Hate restores us. Hate focuses us. Hate keeps us warm at night and spoons us if we so desire it. And no time is hate more powerful – more necessary – than the postseason, when those we despise are so close to getting what they want. I don’t get what I want, so f*ck those guys. There are countless reasons to hate anyone. Some of which you might not be aware. Or been made to realize that they are worthy of scorn. Well, you came to the right place. Allow us to guide you to the darkest recesses of the soul, where the streets run dark green with bile and everyone knows your embarrassing nickname.
This was supposed to be easy. After all, we’re talking about the Eagles here. The Philadelphia Eagles. Your hate for them should flow like Mississippi in the days following a record rainfall. But for many the hate has slowed to a mere trickle. And it’s all Mike Vick’s fault.
Once Vick was thrust back under center the Eagles quickly became the NFL’s most exciting team. They have been thrilling to watch, and the added story of Vick’s rehabilitation and reclamation have further diluted our righteous vitriol.
At this point the Eagles are totally like that one crazy hot girl that Bill Simmons probably never dated. We should know better than to grow to fond of them. As aesthetically pleasing as they may be, we must resist all urges to root for them in the playoffs, especially if they should happen to win the NFC.
Yes, Mike Vick is incredible. But just think what a Super Bowl title would mean for the citizens of Philadelphia and the rest of the football loving nation. Never again would we be able to dismiss their drunken fans with jokes about their barren trophy case. Frankly, I’m not sure I want to live in a world where the Eagles are victors, and neither should you.
Their fans, while often unfairly maligned, are still some of the league’s preeminent assholes. Their coach is big old bag of shit. Their top receiver is a dick. And whenever you catch yourself marveling at Vick’s brilliance just picture him stomping the life out of your childhood dog.
The Eagles may have drawn you in, but now you must pray that they become the next flock of birds to fall to Earth. Otherwise the end of days could truly be nigh.
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Unfairly maligned? The fuck? You gave Dan Levy final edit on this post, didn’t you?
Thank you, Ape
Yes, Thank you, Ape.
Did an IGGLES fan write this nonsense? Their fans are among the most fickle and retarded in all of sports, not just football. Face it, their defense stinks, their “best” wide receiever can only run one route and their QB HATES DOGS…nuff said.
I was expecting to be eviscerated as a fanbase here. I don’t even feel like I’ve been maligned.
I’m… disappointed…
/DeSean is a dick, but he’s OUR DICK
//that sounded pretty homosexual
///shows self out
Wow, a Ricky Watters jersey. That takes me back.
bah, it’s easy (coming from a Packer fan). The defense is gonna force Vick to run right, and throw left. Threat neutralized… Clay, Raji and Woodson gonna have a heyday.
“Unfairly maligned”? Were they standing over you about to throw some D-cell batteries unless you wrote that?
“And whenever you catch yourself marveling at Vick’s brilliance just picture him stomping the life out of your childhood dog.”
That will surely throw a urine-soaked wet blanket on your American-second-chance-hero fire.
They’ll probably revert back to form with 3 turnovers and poor clock management.
When Philly fans aren’t engaging in arbitrary, unprovoked, white trash violence, they are being complimented on National Television by people like Al Michaels for being the “smartest sports fans in the country” because they boo when their team sucks. Nevermind that they also boo when their team is successful, when their team drafts a black guy, during the national anthem, or for that matter when other teams are accepting the Stanley Cup trophy.
Phuck Filly.
The bigger question is: Why didn’t Ape write this post?
Or are you saving the hate for the Ravens?
Sports fans from Pennsylvania are all dicks: Steelers, Eagles, Flyers, etc. They act like their teams cured cancer. I’ll be rooting for Vick to get his leg done the same way Theisman got his. Philly is a slimy butthole of a city, as a native Baltimoron, I know what shithole cities are all about.
I miss the cool graphic depicting on a scale of 1 to 10 how much the players and fans are dickholes.
NOT ENOUGH HATE!!!
Eagles fans are about as bad as it gets, but even they aren’t as bad as they are sometimes made out to be on the internet.
@DeSean
At least someone gives a shit about your team. I’m pretty sure it’s just me, RWB, and Burnsy who care about Miami. You, on the other hand, have an exciting and vibrant team, loaded with talent at WR and RB…
/You’re so lucky
//Don’t you realize how lucky you are?
///You’re so lucky
Unfairly maligned? They BATTERED SANTA CLAUS WITH SNOWBALLS AND THREW D-CELL BATTERIES AT PEOPLE. (Don’t give me “those were Phillies fans!” Then you’d be saying your baseball fans are more hardcore than your football fans, and you don’t want to say that.) Philly should be nuked just for the fans it produces.
They get a pass for cheering a temporarily dead Michael Irvin. Any flak from that was undeserved.
Nevermind that they also boo when their team is successful, when their team drafts a black guy,
That’s right, they booed because they drafted a black guy instead of that whitebread honky cracker with the Johnny Unitas haircut that everyone wanted… what was his name anyway? Oh yeah, Ricky Williams. Come on now.
Oh, and let me just point out that the time has come to stop considering Philly a world-class city. It’s basically just an extension of Jersey where you have to pump your own gas.
WOW if this had a touch more self-loathing I would have thought it was written by emo eagles fan
/needs more hate
//Jason Peters is a d-bag
@JJ Fozz: Steelers’ fans have cured cancer…if only because so many have had Pittsburgh-related cancer that they’ve all been test subjects.
@synapticmisfires
I can take the booing rap, even if it’s unfair. I can take the Santa Claus shit. I can even take Pukemon being lumped in with us, even if he’s disgusting and no one even likes or wants to accept him.
But when you start lumping Philly in with New Jersey, that’s where you cross the line. Fuck New Jersey, and fuck you.
So the point of this post was to rile up hate in the talkbacks? That’s terrible hustle.
If you think Massholes or Fat Humps are insufferable, just you wait until Iggles fans actually earn some hardware … they already give Tawmmy a run for his money and their team hasn’t won jack squat since Ike was President.
Then again, with Andy Reid as their Head Coach, they have exactly zero chance of winning the Lombardi Trophy, so maybe that’s why it’s hard to hate on them …
As much as I’d like see this walking made for TV movie come to a positive conclusion (and from growing up in Vick’s hometown), I can’t bring myself to root for these bastards.
Doesn’t help that they completely threw us on the stand with no KY a couple of weeks ago either. May the gaping maw of hell open up beneath Fairmont Park.
I hate all of you.
Maj, were you finding it a little harder to summon the usual hate for Eagles fans after having to watch McNabb on your team for a full season? Because that would make a ton of sense to me.
