They See Me Rollin’, They Hatin’
01.05.11
To quote flubby’s reaction to this: “What the what the what?” I don’t know, people. I don’t know.
I’m beginning to think that Tom Brady is some kind of genius super-troll. Not content with three Super Bowl wins and dumping pregnant Bridget Moynihan for Gisele Bundchen, Brady is dedicated to raising metaphorical middle fingers to anyone who has an opinion about who he should be or how he should act. That’s the only way any of this makes sense. Posing with the goat. Wearing the Yankees hat. Growing his hair out. Endorsing UGGs. And yeah, riding his son’s RAZR in Boston Common.
Why not, man? TOM BRADY AIN’T CARE. Tom Brady’s not gay, but he’ll make out with a dude just to piss you off. Tom Brady drops the N-word in YouTube videos. Tom Brady called Drew Brees’s baby ugly. Tom Brady beat 5chan twice this season.
Are you a stodgy sports columnist who thinks Brady’s endorsements distract him from football? Tom Brady will pose naked in PETA ads and win the next Super Bowl to spite you.
All we can do is try to ignore him.
(image via, thanks to Barry for the tip)
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You forgot the hater’s guide to the post-season tag. Cause nothing anyone writes will top that picture.
The sad thing is how true it is. :\
Tom Brady comments on Huffington Post as “GlenBeckRulz69″
Hey Chowds, just a reminder that Brady is NoCal born and bred. Go ahead and call him “gay’ like you do everyone else from the Bay Area.
I though Monkey Business was the ultimate trol…..
…O GOD
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW
Tom Brady asks you to help him move a couple of boxes, and when you show up has a couch and three dressers that need to be carried down four flights of stairs.
YOU-AH CAWKMUNCHAS AHH JUST JEALOUS! NOBODY RAWKS A RAYZAH LIKE MY BOY TAWMMY BRADY! NO ONE DENIES THIS! BRADY IS WICKED GREAT, AND HE IS AN INDISPENSABLE PAHHT OF WOODHEAD NATION!
Just kidding. Nobody from Southie would use the word “indispensable.”
Brady fucked Drew Bledsoe’s wife the night before AND the night after he took his job.
Tom Brady signed you up for like five thousand e-mail newsletters
@50andstillfly
TFB could be from Jupiter and be nailing dudes in the ass on the sideline, as long as he’s crushing out wins with Flying Elvii on his helmet I don’t give one fuck. The fact that he’s from San Mateo is not a groundbreaking revelation.
Almost as moronic as Mike Green riding his Vespa to practice while wearing Crocs.
@DefDude – That was hilarious.
Tom Brady is not just a troll, he’s a hipster troll.
There was a “HATERS GONE HATE” picture of the gay kid from Glee on a razr scooter that looked just like this one. I can’t find it, because I’m at work and I’m also lazy. Someone place the two side-by-side!
Tom Brady posted a Lemon Party link on my Facebook page.
Jesus Fuckin Christ, I hope he doesn’t hurt himself. Tawmmy, call me if you need a hand job or anything.
There’s a “Prancing Michael Cerra” tie in here somewhere
Tom Brady will invite you to dinner, then go to the bathroom when the bill comes.
Brady introduced the idea of taping defenses to Belichick in order to pad his own stats, and let Belichick and the underling taper take the fall.
Add endorsing that lame ass Earth Hour thing to the list of shit he does just to piss people off.
I eagerly await the new bounty on Brady’s knees. I hope some kind coked-up LB does a Joey T on him before the Super Bowl.
Haters gonna hate, Brady gonna RAZR skate.
Where’s my Count Al and Zombie Cable post at?
He’s like the Anti-Breesus.
“Deep down in my stomach, with every inch of me, I pure straight hate you. But Goddammit, do I respect you!”
For the love of fuck, can we please not turn this into a Chuck Norris type thing?
I see Tom Brady saw Donte Stallworth’s new ride and got jealous.
“Tom Brady comments on Huffington Post as “GlenBeckRulz69?”
Chest Rockwell + 1
If you guys think this is bad, just wait until he rolls up to the NBA playoffs in a LeBron jersey.
Please let him try to ride it through the Big Dig at rush hour. The word is squish.
Brady says Bleacher Report and The Big Lead are the only sites he reads.
Tom Brady sneaks in your bedroom and farts on your pillow.
“Brady says Bleacher Report and The Big Lead are the only sites he reads.”
Oops…don’t you mean HAS READ TO HIM?
Tom Brady is the executive producer of The TOcho Show.
Tom Brady paid me to post this comment in honor of TheBurnerIsMyDrug
Tom Brady invented posting “First”
Tom Brady and Fetushead walked into a gay bar and it exploded. It couldn’t handle all the douchiness.
