Dear Packers fans,

Congratulations on your team’s championship. Throughout the season and the Super Bowl, the Packers demonstrated resilience in the face of adversity and potentially devastating injuries. We enjoyed watching the tenacity of the team’s defense and the cool-headed play of Aaron Rodgers, a man who deserves a championship after the crappy way you idiot Favre fans treated him. On behalf of almost everyone at KSK, I hope you celebrate the Packers’ championship with all the Leinenkugels and cheese curds the region can muster.

But never forget one thing:

We still hate you fat pieces of shit.

Just because your team was generally more likable than its Super Bowl opponent doesn’t mean that you and your idiotic foam cheese hats are off the hook. I hope Rodgers goes door-to-door in your shitty-ass backwater town and knees everyone with a Favre jersey in the groin. Because along with hate for the Steelers, that’s the only reason anyone is happy about a Packers win: every championship Aaron Rodgers wins lessens the legacy of Brett Favre. Your happiness is but an unfortunate side effect.

Live obesely and die young of heart attacks, all of you.

Sincerely,

Kissing Suzy Kolber

(image via 30FPS)