“Hold up! Did you file a proper requisition for those socks?”

Steve Spagnulo seems to have the Rams headed in the right direction. Sam Bradford has the makings of a solid franchise quarterback, and the defense has improved significantly. But to longtime equipment manager Todd Hewitt, not everything about the Spags era has been so super.

Hewitt was recently let go after 32 years of service with the Rams (he started out as a ball boy when his father was the equipment manager back in the 70’s), and now he’s telling his story.

To hear Hewitt tell it, Spagnuolo brought a militaristic dysfunction to the locker room. He criticized the way Hewitt distributed socks. He questioned the way he hung wall fixtures. He scoffed at him for loading the team plane too slowly. He warned him never to talk back to him.

He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.