We’re here to circulate all the lies that the Patriots have told to Peter King leading up to the draft. We’ll still feign incredulity when none of them come to pass. Because alcohol makes that fun.

What’re the chances that Roger Goodell opens the broadcast by bringing Judge Nelson’s head out on a spike, only to use the spike as a pull-up bar to further intimidate the weak-kneed players union? Absolute? Total absolute?

Join us for immature banter and cheesecake (in the soft porn sense, no punch and pie) set to the tune of young men becoming impossibly wealthy before our very eyes. Serious football analysis might be interspersed, but we’re confident that it will promptly be shouted down. BAHAHAHAHAHA NO LOCKOUT FOR NOW!