Eagles fans are assholes, but are they worse than Colts, Giants, Cowboys, or Pats fans? I can’t answer that. They did pelt Santa Claus, though, and their city is a festering asshole.
Also, cheesesteaks made with spray cheese are fucking disgusting. I don’t care if that’s the ‘authentic flavor,’ it’s nasty and I hate the way they put ketchup in things that ketchup has no business being in.’
Additionally, it’s sort of unfair how one city can claim to be the originator of cooking onions, meat, and cheese together. Pretty lofty claim, Philadelphia.
Finally, It’s Always Sunny is overrated, the Sixers will never be relevant again, the Phillies are boring on the basis of being a baseball team, no one gives a fuck about hockey (not that anyone has had a reason to care since Lindros left), and your defense is theoretical at best.
/Still rooting for the Eagles, though
UM would have maligned Philly fans even more, but thought it was better to let sleeping dogs lie. Oh, they’re not really sleeping?
Retooling their offense by adding Vick was the equivalent of giving a dead dog a bath…
Anyone betting on the ‘dog at home?
Green Bay is favored, but I don’t have a dog in this fight.
Seems like Ape is the only one around here with the beautiful gift of pure hatred in his heart.
85- empathy is a bitch
If the Eagles ever did win a Super Bowl, I can totally picture us being unrepentant assholes about it.
Oh, and how dare you post that picture of me!
/That’s not really me. I would have puked on myself if that were me.
I just can’t believe you passed up a chance to make fun of that “Marky Mark becomes an Eagle” movie.
Or at least the “Always Sunny” ripoff.
I do have a hard time hating the Eagles. Last year, they did what they should have done years ago. They dumped Donovan McNabb… Man did he suck as a QB. They sent him to a division rival because.. well… he will suck just as much there as he did in Philly, so its not like they have to worry… “OH no, McNabb is playing us.. he’s gonna torch our defense. And when he plays that 2 minute offense, man is he dangerous..” I don’t think anyone will ever say, or has ever said that, about Donovan McNabb.
And Shanahan, rather than endure years of McNabb’s idiocy, benched McNabb before his first season with the Redskins was over. For Rex Grossman. Ha ha ha ha.
But, they still have Andy Reid as their head coach. The guy couldn’t manage a clock or manage a game to save his life. I’m sure he’ll find some way to fuck up his team’s chances of advancing to the Super Bowl.
I couldn’t even properly enjoy the Redskins fucking up royally again this year because every time something went wrong, there was some Eagles retard crowing about how McNabb’s struggling justified the decade of batshit, groundless loathing they gave him at every single point in his career. Fuck Philly scum. I hope McNabb and J.D. Drew take turns carpet bombing that shithole.
They did pelt Santa Claus, though
In 1968. Most of those people are dead. Pukemon is indefensible, UPDATE YO GENERALIZATIONS!
Additionally, it’s sort of unfair how one city can claim to be the originator of cooking onions, meat, and cheese together.
The same way New York can claim pizza, Baltimore can claim crab cakes, and Indianapolis can claim Steak N Shake?
Finally, It’s Always Sunny is overrated
Repent.
Also, cheesesteaks made with spray cheese are fucking disgusting.
Agreed. And the ones they serve at the Linc are turrrrrrible.
Finally, It’s Always Sunny is overrated
You’re on your own here, son.
the fuck?
where’s the hate?
what happened, was Ape taking a shit when this was written? cuz it seems to be about as much time you spent on writing this one!
/dick joke
//fuck you Al Davis for letting Cable go. we are fucked again
Wha?
The Eagles fans booed Austin Collie as he laid lifeless on the ground this season and you thank them for having an exciting team?
The Saints got more hate than the Eagles? Where am I?
I’ll take an Eagles win, ‘cuz it would be nice to see Philly burned to the ground by it’s own celebratory hooliganism.
Maj, I’m disappointed. If this were the Giants or the Cowboys, you would have worked up a big, steaming, ten-pounds-of-shit-in-a-five-pound-bag helping of hate. Which, to be honest, in the Giants case makes no sense; I don’t really give two shits about the Redskins. But I digress.
Why do I hate the Eagles? Where to begin? First off, fuck Vick. In their haste to add Vick to their ever-growing load of QB wangs firmly lodged in their mouth, the media has forgotten the part of the redemption story where Vick was a dog-killing scumbag who shows little to no remorse for it, and they extoll the virtue of “second chances” when we all know the only reason he got a second chance is because he’s a fucking circus-show athlete. The rest of us would still be in jail or begging for the fucking 7-11 to take a chance on us. So fuck him.
DeSean Jackson to ESPN, late in 2009: “It’s unpossible to stop me.” So there’s a heaping helping of hate for that bullshit.
But hate for the Eagles begins and ends with those fans. What the fuck is it about Pennsylvania and the crippling need to be seen as “blue-collar” lunchpail kind of fans? At least in Pittsburgh they actually have some claim to it; Philly has just managed to equate “hooliganism” with “blue-collar.” It doesn’t make you a more committed fan, it makes you a bigger asshole rooting for a team that will NEVER get over the (fat) hump and win a Super Bowl.
Although, thinking about it a bit more, the above would suggest that most of the Eagles fans are Pennsylvanians. If only. Much like in Chicago, where the worst of the White Sox fans are braindead vagabonds from that God-forsaken hydrogenated fatscape of Indiana, who should be rounded up by state police and summarily executed at the border each day, the worst Eagles fans are from “fuckin’ Joyzee.” SOUTH Joyzee. The people who think that the rest of America watches Jersey Shore with envy, rather than almost crying from the laughter of ridicule. The people who look at Mike Shanahan’s asbestos skin and say “whoa he’s got a good tanning place.” The people who got that crackwhore Snooki in a little plastic ball for NYE and didn’t have the common fucking decency to ensure it got stuck a thousand feet above the air and let her fucking oxygen run out until every last melanin-riddled brain cell of hers finally died and she had to be put off camera with Dick Clark and revived with jumper cables hooked up to her nipples.
THESE PEOPLE are your Iggles fans, ladies and gentlemen. I WISH they were the emo Eagles. They’re a million times worse. It’s a Satan-spawned combination of Philadelphia trash and a bunch of numbnuts New Fucking Jersians who couldn’t even raise their balloon-deltoided arms above their head to hit me now if they wanted to. Not only do you fucks not deserve a NFL championship, your rights to oxygen are highly fucking questionable at this point.
