When we last left National Sportswriter of the Year Peter King, he was giving us his unbiased biased opinion of Cris Collinsworth’s possibly insightful (or maybe not) thoughts on the lockout and making baseless speculations based off of radio interviews that never happened.

So what of this week? Is climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro like a football game? Is Ray Lewis the foremost expert on the NFL’s new crime wave? And for God’s sake, can we get a little nutmeg in here? POSSIBLY. Read on…

 

 

 

 

 

Tom Brady: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh. Hey guys. Just chillin’ with Gisele in Mexico. Hope you weren’t expecting a column from Big Daddy Drew, because he’s unavailable until tomorrow. Why don’t you join me at the hotel pool? Margaritas and Micheladas on me. Oh, you have to work? At a job? That doesn’t allow you to fly to Mexico with your Brazilian supermodel wife?

WHAT?!??! You’re not married to a supermodel?!?! Is she a regular model? Did she at least do some catalogue work?

Jesus, that’s terrible. I’m really sorry.

*goes down waterslide*

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!