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"LOLNFL 2011: Week 3"
“Come at me, refbro” had me laughing, and then I got to the “Zero”, and it made me sad, because somewhere, Wayne Weaver sees that photo and wonder how that asshole Jerry Richardson gets a fan that dedicated, and he can’t even get fans to show up in beautiful Florida sunshine.
“Zero” is quite the endorsement for Domino’s.
Coach Manning calls great plays between the two forty yard lines, but can’t physically turn his head to look at the red zone. That’s when Kerry Collins takes over the offence and works his guaranteed 3-point play.
Love the Colt McCoy one, and more blond Asian girls please.
I hope that “nip slip” you mention is Nancy Grace making an ethnic slur. Otherwise I might have to throw up.
@UU: They weren’t Asian and there wasn’t a blemish mark on either of them…until Rex got ahold of them postgame.
I like the look that #94 Rapey McQualuude is giving those girls. He knows the score.
oh man.. Texas girls… LOFTY makeup…
@CMSL, the one on the left looks Asian.
seriously, no Brady? No Pretty Boy? Seriously? /sighs //dick joke //mutters Boston epithet
The unfortunate thing about those blondes is that while I promise you they both smell amazing, you don’t have the money to get close enough to smell them.
You’re probably also 10 years too young.
This should probably get an NFL LOL treatment some time. Snake Dick (can we bring that back, please?) getting the milk mustache treatment: [twitgoo.com]
Dude, I know Buffalo isn’t exactly the most diverse place in the country, but really?
@UU: I agree. I’d go there.
The panthers fan pic made my day. I wish I had that kind of dedication.
@PU, not from Buffalo, and really what?
The Sex Cannon’s jazz hands form is terrible.
When did Lisa Kudrow and Dr. Cox from Scrubs become Cowboys fans?
The Colt McCoy one made me HARF. And I don’t need an explanation of the nip slip and I don’t want to see any pics and I don’t care if you want to explain it. I’m about to flash myself in the face with the Men In Black strobe light to forget I read that.
Wow white chicks in Texas sure do layer on that foundation. Must be a wedding to attend every day down there.
Huh? Where am I?
@EP – Awesome.
The draw me like one of your French girls had me spitting up water.
Banner day for LOLNFL; all of these were fantastic. I hope I can someday give as few fucks as Panthers Guy. That’s dedication.
If Plaxico was a Raider he would have never went to prison.
Those girls from Texas are SO superficial. Give me the wholesome, vegan, free-trade coffee-slurping no-makeup-wearing hipster chicks of an Ivy League college any day of the week.
/no, not really /kill me please
I think the Ithaca winters will do that for you (at least killing your optimism).
@Bostjan, quit your bitching and hit some IC bars or take a drive over to Cortland. Lots of hot girls there.
/married to a Cortland grad
As much as Grantland is a journalistic abortion. Their Bad Quarterback League is damn fine.
Zero looks like he has his eyes closed to me so I’m assuming he’s dead from hypothermia…or bordem
Rex’s reaction made me choke-spit, and not in the way Rexy likes.
Holy cow. Fetushead + Selena Gomez = the Leader?
I bet after the water got up to his ankles, that Panthers guy just embraced it. His shoes are probably destroyed, though.
@UU: Capital idea. What bars would you suggest? Only one outside of Collegetown that I’ve been to is Kilpatrick’s, and they didn’t even card me (probably because I ordered two servings of cheesy bacon fries with extra ranch). I’d love to have an IC girl.
Until you respond, I’ll be doing the usual thing I do to get laid, which is sending sexts to English majors in iambic pentameter.
Prithee, fair lass, come hither for a smook And stee th’ nicht to gif me lance a strook. I’ve pored god wyn into a slendyr flut, Wen that byfalleth – vodka, absolut. I choost thee through an free eleccioun To sooth myn rod, this feigr ereccioun.
/this is why we can’t have nice things
No big ben lip lick rape joke?
@BS, I have no idea. I’m old and only go to Ithaca once a year for work. It used to be the Bomb Shelter, now I think that place is a sports bar called Uncle Joe’s.
Ask around, or Like Toucan Sam said, follow your nose, it always knows.
Asian? Hell no, not even close. She’s practically an Aryan poster girl, except for the peroxide. What’s wrong with white people, can’t even tell your own kind apart now? Does squinting make you Asian now?
Bloody hell is that welsh?
Man, English majors will go for anything that makes them feel smart. On an unrelated note, are you doing anything tonight?
Love the Panthers fan who doesn’t mind sitting in knee-high filth. OLD SCHOOL!
Blonde Asians: Japanese ganguro/kogal
That’s a mild case; a lot of them wear borderline blackface makeup.
About the LOLs, though…I didn’t think it was possible for Peyton Manning to look any whiter until I saw him in street clothes. And the Michael Vick and Elisha slash pic is a little scary.
Mandy; that gave me a REALLY weird boner. I still prefer tentacle porn.
Those Dallas girls; is that the type that people can tell who it was you did the night before by the face print on your pillow case? Just curious.
You people wonder why I’ve lived in places so far away from Dallas – I present that pic of Dallas women. I grew up with that shit.
AnthonyTX is correct.
Nothing about the “Black Hoe” sign in the Raiders pic?