That fucking song. Is there anything gayer? The looks on those fuckers’ faces when I reminded them that, no, the New York Giants don’t have a song, they have Super Bowl rings instead, will remain a cherished memory for life. So go pelt Santa Claus, chuckle at your fucktard governor’s pronouncements, do whatever. Just preferably at the end of it, burn your lips up on a tailpipe getting a good heaping helping of carbon monoxide, you subhuman fucking mongloids.
Andy Reid’s inevitable blank look when he fucks the Eagles out of the playoffs cannot come soon enough.
Die, Eagles, Die. Fuckers.
I was at Philly in December for a buisness trip, and let me say that they city of brotherly shove makes Fat Humps look positively svelte. It is the constant consumption of “world famous” grease hoagies? I don’t know.
Is the fanbase full of obnoxious and whiny twats, second only to Massholes in terms of sheer annoyance? I don’t know.
Am I going to be positively giddy when Vick gets flushed from the pocket and destroyed by the Packers linebacker corp? FUCK AND YES!
Wow that was way too long. I need a new job.
Want to hate the Eagles? Freddie Mitchell. Fat Ass Mormon Walrus coach.
@ th/desean…Gas is cheaper in Jersey.
@ jjfozz….Two types of cancer cures were developed in both Pittsburgh and Philly.
Weak apologetic bullshit. Does Vick cum taste good?
Who makes cheesesteaks with spray cheese? What the fuck is spray cheese? Anyway, the least hatable thing about Philly is cheesesteak.
And Philly fans are unfairly maligned in much the same way that cancer gets a “bad rap”.
ManginosStarvingChildren: From an Eagles fan, that was good hate. You mostly skipped the low-hanging fruit, and went right for the jugular. Bravo.
@ManginosStarvingChildren:
Out-fuckin-standing expression of hate there. Now that’s how it’s done.
My strongest hate regarding the NFL is reserved for the Colts and Brett Favre (I could write many paragraphs about how much I hate Favre. Maybe that old piece of shit will finally go away and rot somewhere. We can only hope for the best.)
@Bill Cower’s Chicklets
That’s true, BUT nearly everything else about the state is a festering pile of shit that I can’t stand. The southern Shore area (Atlantic City and such) is nice, and the diner scene is key, but other than that. FUCK NEW JERSEY IN ITS ROTTEN ASSHOLE.
@Sausage: They didn’t boo Collie. They booed the bullshit roughing call.
And that call was universally considered bullshit by everyone.
Michael Irvin, on the other hand? Yeah, we booed the fuck out of him when we thought he was dead. I stand by that booing.
@DeSean Is My Anti-Drug
Atlantic City is fun. It is most certainly not nice. But yeah, fuck Jersey.
Never forget that Philly HAS to be busing in those cheerleaders. “Philly 8″. I’m convinced their hooliganism stems from the mid-70′s Flyers. (Broad Street Bullys). The inbred white trash that cheered for Clark et.al, went on to marry their sister and produce more sub-IQ white trash.
@85
Eh, I’ll grant you that outside the casinos, AC is a festering example of urban blight, but the other shore cities are pretty key. Sea Isle is nice. Wildwood has a good boardwalk, Cape May is good if you like the whole couples experience. Ocean City can eat a fat dick with its no alcohol sales though.
Anything North of Ocean City, you start to enter Snooki territory though. Seriously, they didn’t make Jersey Shore in Ventnor or Stone Harbor. That’s Seaside Heights all the way. Fuck that noise.
@ManginosStarvingChildren: That’s some FavreFail level hate. Damn.
And I thought these Guides to the Postseason were supposed to rip each team a new ass or twathole as it were. I feel jipped. Can we call a do over?
@ Mangions … Your hatred for Jersey is right on the mark … except for the entire thing about Snooki. We wouldn’t fuck her with your dick. Let’s not forget that South Jersey folks are the ones responsible for punching that fat orange smurf in her drink-hole.
[www.youtube.com]
There’s never been a better representative for the Eagles fan base than Jkallih.
Fuck da Eagles.
/wanted to post link to Fuck da Eagles Heather, but I want to keep my job
Just watched a youtube of desean getting laid out by dunta. Helped a little.
@Otto
Don’t get me wrong, I love It’s Always Sunny, but some of the fans in the 18-25 demographic that I reside in are fucking obnoxious.
I just found out that Sparano is coming back to the Dolphins next year. I will be despondent for the rest of the day.
The really sad thing is my Colts hate was far more vitriolic, and I’m a goddamn Giants fan.
@Jackin – I do my best.
@NJSeahawks – fair point. I just wanna massacre the assholes who put her in that plastic ball; I was really hoping for her to get trapped, like Harry Shearer in the pod in This is Spinal Tap.
Bravo, MSC.
Your lack of hate is disturbing.
/Vaderd
I think Ape should just do the rest. Don’t get me wrong, I love Maj and Drew, and normally they’re good haters. But this just isn’t their best hate. When the least hate is given to the eagles and the colts post is simply “I hate them worse than the pats”, it’s time to send em to the bench for a series.
/criticizes free content like an asshole
[warmingglow.uproxx.com]
What’d I miss? I just spent the last 5 minutes transfixed by watching the Snooki Punch GIF. It’s the gift that keeps on giving …
I dunno, Mulva, I think saying you’d root for the Pats over any team is a lofty enough designation of hate.
@NJSeahawksFan
What I enjoy about that GIF is that you can tell it’s a solid hit because her hat comes off.
Don’t get me wrong, I love It’s Always Sunny, but some of the fans in the 18-25 demographic that I reside in are fucking obnoxious.
Fair enough. From my lofty perch in the upper 30s, I don’t have to deal with those folks much.
RE ManginosStarvingChildren: Now THAT’S hate. Dayum….
LOL U MAD?
Where Yous Been At???
It’s been a long time, kids! Where yas been? Dere’s been so much goin’ on. Good and bad, yaknowhaddamean. First of all, da Phil’s!! How ’bout it? All dem years since da Phillies did anything. Actually, all dem years since ANY Philly team has done a fuckin’ ting. It’s about damn time, dat’s all I can say! Whaddaya say dere, Vinny?
Vinny: It’s about damn time.
Birdman: Fuckin’ A, pal. I tell you kids what, after da Phils won, I got fuckin’ smashed. Well, I was already fuckin’ smashed. Whaddaya say dere, Vinny?
Vinny: Fuckin’ smashed.
Birdman: Fuckin’ right. Well, after dey officially won, I celebrated by kickin’ the shit outta some mick fucks, rolled a car, and lit a bag a shit on fire. Whaddaya say dere, Vin?
