If you eat the oysters at Hooters today you’ll probably be begging for the apocalypse tomorrow.

Tomorrow evening at 6 pm we will finally experience The Rapture. That is if you believe 89 year-old preacher Harold Camping. And why wouldn’t you? His Family Radio billboards carry a gold star guarantee from the Bible. Pretty legit. So like most of you I have resigned myself to my fate. By dinner time tomorrow all of us non-believers will be victimized by some sort of giant earthquake. By October we’ll all be dead.

With that in mind, we ask what you will do as your last pre-Rapture act on Earth? Will you get tender with the wife? Hug your kids? Or go on an all-out groping spree at Hooters Gallery Place? That is the topic of this week’s draft. Go nuts, folks. It’s your last chance.