Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOING BOYS?!?!
Your new name is Payton.
This picture makes me so happy!
Best. Post. Ever.
No pussytubing for you tonight Drew! Maybe next time you won’t pick the Greatriots and the great white hope 56-7 over the Jets.
The really great thing about this post is that it could have been posted unaltered if the Patriots had won.
They should have sent…..a poet.
I’m a little turned on right now.
It doesn’t even need a title!
Hate to repost from last thread, but will Nachismo be able to outplay THE BEN and the 12th Man (The Men in stripes)?
Oh, men. MEN. Men, lemme tell you what I just did in the front seat of Belichick’s car.
Is it sad or awesome that this is the greatest football victory in my lifetime?
I love the smell of warpussy in the morning
Oh! Oh! Oh, El Cielo just broke the Jets record for playoff wins! That’s great hustle!
(slaps Sanchez on the ass, hard)
FUCK THE PATRIOTS
HOLMES! Your new nickname is Deja Vu, because I’ll be damned if I didn’t see you make an amazing grab in the end zone once before. Great hustle!
KSK Rex controls the fate of the Jets. NO ONE DENIES THIS!
Hahahahha, all of the Jets-hate from Ape is coming back to get him
“YOU’RE-AHHH SUPPOSED TO GO DOWN WHEN TWO GREATRIOT DAHKIES MCCOVERAGE AND MERIWEATHAH TACKLE YOU, BRAYLON! NO ONE DENIES THIS!”
So glad that Jim Nantz’ favourite team is out of the playoffs. Well done Jets. Now let’s go get some fucking snacks.
Make sure you do a post telling the Jets to rape Roethlisberger for all his raping
The look of a man who KNOWS he’s gonna get one hell of a footjob when he gets home.
God help all you revelers if the Steelers end up winning the Super Bowl because of this.
I’m so in love with Bart Scott right now! CAN’T WAIT!!!!
STILL NAWT OWAH RIVALS
Sweet!! It looked like Tawmmy was under more stress than Rex’s mic belt….
Two more shots to put the Stillas down.
Hey Simmons, I loved the ‘Brady face’ pouting away on the sidelines as the clock ran out. HAHAHAHA!!
How the fuck you doin’, Super Bowl.
Gooooo not the Steelers! Beat the Steelers!
NOT OWAH RIVALS!!!! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)
NOT OWAH RIVALS!!!! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)
NOT OWAH RIVALS!!!! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)
I don’t think I can sleep tonight knowing we’re getting a Tawmey this week
Moonbat: as much as I can’t stand Rape Ape Ben, this is sweeter than anything else
A picture is worth a thousand words. Rex is going to get some sweet feet lovin’ tonight.
From Simmons’ picks column on Friday:
“I want [Danny] Woodhead to drop-kick the extra point when we’re up 34-3″ and “I’m so looking forward to Belichick giving Ryan a completely perfunctory handshake in the middle of the field. Message: You’re just another guy to me. Now get out of my way.” Five months of Rex Ryan bluster has sent Patriots fans into full-fledged “Eff You” Mode. If you told Pats fans, “You could have a 100 percent chance of winning by three, or a 60 percent chance of winning by 50 and a 40 percent chance of losing,” we’d all take the three-point victory … but only after a ton of deliberation…. And now that we have that settled, I hope the Pats win by 40 and Danny Woodhead drop-kicks the last PAT.”
Christ, what a douche. Even as a Giants fan, I’m almost as happy today as I was the night of Super Bowl XLII when “18*-1″ was born. Just incredible. Anybody else notice how empty Gillette Stadium was with about four minutes left, even though the Patriots still had a chance? Patriots fans did not disappoint in fleeing for the exits so early — it was definitely time for them to start thinking about pitchers and catchers reporting in a couple of weeks.
/now that Patriots have been ousted, wonders if FMRA will stick around or go back into hiding until Patriots look like Super Bowl lock again
I’ll take pussytubing and GREAT HUSTLE over the FOOTBAHL RED SAWX FACKING NATION!
NO ONE DENIES THIS!
The Patriots defense can’t stop a nose bleed.
- Bart Scott
Nothing else needs to be said.
When it comes to slayin pussy, eating T bone steaks and talking massive amounts of shit, Rex will out coach the balls right off of you!
Great game! The whole time I was: NAWT OUR RIVALS clap clap clapclapclap.
Oh and fuck the Pats.
Soon Drew will drop the bomb that is the best Tawmy post EVAR. NO ONE DENIES THIS!
You’re all in the AFC East, fuck you regardless.
/Pats matter more, so good on you
Tequila and Puerto Rican hookers for EVERYBODY!
Win so good I going to watch Footlose….on mute!!!!
Also, I am the only person who believed Sal was an inch way from a Rock Bottom and Jabroni phrase?
Simmons’ kids are going to LA public school starting tommorrow after Daddy bet the house on the Pats to cover 9.5.
I’m a Steeler fan but congrats to Rex and the Jets on beating the fucking Patriots!
wow, if my jets win next week- they’ll have shut up the two most obnoxious, self-righteous fanbases in back-to-back weeks on the road. what a great day (finally) to be a Jets fan
Sixth Seed Superbowl.
Go suck some toes tonight fat man, you deserve it
NOW LET’S GO GET SOME FUCKIN FOOT SNACKS!
Wes Welkah sure seems to have put his foot in his mouth there, Tawmee.
BURY YAH SARROWS IN THE MOUTH OF YAH CRACKPIPE DEEAWWN!! YOU FACKIN BALL DRAHPING SEAHAWK REJECT!! THEUH BILL BELICHICK DYNASTY IS OVAH BECAUSE OF YOU!!