Vinny: Wasn’t it on your own porch?
Birdman: Shuddafuckup, Vinny! YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING!!!
Vinny: I don’t know anything.
Birdman: Fuckin’ A. So dat’s dat, now let’s move on. Once again, my beloved Birds fucked up and didn’t make it to da Sooper Bowl. You know who I blame? Brian Dawkins. Dat’s right. He knew he was gon’ be traded, so he let da team down. Him and McNabb. And Westbrook. And Andy Reed. In fact, da whole team’s a bunch a fucks. Dey can’t win da Sooper Bowl? Fire dem all and fuckin’ kill dere families. Dere’s better players out dere who’d love ta play for da classy fans of Philly. I’m tellin’ ya. Whaddaya say, Vinny?
Vinny: Classy fans.
Birdman: Fuckin’ A we’re classy. The classiest fans in the wor…
(yells at TV)
Rip dat faggot’s face off and shit in his throat! Fuckin’ Penguins can lick da diarrhea from my ball sac!
Vinny: Classy fans.
Birdman: Shuddafuckup Vinny. It’s almost Stanly Cup Season, and our beloved Flyers are lookin’ to bring anudder championship to Philly. I tink Philly is gonna be like dem pricks in Boston, wit more den one team winning championships. Da Flyers are gon beat da piss outta everyone else, you just wait an see.
Vinny: Beat da piss outta everyone.
Birdman: No one asked you, Vinny.
Bartender: Yous guys wan anudder round?
Birdman: Da fuck you tink, Dom? Of COURSE we do. I only had twelve. I need at least 15 before I can go home and show da wife who’s boss. So anyways, da Phils kick ass, da Eggles suck as usual, and da Flyers are gonna kill some mudderfuckers in da playoffs. And by da way, da defending World Series Champs just started anudder season, where we go back ta back. Until September, it’s a good time to be a Philly Fan.
Vinny: A good time.
Birdman: Shuddafuckup, Vin.
@ManginosStarvingChildren:
That’s some awesome hate right there
I walked among these mouth breathers for 4 years. Yeah, all teams have douchebag fans who throw beer on people wearing the opposing teams’ jersey. And, in most cities, normal people are ashamed of those fans. The difference in Philly is that normal people are not ashamed of those fans. Being an asshole is a point of pride and even the most educated Philadelphian is all, “Hey, that’s Philly for you…it’s just our attitude…” The difference isn’t so much in the number of douchebag fans, but in the number of douchebag apologists.
A few additional points:
- roast pork from Tony Lukes or Dinics is a head and shoulders better sandwich than the best cheesesteak in the city.
-Philly is the capital of Jersey. The distinction is meaningless.
-The Phillies are to Philly was the Pats were to Boston. No one in that city could name 3 players prior to 2008.
Though, don’t get me wrong, I loves me a good BYO…
Though, here’s some top shelf Philly hate right here…
Growing up in a family full of Eagles fans I couldn’t stand drove me far away from the Eagles fan base. I never wanted to see them succeed as a kid.
Then, I moved away from home and found myself nostagic for my hometown, with our pissy, homeless infested Center City, crappy mall located right in the middle of everything, and inept/corrupt mayors (word to John Street!) Reading through all the hate posted in the comments section somehow has galvanized my love for my hometown, but not really swayed me in favor of the Eagles. The only benefit that I would get from and Eagles Super Bowl win is the same benefit I got from the Phillies pulling it out in 08: Chicks get incredibly drunk and want to do awesome things to every dick in sight.
With that said, since my team isn’t in the playoffs, go Eagles. Why? Because I’m 21 and interested in plowing college chicks, that’s why.
AJ Daulerio is from Philly.
/ponders Emo Eagles Fan
I guess we know who got the penis in this marriage.
ManginosStarvingChildren’s hate was on the mark. Ape got smoked on the hating there.
This is Philadelphia people! The worst of all the douchebag slimeball fucks in America. They make Tawwmy seem like quite the affable gent.
I hate Eagles fans, with everything I have.
Dammit, I’m an eagles fan since the early 70′s. I saw Roman Gabriel, and Ron Jaworski, and Randall, and I even suffered through the Rich Kotite/Bobby Hoying eras. Hell, my most cherished childhood possession was a Harold Carmichael signed ball. Yet even I think that most of my fellow Iggles fans would be insufferable if the Eagles win the Super Bowl.
No longer living in Philly, I see them when they come here, and they’re total assholes here, in an opposing team’s stadium. If the Eagles win it all, we’re looking at Pittsburgh fans with, if it’s possible to believe, LESS class! I’m gonna root for them anyway, but part of my mind actually agrees that it would be a bad thing if they actually won it.
@Dey Call Me Mr. Iggles
Whatever time you spent on that is part of your life you’ll never get back. You spent it poorly.
The problem with an Eagles NFC Champs victory would be the vast majority of their fan base getting a weekend furlough from the State Pen (not to be confused with Penn State). Once they were stomped in the SB, they probably wouldn’t bother to fly back to Philly (I can’t blame them) giving us a nationwide crime wave that we haven’t seen since Hurricane Katrina.
It is also true that, were it not for his time with the Eagles, Brad Childress would never have become head coach of the Vikings and turned that franchise into a three-ring-circus of unedifying cocksuckery. No one associated with this transaction – including me as a fan and therefore accessory-after-the-fact – should be spared judgement’s whip, but I blame the Eagles in particular for siring that monster of ineptitude. Fuck them.
@ManginosStarvingChildren – Well fucking done! That was some Ape-level hate right there.
roast pork from Tony Lukes or Dinics is a head and shoulders better sandwich than the best cheesesteak in the city.
FACT. The slow-roast pork at Tony Luke’s, with provolone and broccoli rabe is the city’s greatest sandwich.
The slow-roast pork at Tony Luke’s, with provolone and broccoli rabe is the city’s greatest sandwich
This, this, one thousand times this. I would eat that sandwich every single day.
Ok so the real hate comes later? Did you add a Vick Knobslob tag to this?
