Can this game be as lopsided as Colts-Saints last night? That’s what we plan to find out through barely coherent profane commentary and copious NSFW links.

This may not be much of a contest, but at the very least we won’t be treated to an opener as horrid as the Fireman Ed intro from last week. ESPN is reportedly leading off the broadcast with a Sports Science segment on Ray Rice and Maurice Jones-Drew. I don’t know what to say. That’s… a reasonable replacement. Not sure how that happened. But let’s not give them plaudits yet. They haven’t announced the exact subject they’ll be highlighting. It could just be Gruden cackling at the running backs and yelling “THIS SCHRODINGER’S CAT! HE’S INSIDE THE BOX! HE’S OUTSIDE THE BOX! HE NEEDS BOX DISCIPLINE IF WANTS TO MAKE IT IN THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE!”