Name: Christian Ponder
Position: Quarterback
School: Florida State

Age: 23

Height: 6 feet, 3 inches
Weight: 228 lbs

Nicest comparison: A more cerebral Matt Leinart.
Meanest comparison: An autistic Jim Harbaugh.

Strengths: Three-year starter at FSU, Does not have red hair.
Weaknesses: Name insinuates doubt regarding the existance of a living God.

Relevant medical conditions: Suffered season-ending shoulder injury in 2009. Missed…the rest of that season. Suffered swollen bursa sac in throwing elbow in 2010. Went 9 months in 2008 without a single haircut.

Who wants him: Cincinnati, Philadelphia, Jacksonville, Miami, San Fran, everyone else.
Who will take him: Whoever wants a QB after Cam Newton, Blaine Gabbert and Jake Locker are off the board.

What the scouts are saying: Accurate, strong footwork, will run in the open field. Actually went to class, earning his MBA before the 2010 season. Will play hurt. Likes to cuddle, especially after those long, drawn out arguments involving negligence of housework.

Immediate impact: Play charts will enjoy improved penmanship, possible conversion to Excel.
Down the road: Just a bursa sac away from being the next Matt Stafford.