Unsilent Majority says:
January 7th, 2011 at 10:31 am
Eagles fans are about as bad as it gets, but even they aren’t as bad as they are sometimes made out to be on the internet
WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCK!!!??? I’m a Skins fan too…I live in this shit hole of a city, believe me, they don’t get it half as bad as they deserve. This town is the fat little sister of the herpes infested slutbag that is NYC…and everyone here knows it! There’s more interest amongst the fanbase in Philly OF THE fanbase in Philly than the actual teams that represent this armpit of South Jerz. There’s a distinct pride that comes with being poor, stupid and generally unfit that these clowns possess…you doubt this? You say, hey Manayunk is cool, right? There are hot chicks there right? Upscale bistros and microbrews, eh? Fuck you. Those hot chicks in Manayunk in 5 years can be found on South Street at 3:00 in the morning on Tuesdays with their gunts hanging out of their Eagles tank tops and bits of crusted cheese whiz in the corners of their mouths…yeah fuck this town and fuck the Eagles
/wipes the tears from his eyes
//McNabb?! The Eagles beat us in March and we could do nothing to stop them
@Otto: I see someone’s been watching Man v. Food recently. That sandwich looks great, but fuck the Iggles fans who make it.
- Hater #1
This is the least hatery hater’s guide I’ve ever seen. Philly provides us Northeast Corridor sports fans with so much hater material that I partially expected this post to be a giant photo of Rocky with a cheesesteak driven through his heart. What is this “Their fans, while often unfairly maligned,” bullshit? Who unfairly maligns them?
Let’s start with reason to hate them number one: PHILLY FANS ARE RACIST!!!! The moment Michael Vick screws up, Philly fan is going to say, “well that’s what you get when you have a black guy at quarterback. They can’t read defenses.” How do I know this is true? Because I heard Philly fans say that time and time again about Donovan McNabb whenever he threw one in the dirt.
Just watch. Michael Vick will trip over the carcass of one of his murdered dogs, throw a pick to cost the Eagles the game, and Philly fans will scream for Kevin Kolb to come back into the game because he’s more “cerebral.” Fuck Philly. Fuck their racist fans. And most of all, fuck that douchebag Daulerio. I hope the Eagles get trounced by the Pack and that every touchdown scored against them is by a black person who rescued twelve dogs from a pound.
Philadelphia is the “nice” neighborhood of Camden.
@Philly Fans Are Racist
I’m not a racist, dickhead. And not to punch holes in your point, but the Eagles have had black quarterbacks for nearly two entire decades (Cunningham to Peete, then McNabb and Vick), and this myth pops up because McNabb caught a sad. Race is so much less of an issue with McNabb than people who play that card ever want to acknowledge. “Oh, they booed him at the draft because they’re racist.” No, they booed because they wanted Ricky Williams. “They booed him when he threw the ball into the ground because they’re racist.” Whatever. Fact is, Eagles fans had his back when Limbaugh went after him based on race. If you were there, you’d know that’s true. The issues with McNabb go far beyond race, ask a Redskins fan.
Two of the Phillies biggest stars and most beloved players EVER are black. Brian Dawkins is the most popular Eagle of my lifetime. The city loves Allen Iverson to this day for some reason. What you’re saying is complete and utter bullshit. Have you ever heard someone make a racist comment about McNabb? Maybe, and maybe you should reevaluate the people with whom you associate.
I’ve got no problem with hate, when it’s well done. I realize it’s in good fun, even when you call people racist (looking your way, Boston). But you’re coming with some bullshit from a dark place, and for that, a hearty fuck yourself.
I’m actually rooting for the Eagles to win because my one dream (other than a Pats SB victory) is to see Falcons fans throwing dog fetuses at Dogkiller. That would make my century.
@Otto: I see someone’s been watching Man v. Food recently. That sandwich looks great, but fuck the Iggles fans who make it.
Actually, I tend to stay away from the food porn, as it only makes me sad.
I’ve been there a couple times, and have a friend from Philly who brought them up to my place one time. Greatest food delivery in history. It felt like the M*A*S*H episode where they order ribs from back home.
Have you ever heard someone make a racist comment about McNabb?
Sure, but Rush Limbaugh is from Missouri.
Say what you will about Philly fans — and, yes, there’s a lot to say — racism isn’t really one of their defining traits.
@ Philly Fans Are Racist
I think you should be looking to Boston to play the race card if you’re going that way. They don’t seem to embrace ANY of their black star players, certainly not even close to how they suck the CAWK of WELKAH and TAWMMY, et al. They have BJGE, Jerod Mayo, Meriweather, etc., but no, Danny Woodhead is probably their hottest jersey seller now.
I was at the Eagles-VIkings game, by far Mike Vick’s worst performance of the season, and I was just waiting for a chorus of boos….but none came! The non-dickhole, educated Eagles fan (some exist!) knows how special of a player Vick is and that he, more than any other player in recent Eagles history, has almost singlehandedly carried the Eagles to the playoffs, since the defense is a fucking shitfest. During the Vikings game there was no one calling for Kevin Kolb, whatsoever. Besides, in that meaningless Cowgirls game he looked like dogshit.
I didn’t realize that we’d have to submit content for the Hater’s Guide to the Eagles ourselves. That sucks, oh well.
The only reason the fucking Eagles are even where they are is because the Packers fucked up and unleashed Vick by injuring Kolb back in week 1. Most of the good material has already been hit upon above, but fuck that. Their coach is a tard who isn’t going to help them win anything, in fact, it’ll probably be a combo of a Vick screwup made worse due to Reid’s typical ‘clock management skills’ that blows the game on Sunday, and I’ll be laughing when it does.
Fuck the fans, fuck the team, fuck the players, fuck the coaches, fuck the city. In short, as the Saints chick so eloquently put it, fuck the Eagles.
[www.maxim.com] Submitted for your viewing delight.
due respect Otto, they have more love for a fictional boxing hero than for the actual boxing greatness of Joe Frazier.
And, they also have the distinction of being <a href="[en.wikipedia.org]; target="the only city to bomb its own dark people…"
damn link fail…
As a New Jersey Eagles fan, i must protest lumping new jersey eagles fans with the jersey shore NY GIANTS fans. We hate those blown out, coked out, Gym, Skin cancer, Laundry idiots more than you can possibly imagine. If anyone one of those assholes, or their loser clones, came to our shore (south of AC btw) they would get their asses kicked so fucking fast it would make your head spin. In New Jersey there is a clear dividing line and its called princeton, north of it snooki (Jints fans), south of it the bullshit ‘i’m blue collar’ and tough jerkoffs (eagles fans). And i for one am glad i reside in the wanna-be tough camp.
From the midwest…last football season was in Philly and went to the bar on a sunday to watch games. Some kid seriously came up and SPIT on me because I had another team’s jersey on. Classy folks, real classy…
I will keep Yuengling, you can burn the rest of the town down, thanks.
No troll scale?
Of course Philly fans aren’t racist. Philadelphians are racist. They just like the ones that run fast or can dunk.
renig- I wanna keep Water Ice too.
