show a little respect for the deceased!
I guess he just got tired of calling Pete Rozelle and getting a busy signal; he decided to just go visit him instead.
What. The. Fuck?
How does that thing qualify as human?
Commitment to putrescence.
Wait, did someone destroy his phylactery?
*”Fuck Al Davis, cuase he nver paid us”* – Ice Cube
Oh god, the commments in this thread are fucking EPIC.! I can’t eait till RADAH NATIONS new owner is a corporate suit. Oh the GLORIOUS schendfraude that will take place in O-town. EPIC
Hopefully, between this and the Bills’ resurgence, more light will be shed on just how catastrophically bad Mike Brown is as an owner (and GM).
Also, what’s the over/under on how many days Lane Kiffen parties for?
He will be missed, blah.
/Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer wins.
Cue the ESPN dicksucking montage
(For the phylactery comment)
I’m sure Berman will properly honor his memory with a bunch of “WOOPS!” and “Da Raaaaaaaaaaaaaiders” comments during a video montage
Who had October 2011 in the “Al Davis Fakes His Own Death” pool?
And this comment thread is indeed epic, +1 to Ben, Drew, Stabby Pants, thegrenade, and Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. A -1 to ron for pleading for respect – on this site – for an 82 year old man who gleefully hated everyone and loved being hated in return. Also, am I the only one surprised that he was only in his early eighties? Awful picture aside, I didn’t realize he was that goddamn young when the Raiders were at their peak.
Over/under on how many super bowls the L.A. Raiders win?!?
/maybe Snyder’s yacht will spring a leak off the coast of South Africa?
He’s not dead. He’s resting following a pronounced ‘BRAAAIIIINS!’
@Ron Take a seat Jaws!
In accordance with Al’s offensive mindset, I hope they set up a trebuchet and chuck his rotting corpse deep.
“Redskins fans are soooo jealous right now.”
So true. So very, very true.
The Zombie Horde must go down, and it must go down haaahd.
But how can they prove it? All they found was an empty coffin and a wooden stake surrounded by ashes.
A least this will keep the Raiders out of L.A.
I’m going to say at least five days and in the offseason he’ll try to go for the next NFL Head Coaching job (I’ll go with Miami).
This picture is going to haunt the front page for at at least a couple of days. Could you guys create a few more articles quickly and speed it up at least?
I guess there’s a new HNIC is hell today. You know Al isn’t taking orders from anyone.
It is nice of you to use a picture from Davis from the 50′s, 1850′s that is.
And sometimes on a dark pre-draft eve you can walk by his office and still hear the whirr of an overhead projector and the click of a stopwatch.
thank god it’s yom kippur otherwise i would have lost my appetite.
I believe he was the last surviving veteran of the War of 1812.
Shit, Al Davis just died. Time to dump my stock in Gazelles and track suits ASAP.
I could have swore he died at least 10 years ago. I guess now it’s official.
I am throwing the bullshit flag, supposedly he was 82. That young man didn’t look a day over 171.
I hear if you say 4.2 three times in front of your mirror with the lights off at night, Al Davis shows up and gives you a 70 million dollar guaranteed contract
This will teach Mr. Davis never to let someone named Mr. Peter Vincent into his close circle of friends.
Soooo, does this mean the Resident Evil franchise is over?
I knew when those pics came out over the summer that he didn’t have much time. The Raiders teams of the late 60s through the early 80s were amazing – only a few down years 20+ years, four super bowls, seven AFL/AFC championship games *lost*. Al was a scary old dude, but he was a football genius
The first-round-money dreams of hundreds of speedy, stone-handed receivers will be buried with him, in accordance with the prophecy, and special guest Bernard Berrian will organize a 21-drop salute in his honor.
My FFL team’s name is “Corpse of Al Davis”. First, is that name more offensive or less offensive now? Second, should I name next year’s team Corpse of Dan Snyder or Corpse of Bernard Berrian? I’ll consider selling the naming rights to the highest bidder as well.
Raiders for life. One of the most influential sports figures of the 20th century.
“During this indescribably difficult time, let us all reflect upon what it means to be a Raider — let us all reflect upon how privileged we are to be Raiders — and let us all be Raiders.”
Honestly I liked him. His fuck you attitude was better than the political correctness image that some owners strive for.
