TCU quarterback Andy Dalton’s red hair is hurting his draft stock in the eyes of at least one NFL team. In the latest issue of SI, Peter King quotes Rex Ryan an unnamed coach:
“Has there ever been a red-headed quarterback in the NFL who’s really done well?” a coach asked one reporter last week. “It sounds idiotic, but is there any way that could be a factor? We’ve wondered.”
At first this was just an amusing anecdote confirming the widely-held suspicion that the draft evaluation process is less than a science. But even as we laughed it off internally at KSK, we wondered: who was the best ginger quarterback to play in the NFL?
As a preliminary matter we had difficulty naming ANY ginger quarterback who didn’t completely suck (thus ruling out Jason Garrett and one of those guys who played for the Giants before Eli, Kent Brown/Dave Graham or whoTFever…) Jeff Garcia’s name was bandied about for a bit. At last, I threw my support behind Bengal qb Carson Palmer. But then the debate took a left turn and devolved into whether or not Palmer was even a ginger.
A Google search revealed there’s ample authority supporting what I had heretofore thought was an unconteroverted issue. Palmer’s detractors on the internet—and they are legion—seem to be aware of his ginger status. But some of my cohorts were having none of it. “I’m sorry, but [red] beards so don’t count,” Drew wrote, “Ask every dipshit out there with Irish blood who has brown hair and a reddish goatee.”
However, these photos of Palmer all seem to make a solid case for his gingerness:
What do you think: is Palmer a ginger?
Are there anyone we’re missing?
What about Sad Brad Johnson? Was/is he a ginger?
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NOT A GINGER
I am one of those dipshits drew speaks of. Although I just have a touch or red here and there in my goatee. My point is we should ask whether or not Carson Palmer has a soul. If he has a soul then he’s not a ginger, if he doesn’t have a soul then he is a ginger.
Daywalker.
Tom Brady will dye his hair red tomorrow, just because he can.
I am another one who found out the hard way that I had ginger blood when I tried to grow a beard. Fortunatly I have a soul. I don’t Carson Palmer as one as he only seems to still have a soul just no brain.
Wouldn’t Sonny Jurgensen be in the discussion here?
Also: Palmer is not a ginger. Speaking as someone with brown hair, a red beard and black pubes, hair can be a fickle thing, but unless he’s red all over (which he isn’t as the hair on his head appears brown, not red), I wouldn’t consider him a ginger.
I think Carson Palmer counts as a ginger. Brad Johnson is decidedly brunette, though.
I cannot think of another ginger quarterback. Jesus. Um… Bart Starr kind of had a strawberry-blonde thing going on.
Soul or no, are we really convinced Palmer is superior to Gay Zorro? Obviously Palmer is the top in that relationship, but Garcia has been a lot more successful as a quarterback.
Goose: was trying to leave Sonny Jurgensen but it wouldn’t post…17 years in the league, 32,000 passing yards, 250+ TDs, 5 time all pro, and legend has it a drinker who would be staggering drunk on game day mornings. Gotta be the greatest ginger QB of all time. And his announcing work is the opposite.
@Tracer
Eh. Gay Zorro was pretty good in his prime, but I think he’s only better than Palmer due to longevity.
Not a ginger. As a dipshit with Irish blood, brown hair, and a slightly red beard I have a vested interest in this.
Gingers are like obscenity. You know it when you see it. It is that revolting…and oddly arousing.
Hey, what about Dan McGwire and Todd Marinovich? Oh yeah, never mind.
Dipshit here. Very red beard and the matching red pubes!
Tarkenton was a solid ginger.
[1.bp.blogspot.com]
Mike Vick is a solid N****r quarterback.
Oh wait, you meant GINGER QB
/I am black, not raycess
/Bet you didn’t see that the N-word is an anagram of ginger
Donovan McNabb plays like he has red hair.
Sidebar: Malcolm X, Redd Foxx and Dennis Johnson were gingers.
I have browner hair than Carson does now. And as a child I had flaming orange hair, definately ginger!