Shit, I’d forgotten about the Frank Rizzo years. Hmmm. Point taken.
Still, they elected Michael Nutter mayor and he is one smart (and funny) motherfucker.
I think we all just got trolled hard. Lofty trolling.
I went to school with a bunch of obnoxious Eagles fans from Delaware, South Jersey, and everywhere but Philly who constantly lauded their team and city for being blue-collar and passionate, despite the fact that they grew up priveleged hours away from the city and probably only went there for games. I was really looking forward to some unbridled hatred for that shit hole city and it’s uppity fans that think they are the benchmark of fandom for god knows what reason. Anyone who’s ever gone to Philly or even drove through the raised section of 95 that passes through the fields of industrial waste and pollution surroundinging that god awful place should be able to write books about it’s suckiness. Vick should be the least of their gripes. Thanks to @ManginosStarvingChildren for laying it out there.
“Unfairly maligned,” my ass. We Fathumps get made fun of for living in a city that’s boring as frozen shit and for being fat just like every other person in this diabetic country. And the Iggles get a handjob session from KSK? Gotta bring that hate, son!
/eats 18 buckets of KFC covered in 88 bowls of gravy in honor of Pey Pey to Harrison
I suspect the REAL hate will surface later today for KC and B’more. Until then, we’ll have to bide our time with discussions about over-priced cheesesteaks and puking South Philly women. Was Ron Mexico really drinking bong water at an airport?
First, props to ManginosStarvingChildren. That was the kind of pure world-class hate that i thought was reserved only for Palestinians, Barack Obama and the Dallas Cowboys. Well done.
However I do have to take exception with this particular post. While it was hardly without its humorous moments, and not entirely lacking in vitriol, you cannot tell me with a straight face that if it was the Cowboys in the playoffs; Ape wouldn’t have elephant shat all over our fanbase and team. Ape would have rammed the cock of ridicule so far up Jerry Jones’ ass that Jerry Jones’ breath would smell like Ape’s cock for a week until the taste of defeat washed it out. And it’s not even like we’re talking about the Seahawks (who are so pathetic it’s hard to hate them) or the Chiefs (who sucked so much ass for the last couple of years that it’s tough to go hard on them). Kansas City is a decent enough city, and Seattle is absolutely pristine. But fucking PHILLY? Cahhm awwwn. Pittsburgh is a shithole, but Philly is a wannabe shithole, which makes it much much worse. People from Pittsburgh know their city sucks lemur taint. But people from Philly (and Vishnu help them if they are from South Philly) are not only obnoxiously belligerent about how great their city is, but they won’t shut the fuck up about how hard they are and how gritty Philadelphians are.
You can tell a lot about a fanbase by the type of team they roll out. Seattle is a bunch of untalented but lucky pricks who stumbled into fortune, the Patriots and Colts are teams with one magnificent leader surrounded by guys who were passed over by other teams and deemed “not good enough” at least once before, and the Bills are a bunch of miserable fucks so terrible that Satan looks at Jesus and says, “Okay now, that’s enough.”
All except for Philly. Philly rolls out what can be argued as the most naturally gifted and freakishly athletic offensive backfield (Jackson/Maclin/McCoy/Vick) yet their fans toss around the word “grit” like Tea Partiers at a Danny Woodhead costume party. It’s sickening and I hate it. I expect better, Ape. You better go Vick-style (like doggy-style, except you beat the girl unconscious when you’re done) on the next playoff team (Bears or Falcons come to mind).
/end rant
People from Pittsburgh know their city sucks lemur taint. But people from Philly (and Vishnu help them if they are from South Philly) are not only obnoxiously belligerent about how great their city is, but they won’t shut the fuck up about how hard they are and how gritty Philadelphians are.
Sir, I live in Pittsburgh. You are 100% full of shit.
@Bednarikrules “I’m actually rooting for the Eagles to win because my one dream (other than a Pats SB victory) is to see Falcons fans throwing dog fetuses at Dogkiller. That would make my century.”
If the Eagles end up playing in Atlanta, 3/4ths of the Falcons shit-for-brains “fanbase” would be wearing Vick jerseys and cheering for that asshole.
/Saints fan
//Starting the Falcons hate early
///In that play60 commercial, Mike Smith and Arthur Blank look like they’re dying to molest those poor kids.
Sounds like somebody’s sucking up to AJ… The Eagles haven’t mattered since Harold Carmichael played for them.
@Fo’shonatas Motiejunas – We Philadelphians refer to ourselves and our teams as many things, but “gritty” isn’t one of them.
@Soy Spartacus – Wilson Goode was the Mayor of Philly when that bombing happened. He’s black. Just sayin’.
@Foshonatas – Like the hate, but it’s misdirected. Ape didn’t write the post, Maj did. And he’s taken enough shit for it.
Maj, you are like our buddy that let a really nasty fart go in our living room while we were watching the game. At first we laughed, then we made fun of you. Then when realized how horrible it stank, we cursed you. Now we can move on to where we can laugh affectionately at the stinkbomb you threw out one day. We still love you Maj!
Philadelphia gave the world the Roots.
The defense rests.
@85: Will you marry me?
Oh, I don’t think Philly’s any more blue-collar-racist than any other Eastern seaboard burgh, really.
My biggest resentment is the vomiting/spitting on children in the stands, the prideful shittiness with which they treat each other, and the parking-lot murder of other teams’ fans. Philly fans “travel” so crassly, crudely and toxically drunk they make Washington and Boston fans wish the New York teams were in town.
@ Fo’shonatas Motiejunas — “Philly rolls out what can be argued as the most naturally gifted and freakishly athletic offensive backfield (Jackson/Maclin/McCoy/Vick) yet their fans toss around the word “grit” like Tea Partiers at a Danny Woodhead costume party.”
You forgot to add the part where they tell everyone what a genius their Weeble Head Coach is. Has any Coach ever been spoon-fed move talented teams and failed as often as Andy Reid? I’m pretty sure Rich Kotite could win a Super Bowl with the offensive talent on the Iggles this year, and, yet, the only reason they’re even in the playoffs is because Michael Vick suddenly pulled his head out of his fresh-from-Oz, size 9 asshole, and started to give a shit. What were the odds of that happening?
Sorry guys dunno why I blasted at Ape instead of Maj apologies to you Ape and may your camels live long, good friend. Maj I’m not really mad so much as I am a little bit disappointed because I know that there is absolutely no hate like Cowboys hate (there isn’t, sorry Pats/Colts fans, there just isn’t) and I suppose that I was hoping you would really pour it on Philly here. This was a great article it just left me wanting, kind of like how Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 was a great game but I couldn’t stop thinking “if they took out Commando and Danger Close this game would be perfect”. Apologies.