@Moose – My favorite purchase from my trip to Japan? A book of 19th century tentacle-themed erotica. I keep it next to the Marquis de Sade reprints I bought in Paris. There’s probably something wrong with me.
Careful Mandy – you might hurt our brains with fancy talk like that and wondering if Marquis de Sade is a hot French girl.
According to Men’s Health, Peyton’s belt sloping downward in the front means that he needs to do more core exercises. I know, because my belt does the same thing.
@UU: I’ll figure it out. It can’t be THAT difficult…I mean, it IS IC after all ;)
@LordRevisIsle: Nope. Bastardized Middle English. Think Chaucer, except bad.
@CHCC: God, I wish people would see that there’s more to my persona than my hipster veneer suggests. GOSH. Yeah, I’m pretty much free. There was this third world postmodern poetry slam I wanted to check out, but it’s whatever. Bet their coffee sucks. I know this one place, though…
/every conversation/relationship with every English major ever begins – and ends – with a discussion about life or coffee /I wish I was kidding
So it is Welsh.
/ZING!!! //Hopes there are no Welshmen who frequent this site.
Mandy wins the leather bound (for obvious reasons) version of The Story of O.
The boner turned from “weird” to “car crusher”.
*OK, “ant crusher”, but the same idea.
@Sloth – I have more faith in you guys than that! I figured that you’d all know who the Marquis de Sade is, if for no other reason than that I’m pretty sure most of you are perverts (I say that with the utmost love and admiration).
@Moose – Thank you, I’ll accept my award as soon as I get out of this gimp mask and ball gag. The clamps are starting to hurt as well.
Nancy Grace says she will go to the grave denying any nip slip.
JOIN THE FUCKING CLUB. As far as I’m concerned, no such thing happened or ever could happen.
My nipple slipped once; man, that hurt.
For Otto Man: [widget.uproxx.com]
Is the guy in the “Zero” one Jake Delhomme?
@Real Estate Agent
“….somewhere, Wayne Weaver sees that photo and wonder how that asshole Jerry Richardson gets a fan that dedicated, and he can’t even get fans to show up in beautiful Florida sunshine.”
I’m sure you meant the Glazers in Tampa since, you know, the Bucs haven’t gotten a game on TV since ’09
It was quite remarkable how quickly Jake Delhomme’s career imploded during and after the 2008 playoffs.
@Lord; yes, right into the wall. Also unexplained the floating pizza box and the Cards fan two seats down.
You always have to love the spectator who attends the game wearing jerseys and or hats of a team not playing the game they are playing.
One last comment on Jake Delhomme, I don’t think I’ve seen a QB go from competent to abominable in such a short time. It’s not like he was terribly old either.
As to the pizza box, it’s one of nature’s mysteries.
substitute the second “playing” in the first sentence with “attending”.
/I sometimes wish there was an edit feature
@Lord Revis: Derek Anderson doesn’t want to be left out of that conversation.
@Mandy: I actually interned under the Marquis de Sade prior to my career as a prophet. He has a wife, you know?
@ yeah, right?
I’m looking at Anderson’s numbers, while he did one notable season the rest were pretty meh. Delhomme did have about 5 seasons of notable numbers (I guess you can classify them as decent/good, but not great), but then after that notoriously awful playoff performance against the cards, he really shit the bed. I guess I was looking for QBs who had a couple of moderately good seasons but then completely sucked and landed into obscurity shortly thereafter.
/Why the hell am I talking about mediocre QBs @ 1:30 Am?
@yeah, right? – I think the Marquis’s marriage is proof that there’s someone out there for everyone. His wife was nothing but loyal, even when he kidnapped her sister from a convent and fled to Italy after being sentenced to death for sodomy. She also brought him sex toys when he was in an asylum. Kinda sweet, in a way.
I was trying to think of a way to work in a Delhomme or Anderson joke there for the sake of staying on topic, but perhaps it’s better to leave that alone.
@Ralphus: Nope, meant the Jags, who will probably be headed to LA as soon as there’s an opening for a team there. According to Tampa Bay Online: “Tampa Bay has suffered 10 consecutive regular-season home blackouts, including the first two home games this year. Since the stadium opened in 1998, every Bucs home game had been sold out until last season, when all eight home matchups were blacked out locally.” That’s still ten-plus years of sellouts, something a team like Cincinnati would kill for (only not really, because Mike Brown makes his money whether the stadium has 66k or 33k fans in it). The Jags, on the other hand, are considered the poster children for poor attendance in the NFL.
@Mandy Marry me, will keep you bound in my basement.
@Bostjan I hate to tell you but your poem is more than 140 characters Do the women at your school actually go for that? If they do I should have been an English major. I probably should have been one anyway – hotter women than my history classes.
@Lord; there is no shame in talking ANY football at 1:30am; in fact, it is the way things should be. I agree he is different since you’ll see players suffer an injury then never be the same, drugs (see “Hollywood” Henderson, Duane Thomas), confidence (QBs, fucking kickers). Ol’ Delhomme went from a desent strong armed guy (almost beat the Pats in SB) to “I can’t tell the jerseys apart” over a span of a few games.
I thinking he was abducted and anally probed by aliens and his life turned to shit like that guy on X-Files. Maybe they should look for a microchip in his neck.
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