Tom Brady is considering dumping Gisele for Snooki
Tom Brady texted Sal Alosi “gunnrz r’nt on cmra whn OB”
Tom Brady shits in your closet. Then covers it up with dirty clothes. Then blames the dog.
Tom Brady will make you turn him into an anti-hero instead of a clown.
/Respects Belichick, not Brady
@j4b, he stole that move from Najeh Davenport.
I shall never recover.
Tom Brady asks for you to get him a drink when he visits your home, then DVR’s Entourage on your TV when you leave.
@-B
I think Mr. Brady was trying to copy this guy:
[cdn.fd.uproxx.com]
Tom Brady encouraged Kornheiser and Wilbon to start PTI.
Tom Brady just bought an unlabeled keg of non-alcoholic beer for his party.
Tom Brady talks loudly on his cell phone on the Acela.
Tom Brady leaves one sheet on the toilet paper and doesn’t replace it.
Tom Brady is Petey King’s next man-crush.
//Be afraid, be very very afraid.
Tom Brady had the FDA ban 4 Loko.
/searches interwebz for roofies/ghb homebrew cocktails
Tom Brady told Peter King that King has a “great football mind” and that everyone “loves reading about coffee.”
Can someone Shop in one of the Keanus behind Tawwmy Terrific? Appreciate.
+10 The Quasi-Loftiest
@UU: I remember reading that somewhere. If I inadvertently stole your joke, then my bad. But Brady is still a closet shitter in my book. At least he doesn’t wear tight jeans with his Jordan III’s because that would be going too far.
@porky1
and Leonardio DiCaprio skipping-to-my-fucking-lou in the background?
Tom Brady ices bros.
Tom Brady is planning on wearing a Steelers baseball cap during the postgame press conference of the AFC Championship game, win or lose.
Tom Brady calls you a dick for not helping a lady carry bags, while he sits with his legs crossed watching.
Tom Brad makes Ed Hochuli wear extra-medium shirts.
Tom Brady forgot 9/11
/shows self out
@ Dr. Rip…
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand this thread is closed.
Big Ben asks, “Where he helmet? See, Ben not only one who can crush own head”.
Tom Brady and Jay Cutler are best friends, brah.
Tom Brady calls the number on TV for the SPCA to offer a donation, and gives them your name and address.
Even Drew Brees thinks Tom Brady is a dick.
Tom Brady’s in the next Kendra sex tape, and he’s already signed a contract to get Hank Baskett’s half of the proceeds.
Come on, he had to get around somehow after wrecking the Audi S8 given to him by a charity for kids with mental handicaps.
Tom Brady asks for extra egg nog in his egg nog double latte.
Tom Brady thinks Daniel Pearl’s just another journowhore.
Tom Brady wears New York Giants Super Bowl XLII Champions clothes to team meetings.
On behalf of the AFC East…
We kinda mad. Mostly despondent.
/The quarterback situation in the AFC East is fucking atrocious.
Chan Gailey can never be fired or I will die, because 5chan makes me live. Seriously that was the funniest thing I’ve ever read.
Tom Brady took all two inches of the Sex Cannon.
Tom Brady went vegan right before your barbecue.
Tom Brady stays up late writing Chuck Norris comments on blogs.
Tom Brady encouraged Mort only to refer to the NFL as the National Football League and the BCS as the Bowl Championship Subdivision.
Tom Brady killed Jack Kennedy
Tom Brady offers to pick you up at 8pm sharp, but then shows up at 8:40 and says hes late because he fell asleep.
Tom Brady always gets happy endings from his massage therapists, all handsome and manly men between the ages of 22 and 24, and never gets sued.
Tom Brady orchestrated a merger between Unicef and Smith & Wesson
tom brady told brett farve to send pics to Christina Scavo and Shannon O’Toole. “hey its cool i do it all the time, they like it”
I call bullshit. Even the Golden Boy wouldn’t fuck Snookie. Hell, even I wouldn’t fuck Snookie, and I’m pathetic.
Way to copy Barstool’s article title
Tom Brady thinks Bert Blyleven just wasn’t great enough for the HOF, but that hard-workin, big-game pitchin, mustachioed Jack Morris is more than deserving.
/noonecaresaboutbaseball
Tom Brady sends pics of his penis to your mom while him and your dad are out drinking.
Tom Brady voted for Nader in 2000.
Amazing post title
Tom Brady insists on pulling off the freeway during a road trip to stop a Starbucks, but then discovers they don’t have the blend he likes so he doesn’t buy anything.
Tom Brady will let you think you are going to win the SB and then lead a last minute drive to win another ring.