RT @RossTuckerNFL: NFL scout: “Ryan Mallett thinks he is Eminem.” It certainly wasn’t a positive from that scout.
So, an NFL scout claims that Arkansas quarterback Ryan Mallett “thinks he’s Eminem.” I can see where that would be a bad thing. Schizophrenic quarterbacks can be rather unpredictable. But this made us collectively wonder, in what way does Mallett think he’s the Enema Man?
Does he sing duets with Elton John?
Does his throwing motion go out of style two months after everyone’s seen it?
Did he pen a derisive philippic about his slattern mother?
Did he film a love scene with Brittany Murphy? (Because that probably isn’t legal.)
Bill Belichick would do this just to get a free a change of clothes.
(“FOOTBALL FRANCONA, NO ONE DENIES THIS!”)
Bucs coach Raheem Morris managed the Tampa Bay Rays in a spring training victory over the Toronto Blue Jays. Morris said of the job “All I’ve got to do is look serious and spit seeds.” Interestingly enough that’s also the job description for Charlie Sheen’s next “goddess”.
When asked by ESPN about Tiki Barber’s ill-conceived comeback, Antonio Pierce slammed his former teammate. “Tiki Barber, the leader, the person in that locker room? He is not going to do anything for your team.” The Giants are going about this the wrong way. They need to get Tiki into camp and show him how to be a better teammate this time around. Just think of the playful welcome-back taunts he could receive, “Ann Curry could hang on to the ball better than you!” or “Hey Tiki, Al Roker woulda made that block!” or “You destroyed your family, you selfish c*cks*cker!” You know, good-natured banter like that.
According to this tweet, ESPN’s Todd McShay was enthusiastic over Auburn tackle Nick Fairley’s pro day performance. Perhaps too enthusiastic:
Todd McShay is gushing, and I mean GUSHING, over Fairley’s Pro Day workout.
[via Goal Line Stand]
Gushing? Ewww. I can’t put my finger on it, but for some reason I find that phrase a little disquieting.
Oh yeah, that’s why.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news & humor before everyone else.