And here I always thought that Davis was Drew’s ‘based on a true story’ inspiration for “The Postmortal”
@jerry; that name is no “too soon” comedy gold, hold onto it as if your life ….. would be slightly inconvenienced by not having it.
I liked having him as an owner in the Donks division since he was the perfect foil. He was an innovator who let it go to his head, instead of remaining an innovator. He did have a ‘fuck you’ attitude that devolved into silly paranoia and bitter vindictiveness.
Getting old is not for pussies.
@Nippopotamus but he takes your soul and all your talents with that contract.
I agree; that picture is REALLY hard to masturbate to.
Incorrect, Drew. The most jealous people right now are 49er fans. I know because I am one of them.
i thought for sure al davis had been given the cure.
Rule of 3. Ralph Wilson better start the candles now!
A great, great, great man. The NFL will not be the same again.
That’s very sad.
That hand signal Al is giving in the pic above. Is that a Three Stooges “Nyuk-Nyuk” right before he sinks his teeth into some tasty brains ?
Al Davis died 20 years ago but no one had the heart to tell him.
Seriously guys, I think I’m going to have nightmares the more I look at that picture.
Looks like he drank from the wrong cup when looking for the holy grail
I have a different, less crazy Band-Aid Al picture for my fantasy team icon. I’m already oafer four, so I announced to my league that I’m planning to go 2-11 in honor of his tenure.
BREAKING NEWS: Al Davis has fired God. When asked about the firing, Davis said that God did not have a fast enough 40 time.
Maybe Kiffin and Shanahan can get paid now.
In honor of his passing the Raiders will play their next home game in LA.
Great tags. LOFTY tags.
Hmm… and “The Walking Dead” season premiere is next week… Coincidence? You decide…
/walk-on role assured
In honor of Al, I’m wearing my hair in a greased back duck tail, put on a silver necklace, silver sunglasses and a black track suit. I also stabbed my forehead several times, and initiated several lawsuits.
I’ve always assumed Al has been dead for years but has been a zombie all the time. /visualizes Zombie Al getting a shotgun mouthwash from Evil Dead-era Bruce Campbell
“Is this the end of Zombie Al Davis?”
Al Davis 1882. My mistake.
R.I.P. old man. I’ll always remember you in your glory years:
“I have to go now. My planet needs me.”
I really need this picture to be bumped down from the top of the page.
Thanks for the link Leigh – its great to see Al in his glory days
So if Al Davis rises again in a couple of days, will you convert to his religion?
Eh, I’m assuming he’s just been placed back in his antechamber where he’ll continue to call the shots in Oakland with the assistance of his army of robots. /Fallout New Vegas? Mr. House? //Nobody has played that game, have they? ///Fuck it, I’m tired.
I love the “The Redskins are sooooo jealous right now” tag.
My favorite Walt Michael’s story doubles as an Al Davis story: while addressing the Jets Walt screamed at a light ficture ‘I KNOW YOUR LISTENIGN AL’. When told of what happedn Davis supposedly said: ‘I’ll tell you right now the bug wasn’t in there.’
“I love the “The Redskins are sooooo jealous right now” tag.”
It’s funny, ’cause it’s true.
Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains! Christ that’s a scary picture, his grandchildren are the next wave of serial killers, no doubt.
Here’s hoping this same affliction hits Peter “I’m a Giant Bag of Shit Who Knows NOthing About Baseball” Angelos.
I think Davis had a robotic chasis prepared liked the one from Robocop 2 so he could become a cyborg after death.
what about the strong possibility that al davis faked his own death? let’s say his dr said “mr davis , youve got exaclty 3 weeks to live.” so he announced his death, hid out in the privacy of his mansion, and watched all the accolades (mostly positive, maybe 75%) pour in, and then quitreyl die in the night, get cremated, have his assions thrown over the coliseum and have a memorial in december?? would u pt it past him?? i mean, where is the corps? whrer is the ocroners report?? when was he crmeaeted? juewish burial laws reqn .eamm ehte
as is was trying to wrap this up, jewish burial laws require that he be buried very soon after the death announcement—-even tho he didnt like it to be known that he was jewish——he idolized hitler—so what the hell happened ?? as i asked, what hospital did he go to?/ where was the dr?? what happened in the e/r?? what did he die of?? was the coroner paid off?? u cant pay off a coroner, i dont think!!!
Join the discussion. Sign Up or Sign In