PEYTON MANNING IS DONE FOR THE YEAR! SORT OF! In other news: Colin Cowherd – Still a human penis! Legit 100% confirmation! Also, Reggie Wayne has been downgraded to “useless”! Film at 11!
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"BREAKING: Fat Humps’ Fetusheaded Giraffe Lord Has Neck AIDS"
Wow, I made a pretty lofty decision when I chose not to waste a keeper on Peyton Manning. Kept Hillis and Calvin Johnson, traded Hillis and Michael Turner for McFadden and LeSean!
Speaking of lofty, just finished The Postmortal. Good shit, sir.
Blow me Drew!!! I’ll still take my chances with Drunky McWhiskey than McNugget.
Had to spit my beer out into a cup reading that headline. Well done, sir.
Hmm…wonder why Cowturd doesn’t want to discuss how great Michael Vick is.
That title is pure comedy gold!
goddamnit, BEST. HEADLINE. EVER.
Stick a fork in him, and two bolts in his neck…he’s done.
Does anyone know if Monkey Business is alive? Did he drown himself in gravy?
Peter King reports Peypey might play. Maybe. possibly not.
That headline nearly killed me.
They should go after Carson Palmer. HA
Cut that neck! Cut that neck! Cut that neck!
Will you guys please remove the eyebrowless picture of Angelena right below the comment box? It’s freakin me out, man! Thanks
Monkey Business will not post here anymore when the Colts suck again thanks to Manning’s injury.
The reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated.
Yes, Manning being out for an unknown length of time is disasterous to the Colts chances of making the playoffs, much less getting to the Super Bowl. However, its possible that this Colts team is better than we think. Its possible the offensive line gels into a decent unit. Its possible the defense steps up knowing Manning won’t be there to bail them out. Its possible the Colts develop a running game.
Its also possible monkeys fly out of my ass carrying sacks of gold coins.
For now all we can do is wait and hope this is a temporary thing. If Manning is actually out for the season, maybe the Colts can draft his replacement with a high enough draft pick.
Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a bucket of gravy with my name on it.
Don’t tease me Dan.
It’s time to hire Monkey Business as a contributor to the site. Like a real life falco. Have him do one post a week about the colts. I’d read it. Not for the analysis but for the unintentional comedy of course.
Its the Kerry Collins vs Curtis Painter Cage Match to get the rare prize of Fat Humps Whipping Boy Of The Year. Just wait, it will be a whole Season of “Pey Pey would have thrown a TD on that play” and “Foetushead would have only thrown three interceptions, not five” and blaming all failures on whoever is getting snaps. Unless of course the NFL fixmasters decide that 38 year old Kerry Collins has to be the inspirational story of the year and they replace him with a cleverly designed cyborg who actually make plays.
By the way, this is definitely in the running for best headline of the 2011-2012 season. Someone needs to keep track.
Ohhh you fat humps fans are awesome. From Stampede Blue, which I assume is blue due to the blue icee being spilled all over it.
“Just a point of reference: to me, if I lived in Indy, had season tickets, and the team was obviously tanking in order to improve the team, I would still show up and support them. This is because I would know that they had a plan for the future that made sense, and they cared about getting to and winning the Super Bowl.”
I’m going to rent a glass-bottomed boat so that I can see Battleship Manning lying at the bottom of Eagle Creek Lake.
I’m suprised they don’t fire Zombie Coach Caldwell, and make Pey Pey HC….I mean, I can imagine only the amount of hysteria-induced hypertension, diabetes, and sleep Apia that was just diagnosed in their fanbase!? Chilling.
/ suffered/enjoyed watching a back-up QB who hadn’t started since Senior year of HS.
I only see Joe Theismann’s fibula/tibia in that picture.
Colin Cowherd: “Don’t call me a dick head, I’m ALL dick.”
Guess what? The Colts may suck without PeyPey. No. Shit. But can they lose enough to get Luck? They’d need someone like Kerry Collins at QB. Someone who looks adequate, but will really shit the bed in the clutch.
By FAR the worst part about having Battleship Fetushead on my fucking team is that he is still on Yahoo’s Can’t Cut list.
We sunk their battleship!
I’m starting a suicide pool guys. Paying a cool fitty to the winner. No obligations. If interested comment and I will post later on before kickoff. It’s because I love you guys. And I’ve had drinks.
Well shit. WHAT DO I DO WITH COLLIE AND CLARK IN MY FANTASY LEAGUE NOW?
He’s out for the year and Andrew Luck is searching listings in Geist. Man, Polian is a genius. Now the late May neck surgery makes perfect sense.
/it makes me feel better to think of it this way
FAACK YOU, I WASTED A SEVENTH ROUNDER ON AUSTIN COLLIE
yeah, right?: I would gladly join a suicide pool and promise to bow out in a seriously retarded/drunken fashion within the first four weeks, just like every year before.
I think it’s only appropriate at this point for me to laugh at the dude who drafted Peyton Manning in the first round of my fantasy league.
AHAHAHHAHAAHHHAHAHAAAHAHAHA!!! Now, I think, is a good time to remember the following exchange, from an old Fun with Peter King:
One of my friends used to work/intern for a sports show. One day, he was helping a reporter interview Colts OC Tom Moore. The Colts, of course, were set at QB with LaserRocketArm, so the reporter decided to question Moore about the backup, Jim Sorgi. One part of the interview went a little something like this.
Reporter – How many reps does Sorgi get with the first team offense during the week?
Moore – None.
Reporter – Why is that?
Moore – Because he doesn’t play with the first team during games.
Reporter – So you don’t want him to get any practice with the first team, in case Peyton goes down?
Moore – Well, if Peyton goes down, we are fucked.
Reporter – So why not give Sorgi some first team reps just in case he does?
Moore – Why would we practice being fucked?
Battleship Manning has a broken mast; is now directionless
God, I almost wish the Dolts would sign the ‘Ol Gunslinger just to hear Monkeynuts try and defend it.
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