Jimmy the Greek, Rush Limbaugh and the creators of South Park all facepalmed themselves just now.
Mrs. Garrett from The Facts of Life
I say Carson’s no ginger, at least when compared to Andy Dalton. That’s some raggedy Ann and Andy shit right there.
If he goes to Miami like the draft predictors say he might, he will join David Caruso as the onlyest gingers in Miami. How Caruso hasn’t shriveled into one big freckle in that sun is beyond me. But I’d buy stock in Coppertone if I were you.
Speaking of Mrs Garrett- later on in “Diff’rent Strokes” they added a soulless ginger named Sam. It was a cheap attempt to prolong the life of a good show, but that little Daywalking fucker killed it.
I think “Ginger” is one of those weird paradoxes that defy exact definition. Trying to nail down a precise set of rules for gingers would probably lead to a temporal rift and parallel universes like one of the many episodes of Star Trek where there are several Enterprises and stuff happens and everybody dies, but then it didn’t really happen, but it did, but really it didn’t, but maybe it did, but since there is another episode the following week I guess it really didn’t. Anyway the point is whether someone is ginger or not is a decision that must be made on instinct immediately. Trying to think it over in a rational matter and put it in terms that can be quantified makes the resulting decision null and void.
So with that long winded bunch of nonsense out of the way my thought when I first saw Carson Palmer was decidedly NOT ginger.
Flubby now knows what it’s like for a teacher to ask the remedial class a question.
Why stop at who was the best ginger QB? I want to know who was the best Asian QB. Who was the best black kicker? The best Chilean football player of all time?
Come on guys. Have you not seen South Park?
Carson Palmer is clearly not a ginger.
He’s a day walker.
As a requirement Gingers MUST have freckles. So you need to get some good face closeups to determine one’s true “Gingerness”.
Lucy Liu = Ginger.
Let’s start by defining the term “ginger”. Urban Dictionary defines it thusly: “A human, characterized by pale skin, freckles and bright red hair.”
I think we can conclude that Carson Palmer is, in fact, not a ginger, as he has average skin tone, a normal level of freckles, and at worst a strawberry blondeish hair color. I think at worst, Palmer is a Daywalker. Same for his brother Jordan, Chad Pennington, etc.
I’m gonna go with Goose et all and declare Sonny Jurgensen the greatest ginger QB of all time, as his only competition may be Jeff Garcia.
Palmer is not a ginger. Greater question though: is Goodell a ginger or merely a daywalker?
@FavreFAIL
Goodell is the Mother Fuckin Antichrist !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/Pig Vomited.
“I love my ginger son and daywalker daughter.”
Do you, Flubby? No, man, I mean, do you?
GINGERS HAVE SOULS! Carson Palmer goes to church, he’s a christian! You don’t know him! You’re not God! OOOOH! BLLBLLBLBLLL! You’re not God! You don’t know who has a soul and who doesn’t! Alright! If you think Carson Palmer doesn’t have a soul, you tell him! Otherwise, fuck you!
As noted above, the correct answer is Sonny Jurgensen. And, as noted above, the reason GMs are gunshy about the gingers is Todd Marinovich.
Though they’re probably also thinking of Bill Walton at some level, too. No thanks.
Dude, Bill Walton is my hero. While he did have alot of injuries he definitely, um ………… definitely ………. wait what?
Not reading the comments, and being a dipshit with Irish blood; my hair was really dark brown but my beard was ruddier than a baboon’s ass. It used to scare people
Carson Palmer is not a ginger.
Better question: What team has the hottest redhead cheerleader(s)?
/has a thing for the redheads…and Asians…and light-eyed brunettes…and dark-eyed Latinas…
Otto, great call on Marinovich. I forgot about that dude and his horrible father. Which just makes me think that if Dalton is fast, the Raiders take him in the 1st.
Kenny Stabler was once a Daywalker, but now he’s got silver hair. So he’s redeemed in one way, but the thing that makes him soulless is that he’s left-handed.
