Eagles and the Packers in the playoffs should evoke memories of the 4th and 26 conversion the Eagles pulled off en route to losing yet another NFC title game. If nothing else, it gave ESPN cause to dredge up the festering corpse of Freddie Mitchell. Fred-Ex had quite the recollection of the play. One might say incredibly delusional. Another might say hilariously self-absorbed. I’ll say DERPtarded.

You know that play is a love-hate play for me because that was the first time they threw to me the whole friggin’ game. I was blocking my ass off doing everything it took, doing the stuff that society doesn’t recognize.

A block that dare not speak its name.

That whole year sucked for me, and the next year sucked even more. But anyway…

Back to my flash in the pan…

I actually had to go tell the coaches that I was wide open and to throw me the ball. The coaches literally had to talk into Donovan’s headset and tell him I was wide open and to throw it to me.

Donovan looked at me in the huddle and said, “Ready?” And I said, “Dude, I’ve been ready the whole game.”

“Dude, I was born ready to tell you I was ready.”

I started reading the defense as soon as I got to the line of scrimmage. For most guys, it takes a lot of years to read defenses like that.

The name of the play was a 2 Jet Double Go. What it does is sends Pinkston and Thrash on “Go” routes and what I do, as the Sultan of Slot, is I read the middle. I had to take a certain angle that most young receivers wouldn’t have taken. Any other angle and it would have been a bum play. I was the master of finding holes, and I knew right where the hole would be. It was money.

Rookies would never be able to cram as many douchebag cliches into a single paragraph. Fred-Ex got at least a half dozen in there.

First of all Donovan’s pass was behind me and it was wobbly, but I had to take advantage of the opportunity that was presented to me. Right when I caught the pill, I kind of knew I had the yardage right away. I looked at the sticks and to see where I was at and I knew I got it. I felt like Michael Jordan hitting a last-second shot or Tiger Woods sinking a 50-foot putt.

Then I had to pull out the belt…

“And drop my pants so I could shit the bed on the rest of my career.”