@85: Clearly you are biased and I can appreciate that. I love the city of Dallas but when people from out of state visit and say “don’t really see what the big deal is” obviously I react strongly, but I have to respect their opinion nonetheless. Now maybe I visited on the wrong day (for example, going clubbing with a friend in Dupont Circle on Halloween gave me a jaded view of DC), and maybe my friends from NYC/LA/ATL are just yanking my chain, but the consensus appears to be that Pittsburgh is a less-than-ideal place to live (translation: shithole). Feel free to disagree.
@Lionel: Maybe I just have stupid Philly friends. That wouldn’t surprise me. Apologies if I slighted your fanbase inappropriately.
*dismissive wanking motion*
@Otto Man: Philly has produced incredible musical talents, no arguments there.
Really guys I’m just mad because the Cowboys sucked so much ass this year, and because I know that Jerry Jones is going to draft AJ Green instead of one of those corners from LSU or Nebraska. Bear with me.
@NJSeahawksFan – Really? Really, we tout how much of a genius Andy Reid is? What planet do you live on? Reid lovers are the minority. Most Eagles fans want that fat fuck’s head on a pike. Hate is hate, but get your facts straight dude.
I can hate Mike Vick and it comes goddamn easy. And no, it’s not about the dogfighting. It’s because NO ONE WILL SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MIKE VICK. “Omahgaad, Vick makes me cream my man-trousers because he’s so fast and throws the ball so hard and he’s gonna win the super bowl because he’s unstoppable” except those six losses, including two the last two weeks.
Oh I get it, he’s the “X-factor” he’s got “it” he’s just so fuckin amazing GODDAMMIT SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH. Mike Vick is fuckin Brett Favre for guys who bust a load over speed instead of grit. People will make up every goddamn bullshit excuse for every mistake and will feed you loads of fuzzy reasoning why he’s totally perfect and none of it is his fault.
I’ll say it again: MIKE VICK IS BRETT FAVRE.
And I want the Eagles to FUCKIN DIE against the Packers just to shut people’s mouths. “He’s sooo special and talented,” go die in a fire.
@NJSeahawks fan – Reid had been spoon-fed talented teams? You know who’s been holding the spoon? Andy Reid. All of the personnel decisions over the last decade have been him. He’s a terrible in-game coach, but when it comes to assembling talent, he clearly knows what he’s doing. And TH/DeSean Is My Anti-Drug is right, most people in Philly can’t stand the Red Walrus as an actual game coach.
ANdy Reid- Father of the Year?
As another philadelphia-area homer (Delaware – lets go blue hens!) let me weigh in thusly: Unfairly maligned is probably correct.
I went to the Eagles-Cowboys game last year in Philly totally expecting to see people in cowboys jerseys lit on fire, cornered in the parking lot, what have you. Nothing outside of some “asshole, asshole” chants in the upper deck. The monolithic, battery-wielding, boos-at-everything Philly fan has become a stereotype. It exists in the same fantasy Easterbrook/Peter King world where no one who is drafted highly worked that hard and that that citizens somehow superimpose themselves on a team (the Steelers are SO blue collar, just like their fans!)
I’ve never understood the racist accusations either. People got behind Cunningham, and it was a vocal minority who couldn’t stand McNabb. The average Eagles fan could appreciate that he was above-average at worst and a top 5 QB at his best.
What stadium full of people in 2011 doesn’t boo their team when they are consistently playing like ass?
Hmm … I know exactly one Eagles fan who can’t stand Reid, and he lives in LA. Don’t get me wrong, the local yokels round here all make fun of how fat Andy is and what losers his kids are, and the curse him after one of his typical bonehead clock managment fuckups, but they do that to everybody. They’ll be bitching about Cliff Lee after he loses his first game, for crissakes. It’s Philly. That’s what they do.
But when push comes to shove, and you suggest that Reid should be rolled out of town, they all start to defend him. At least, that’s been my experience in Philly. Maybe I’m hanging around with the wrong fucktards …
Living in New Jersey is a death sentence. Living in central Jersey, right under princeton, forces you to live between Eagles fans and Gaitns fans. Nothing could possibly be worse then hearing these people debate whose fans are bigger assholes. (It’s NY by the way). It’s like playing “who’s the worst mass murderer?”
I live in central jersey, on the beach. I know, sounds bad right? well being the only eagles fan in my entire area and living 25 minutes north of seaside heights, lemme tell ya, its not the jersey eagles fans that are the guido jersey shore loving fuck heads who ruined how people view my state. all those fuckers are giants fans, i remember being 15 years old and getting punched in the face at giant stadium by what had to be a 40 year old man….at the end of the game which the giants won.
the giants fans in my area are the least knowledgeable fans i have ever been around in my life. fuck NY, double fuck NY for coming down to my area every summer and me having to relive a jersey shore episode every single fucking day. hate is not the word to describe how i feel about those arrogant piece of shit cum guzzling new yorkers.
also, the eagles have never won a superbowl(and theyve been around for quite some time now), the phillies have the most losses in any sport, hockeys gay, and the basketball mike vicks are putrid at best.
85, I whole heartedly disagree with your view on Pittsburgh. I’m originally from New York City and after going to college in Pittsburgh for four years, I humbly say this town sucks a big, fat, smegma-covered dick. Then again, I am a New York asshole.
As to the Eagles, fuck them, but more importantly fuck the Packers for giving Vick a chance to play. You Philly fans should be hopping on the Flyer’s bandwagon right about now due to Kolb being a Mark Sanchez-esque shit stain, but instead you get to watch the Eagles fuck it up in the playoffs. Fuck that shit.
The lack of hate in this hater’s guide for the Eagles reminds me of the episode of the Simpsons where Flanders freaks out.
Flanders: (quietly) Homer, you are the worst human being I have ever met.
Homer: Hey, I got off pretty easy.
Otto Man says:
January 7th, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Philadelphia gave the world the Roots.
The defense rests.
I love The Roots…but look where they are, playing every fucking night in NYC…Philly’s slightly less shitty neighbor up north. Everytime I think there might be something to like about living in Philly, I open my front door and
am repeatedly disappointed by EVERYTHING THIS CITY HAS TO OFFER. Believe me, the fans here would just as quickly try to convince you they’re as diehard a Flyers town as they are an Eagles town and Phillies town. The only thing people here are truly diehard about is poor english and even poorer hygiene. Seriously, a fatter and more disgusting group of people doesn’t exist anywhere else…maybe Buffalo but Canada can have that one.
