In this one, people actually root for the asteroid to hit Earth.

Terrell Suggs termed the third meeting between the Steelers and Ravens “Armageddon.” He also said it will be the de facto AFC championship, because whoever emerged the victor in this game is supposedly virtually assured to defeat whoever wins between the Jets and the Patriots (let’s not mince words – the Patriots). So it’s pretty obvious Terrell Suggs is a tardwit mouthbreather, not to mention one who is quite fond of letting T-shirts do the trash talking for him.

Pfft. Birds don’t have five fingers, let alone a thumb. FIX YO ANATOMICALLY INCORRECT PROFANITY!

Ray Rice was apparently experiencing flu-like symptoms and spewing vomit-like substances into his toilet-like device on Friday. He’s going to play anyway, which is good, because this wouldn’t be much of a game if captain checkdown Bert Flacco didn’t have his target of choice coming out of the backfield. Rice had 52 rushing yards in two games against Pittsburgh this season. Without 26 more, you just know they’d be toast.

Ben Roethlisberger has won his last six starts against the Ravens and Pittsburgh is 2-0 in the playoffs against Bawlmer. Those stats obviously don’t mean much for today’s game, but if The Ben takes another from the Ratbirds, it just means another year of Ravens fans’ tear-laden masturbating to Bart Scott’s hit from 2006. That Scott left the team two years ago only makes the still-constant chest-beating about it all the more morbidly hilarious, like most things about Charm City.