Name: Blaine Gabbert
Position: Quarterback
School: Missourah

Potential Berman nicknames: “Plain” Blaine Gabbert, Blaine “Yo Gabba” Gabbert

Age: 21
Height: 6’5″
Weight: 234

Twitter: @BlaineGabbert (most common tweets revolve around the three f’s: food, fishing, and family)

Nicest comparison: Matt Ryan.
Meanest comparison: Tom Brady’s hairline.

Strengths: Ironing. Looking quarterbackish.
Weaknesses: Accuracy.

Relevant medical conditions: Suffers from Tony Kornheiser disease.

Interesting tidbit: Quite possibly the most quintessential American in the draft, judging from his Plixi account.

Who wants him: Tennessee
Who will take him: Arizona, or one of the five other teams drafting ahead of Tennessee who happen to need a quarterback.

What the scouts are saying: That Blaine Gabbert sure is a nice fella. I should give him my daughter’s number. And I don’t mean the ugly one.

Immediate impact: Hope.
Down the road: Congress.