I cannot confirm or deny Carson Palmer’s ginger-(v)itis,
But its common knowledge that he totally sucks at professional football and should be added to the list that includes Jason Garret et al.
BEN OLSON MOTHERFUCKERS
Oh, are we not talking about greatest Mormom UCLA ginger quarterbacks who never even sniffed the NFL?
Archie Manning and Kenny Stabler had some gingerness to them. But more importantly I think a distinction needs to be made between ginger and auburn, kind of like blacks and mulattoes (what?). The Breesus has some auburn in him, and Aikman had some redness going on when he came into the league, before he started frosting his tips.
Billy Joe Tolliver, FTW!!! Oh wait, I thought you said “most” ginger QB, not “best”. My bad.
Palmer definitely a day walker, by the way.
Sonny Jurgenson
All of you that were able to name QBs by hair color just failed KSK’s First Annual Homo Test. Congratulations. Pick up your free copy of the 2010 Arizona Cardinals season highlights (on VHS) and a card with Troy Aikman’s secret cell phone number at the front desk.
Since we’re naming all ginger quarterbacks Billy Joe Tolliver needs to be included, especially as a comparison to Dalton. Both are crazy looking stone cold gingers from Texas, Billy Joe being a TX Tech product. Both will be known as successful clip-board holders and precision interception machines.
“Why stop at who was the best ginger QB? I want to know who was the best Asian QB. Who was the best black kicker? The best Chilean football player of all time?”
Best Asian QB: Gibran Hamdan. Depending on whole broadly you define Asian, Jack Thompson, The throwin’ Samoan.
Best Black kicker: Donald Igwebuike.
My crack research indicates no Chilean has ever played in the NFL.
You’re welcome!
@SnatchingYoPeopleUp – Peyton Manning is a great NAGGER QB.
Ehhhhh???
[images.askmen.com]
Otto is definitely correct: [myvintagephotos.com]
Assuming my post from an hour ago is still awaiting moderation… Hey guys, put your pants back on and approve my comment! There’s some sexiness in there for everyone.
Brett Favre doesn’t have a soul. Does that make him an honorary ginger?
The most amusing thing is everyone assuming something PK reported on actually happened.
I’m thinking he quoted himself.
I’d like to formally nominate “Gingerbacks” as the proper nomenclature from now on for these evil, soulless split-hooved beasts.
@SSB
Dear God, did he bleach his eyebrows?
Definitely qualifies for daywalker status. Can’t give him full Ginger designation.
Lack of soul really affects NFL performance. Just like lack of intelligence.
I’m still waiting to see an Asian QB. If they weren’t so short they’d probably be really good.
When Manmohan Singh Jr. (the first Sikh QB) enters the league in 2025 then we’ll be up in 8 arms about whether or not helmets should be designed to fit around his turban or if he should shave his beard for team unity or why he doesn’t shower with his teammates.
@ Mr. Eleganza
Asian QB? Lets not forget former Eagles QB Timmy Chang.
Didn’t John madden have red hair before it turned?
Best Black Kicker has to go to Reggie Roby.
Roby’s disqualified for being black. I mean, a punter.
John Beck?
Warren Moon…….
Most of these guys weren’t full-blown cheese-doodle blue-vein gingers, but, at least according to a review of Google Images, they all had red hair in one shade or another:
Bart Starr
Ken Stabler
Len Dawson
Bob Griese
Joe Theismann
Brad Johnson
Trent Dilfer
Brett Favre
…and they all won Super Bowls, some of them more than once. At only 4 percent of the population, redheads have won 22 percent of all Super Bowls. It looks like redheads are overachievers at quarterback.
Melba N. Wow! You’ve done some research, good job. However, now you’ll have to go back to the trenches and find out if the carpet matches the drapes, Favre should be an easy one to start….
Eric Hipple! He led the Detroit Lions to a………well, he played. In the NFL. Sorta.
I remember Hipple the Nipple! Good one, mate!