My high from the bin Laden assassination is slowly starting to wear off, and I don’t like it one bit. We need to kill a famous enemy again, so that I can get that rush back. I got a taste for it now. Once you’ve had bin Laden blood, nothing else will quite do! I CRAVE MORE WANTON BLOODSHED!

Anyway, Sunday night’s announcement of bin Laden’s death was handled with the usual dose of professionalism you’d expect from a President. But there are some of us out there who would prefer a bit more flourish in their assassination announcements. I wouldn’t have minded if the President had smashed a gong before delivering the news.

So, with that in mind, let’s go ahead and pick one person who you would want to give you this news. They can be alive or dead, real or fictional, and let’s assume this is the first time you’ve heard about the death, so the announcement is extremely fresh and of the moment to you. It can also be a written announcement, if you’d prefer a semi-Grantlandish flourish to it (composed on typewriter!). Or you can have the news SUNG to you. And please, do include a snippet of their announcement, won’t you? I’ll go ahead and take Ric Flair…

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! DON’T BE BRINGING OUT THOSE MICKEY MOUSE WATCHES, BIN LADEN!