Name: Julio Jones
Much cooler real name: Quintorris Lopez Jones

School: ROLL TAHDE!

Age: 22

Height: 6’3″
Weight: 220

Combine: 4.39 in the 40 and 11’3″ in the broad jump. Oh, and he did that with a broken foot, which should give you an idea of how great he is when healthy. Note: He’s never healthy.

Mainstream comparison: Equal parts Larry Fitzgerald and Michael Irvin, with a dash of cinnamon for flavor.
KSK comparison: Andre Johnson with an expired warranty.

Who wants him: Whoever misses out on A.J. Green.
Who will take him: Washington

Physical freak? Apparently

So he’s a physical freak, but is he a mutant?He grew so fast he remembers that it made his knees hurt, going from about 5-9 to 6-3 in a few months.” MUUUUUUUUUUUUTANT!

What he thinks “Me and Julio Down By the Schoolyard” is about: Some gay shit, probably.

Controversy: He and teammate Mark Ingram once went on a fishing trip that was paid for by a third party. Seems benign, but remember, “fishing trip” is SEC speak for “hooker orgy.”

Immediate impact: A starter from day one.
Down the road: A weekly fixture on his team’s injury report.