I thought people in Buffalo were too poor and homeless to be fat.
@Fo’shonatas Motiejunas & Stuart Scott’s Left Eye
I wasn’t defending Pittsburgh, I was commenting on native Pittsburghers’ view of the city. No one who’s from here thinks it sucks – completely the opposite. I like it, don’t love it, but no one associates their football team with the ethic of the city like Pittsburgh. And no city has it reinforced through the media like Pittsburgh. That’s what Pittsburgh fans like “Pittsburgh football – tough, hard-nosed, run the ball and play defense, Steel Curtain, punch you in the mouth” WANK WANK WANKING MOTION.
But the people here are in love with that shit, quick to point out “So-and-so’s from Crafton” or “So-and-so went to North Allegheny.” Don’t. Care.
Alright, that’s my fault then. I can’t express how much hate I have for the Eagles in funny sentences or even accurately, so I’m just letting it blind my judgement and mess with my reading comp skills.
@ NJSeahawksFan
Yes sir, you are indeed hanging around with the wrong fucktards. Andy Reid defenders?? Eerie.
@Stuart Scott’s Left Eye I should say that Buffalo is more of a bloated city than fat…kinda the same way starving children in Haiti have giant stomachs.
/too soon?
@85 said: “The issues with McNabb go far beyond race, ask a Redskins fan”
Yep, he’s terrible.
Also this town is very racist.
Let’s put it this way: I have a hard time raising anything even approaching hate for anyone but the Patriots and Jaguars, but the Eagles are pretty fuckin’ close.
Wow that is some weak hate on a team that is full of people to hate (or at least hate the way the media builds them up).
You have Vick, who is about to make the only pro bowl he has ever deserved to make. He of course also just happened to previously put dogs to death and was essentially guilty of racketeering.
You have Desean Jackson who is a few IQ points north of legally being retarded. I could go on for a while about him, but really it is almost too easy. Plus, I wouldn’t want him to come and try to “sting my ass.”
You also can’t forget Andy Reid who not only can’t manage a game but can’t manage a family. Of course, that doesn’t stop the media from pumping some BS about how great a help Reid has been to Vick. Then again, it would be somewhat of an accomplishment for Vick to go from killing dogs to being just a drug dealer.
As for the fans, I think everything pretty much has been covered except for their cheering of Irvin’s neck injury. Yeah I am sure that several of you were cheering at home as well, but frankly fuck that. There is not much a fanbase could do that is lower and scummier. I hope their team never wins a Super Bowl and that Eagles fans have to be constantly reminded that the NFC East has 11 Super Bowls and they don’t own a single one.
Fuck! Fuck me for running errands instead of checking KSK first. I’ve been waiting to get my Phillyhate on all week…..and the one day I’m out, NFC 3rd seed posts. Fuck.
/cries real emo Eagles tears; but their nourishment is entirely empty – just like our Superbowl trophy case
//fuck all you batshit-insane, “We love Andy Reid/We’re all racists/We call our players ‘gritty’” cockgobblers. You obviously have never been in town for more than a weekend so get your hate right. Everything 85 says is eleventy-thousand percent true.
///continues crying in the shower like Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction” while the last 1:55 of Superbowl XXXIX plays endlessly in my mind
Philly: America’s Liverpool
@85
Grew up in Eastern PA, went to school at PITT. 100% concur, i met more delusional Steelers/Pirates fans than Phillies/Eagles in the 22 years i lived in PA.
This could also be most of my friends who are now “phillies” fans were Dodger and A’s fans in the late 80s/90s
dalessandro’s and water ice are the two greatest things to happen to this planet.
There’s never been a better representative for the Eagles fan base than Jkallih.
i am thoroughly convinced he is trolling. hes like the fuckin bears superfans with less fake moustache and a deadpan delivery.
“I couldn’t even properly enjoy the Redskins fucking up royally again this year because every time something went wrong, there was some Eagles retard crowing about how McNabb’s struggling justified the decade of batshit, groundless loathing they gave him at every single point in his career. Fuck Philly scum. I hope McNabb and J.D. Drew take turns carpet bombing that shithole.”
Holy shit. Can’t believe it took a goddamn Steelers fan to point that out
This isn’t coming from Jemele Hill here either. I don’t hate Philly fans from afar, I am one. McNabb wasn’t a great player but any person who has rooted in earnest for the Eagles since 2000 and hates McNabb as a player is fucking disgrace. And there are plenty of those
Racism, parking lot fights, classless POSes…you’ll get that at pretty much any large East coast venue. I feel no shame from a bunch of Philly idiots representing those traits. It’s just the amount of self-hate and nego whining…..like fucking Mets/Jets fans, except we have been in the f’ing playoffs every year
You call that hate, that’s all you have to bring to the table?
Check your facts, there is no ‘south joysee’ theres north joysee and jersey, ‘spray cheese’? … really?
Internet tough guys at a lame attempt to provoke those who practice unprovoked violence, really?
Nice try, cute even, best part that came from all this diarrhea is the link to Bill Burr.
- From south jersey, but no longer there. If i had my way you bitches would be pumping my gas.
/me throws some change out the window for your tip
“Why do I hate the Eagles? Where to begin? First off, fuck Vick. In their haste to add Vick to their ever-growing load of QB wangs firmly lodged in their mouth, the media has forgotten the part of the redemption story where Vick was a dog-killing scumbag who shows little to no remorse for it, and they extoll the virtue of “second chances” when we all know the only reason he got a second chance is because he’s a fucking circus-show athlete. The rest of us would still be in jail or begging for the fucking 7-11 to take a chance on us. So fuck him.”
My dog is slow clapping. Well done,sir.
Look at all the Philly douchebags coming out’ve the woodwork- and proving us all correct.
Actually their top receiver is a *soft* dick.
I firmly believe that evolution has not yet taken hold in Pennsylvania.
Wait a minute…aren’t you a Redskins fan? And you’re having trouble hatin’ on the Iggles?
Jesus, marriage has softened you.
Was it hard to type with Vick’s cock in your mouth? You lowlife piece of shit.
Are you kidding? Rehabilitation? The man learned how to give a hang-dog expression in interviews when he’s asked about Bad Newz Kennels. And it’s surprising he knows what hang-dog looks like – I imagine most of his dogs were in a state of near-constant excruciating pain, not bummed out.
The only team that I would even consider rooting for Philly against would be the Waffen SS, and that would be a toss up.
“Their coach is a big old bag of shit.”
I’m crying here