Lemme tell you, you think you’ve had some crazy dinners in your time. Not like this one. Whoa baby, did I have a zany meal.

So I’m sitting there, eating my steak at this riverside restaurant in Kentucky. Food being served on top of the water. Really! Already you can tell something is not quite right. Maybe if you’re a fish or a bear, eating on the water sounds like a good fit. I don’t know about you, brother, but this was all kinds of new for me.

I’m maybe a few bites into my meal when the restaurant comes loose from its moorings. Don’t you have to make sure those are secure? I would think so. First we were just jutting over the water; now we were on the water. All of a sudden, I’m not so sure about this place. I think about calling for the check. At the same time, I’m not entirely certain that the detachment isn’t actually part of the dining experience. These people are crazy enough to be dining on top the water. What’s to stop them from embracing the experience whole hog? Some folks were losing their grip around me, but there wasn’t no way I wasn’t going to finish that steak. Not on your life!

Yes sir. All around me, frenzy and panic. On my plate, bloodied and delicious rib eye. And here’s the thing: the possibility of danger made it better. I really have to hand it to the owner for attempting such a daring concept in food service, but I’ll be damned if it didn’t work a treat. Real visionary, that guy.

I have to admit, one downside to the concept is that its predicated on the pace on the fellow diners. I’m a fast eater, have been all my life. Maybe that’s what’s kept me so stringy. But anyway, I got done in a hurry, and about ready to go but the restaurant was still drifting down the river and listing violently from side to side. When I’m done, I’m done. I want to get moving. I got a DVD of the third season of Nash Bridges cooling its heels back at my place. That’s not something you want to keep waiting. But we had a bunch of slow pokes too busy gawking at the ambience and not worrying about their entree. And my server seemed to disappear for a while. The service could stand to be a little better.

But I decided to be a good sport and wait everybody out. Of course, a lot of the people were still racing back and forth through the main dining room, carrying on about how the restaurant was now afloat and moving down the river. Okay, that’s wonderful. I was impressed, too. No reason to let your dinner go to waste.

I guess they had a cut-off point, because eventually we came to rest on the side of a bridge. I’ve never so many people happy that a meal was over. I’d be offended if I were the chef. I left an extra large tip to spare the staff’s feelings, the neglect notwithstanding. Some people don’t appreciate innovation. It was a damn good steak and plenty thrilling to boot. I vote with my wallet and I vote yes

When exiting the restauboat, a little hesitation crept in that maybe this wasn’t intentional when I saw that an emergency crew had amassed where the restaurant came to a stop. But then the fire chief said his name was Chuck Norris. Those dinner theatre boys with their wacky sense of humor. Glad they still get a kick out of this after God knows how many times they go through it. A floating restaurant. What a kick!

Which reminds me, terrible thing that happened to Japan. Just horrible. Makes me wanna cry just thinking about it.