We here at KSK are quite desirous of cinema. Take, for example, our drafts to claim the best room featured in a movie. Or who we want to be the subject of a biopic. Or which movie we’d like to be stranded with on a desert island if we were unable to make sweet lourvvve with Christina Hendricks ’round the clock.

Well, you can have your movie rooms, mister, but you need to fill those rooms with something. Something like love and dust and gum wrappers. And maybe pets. Because pets break up the moments of crushing isolation with flashes of cuteness and COMPLETE AND UTTER DEPENDENCE. And you know what’s better than boring-ass regular pets? Movie pets!

So, it is your duty to choose which pet featured in a movie is the one you’d most like to claim as your own. We don’t really care the reason, so long as it doesn’t revolve around bestiality. Best not to step on Punter’s toes.

I’ll get you started with my own selection – AIR BUD

I haven’t watched a single Air Bud movie, but I can tell you sight unseen that I want that dog for myself. If it weren’t for his misbegotten foray into volleyball, Air Bud might have the EGOT of American team sports. I could make hundreds of millions of dollars off that dumb mongrel and not even be called a horrible monster because I wouldn’t be forcing it to fight or anything else against its will. AIR BUD JUST LOVES TO COMPETE. And I reap all the benefits. But, humanely. Oh so, humanely. [Rifles through stack of hundreds while throwing table scraps to Air Bud]

Thanks to reader Zack for this week’s draft idea.