I was gonna go get my hate on by reading last year’s “patriots are over article” but I couldn’t find it. Not the Tawwwwmy one but another one that I liked. Did they take it down? Did I make it up in my head? Am I just an idiot?
@miamidiesel; Simmons sounds like he wants an ass DP from Welka and WOOD-HEAD,I hope he did bet the house.
@Gipple Mulva: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2010/01/the-hater%E2%80%99s-guide-to-the-postseason-%E2%80%93-afc-3rd-seed-the-new-england-patriots.html
Fruit by the Foot for one and all!
I’m puttin’ these whole quata finahls in my reah-view.
And there was rejoicing…
Couldn’t have happened to a better (shittier) group of fans. How long has it been since you won a playoff game? Oh yeah, 2007. Assholes.
Ahh, thanks. I didn’t realize “the stick a fork in them” was in the haters guide, I thought it was after the playoff loss. That’s why I only looked in posts after the wildcard round. Obliged.
Also this is why we cant have nice things…..
Possibly if the Pats had kept that ungritty Randy Moss around there might have been a different outcome.
Braylon Edwards and Santonio Holmes-also ungritty.
Wes Welker can take a boot up his gritty ass.
Gritty fumble by Woodhead today.
A reminder of Rex’s pre-game thoughts for his players:
Ryan: Shut up. You tell your boys that Rex Ryan and his men aren’t gonna lay down so easy this time. You think you have this game in the bag. You think we’re talking shit because we’re afraid. Because we got beat good the last team we were at your little Klan rally of a stadium. But we’re not afraid of you. We’ll never be afraid of you weaselly little sacks of dogshit. EVER. The reason we like to talk shit about you is because we HATE you. We truly hate you, and we want to inflict great harm upon you. We want to hurt you, and make you bleed, and cause your families to worry about you when you’re lying there on the turf wriggling around like a little bitch. That’s why we’re talking shit, young man. It’s not a pose. It’s real evil in our hearts. It’s a real desire to do bad things to you, and to do them repeatedly. Maybe you’ll win on Sunday. Everyone says you will. Maybe so. But I promise you: We will make it fucking HURT. Badly.
Since ’05, Peyton is 6-5 in the postseason, Brady is 5-5.
@miamidiesel: Oh, there’s more goodness from that Simmons column:
PATRIOTS (-8.5) over Jets
Key Player: I keep thinking of Bill Belichick going into his office last Sunday, popping in that Colts-Jets tape, watching Mark Sanchez’s passes sailing away like helium balloons at a 5-year-old’s birthday party, then thinking to himself, Should I just start scouting Pittsburgh and Baltimore now?
In retrospect, I knew I should have gone with my gut and picked the Jets. All the signs were there; I just couldn’t bring myself to pick against the Pats.
REX RYAN, YOU MAGNIFICENT FAT BASTARD!!
“Brady doesn’t study like Manning, but he’s pretty good” -Rexy
I don’t give a shit about the real-life Jets, but fuck it. I’m thrilled anyway.
That picture needs some theme music
yep, that works
I desperately want a bears jets superbowl.
@ Big Daddy Rex
“they’ll have shut up the two most obnoxious, self-righteous fanbases in back-to-back weeks on the road”
Pretty sure they’ve already done that, now they’re going for the trifecta.
“I love my coach. Let me tell you something: I would die for that man.”
They advertizing this: Mike & Molly – CBS Sitcom, does it take place in Indy or Rex’s basement? Just curious….
Man… Jeteyes made me dig this out, and I’m a frigging Bills fan!
/irrationally happy right now
+1 for George C. Scott!
You forgot, “This would have never happened if Bill Belichick was still alive. I told you previously that he had lost it. Oh, and Teen Wolf.”
How the fuck you doing, Arlington?
“THEY DON’T HAVE A PRAYER”
“I’m already dreading Monday’s New York Post with Welker’s picture and “FOOT IN MOUTH” as the headline. Did I just jinx it from happening? Please tell me I did.”
No. No, you didn’t.
If understand your corrupt syntax, that is.
I think you’re saying you hoped to stop this Post front page happening by proposing its existence?
Then, no. No, you didn’t.
What. A. Fucking. Assclown.
George C. Scott as Patton:
“I desperately want a bears jets superbowl.
I desperately want a sara stone jelena jensen superblow.
Steelers v. Packers.
What a goddamn motherfucking asskicking.
Every Pats fan can eat a big fat dick. Let’s hear the excuses.
I’d just like to say thanks to KSK for the Rex Ryan posts. Also, fuck the Pats. This is a magnificent fucking day. Mag-fucking-nificent,
Apparently, Patriots are pretty quiet on the field, too.
Let’s hear the excuses.
“Oh dey gonna makes excuses. BULLEE DAT. Dey goin make ‘scuses like it wuz dat old redneck qwataback out deya, jes habin fun. Pacman don’t care. He not down wid it. Pacman gonna drank. Oh hell yes he gonna drank.
“I’m making a pussytail (Only white people call it ” cocktail”) of Patriot tears, Crunk and Thunderbird”
As a Bills fan, I was really just hoping that the Hand of God would reach down and smite both of these teams, along with their fans, the media, and the vendors (except the hotdog guys).
However, I was (by comparison) rooting for the Jets, and it made me feel strange and dirty.
Also: NY Football Mets asshats: it was not an ‘epic asskicking’ or anything of the sort. Jets nearly gave it away, and eked out a one-score victory. Take a note from Seahawks Fan: savor the victory, but don’t be shocked when your own personal Grim Reaper comes knocking on the door next weekend.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Showering myself with Greatriot schadenfreude.
Shut the fuck up Mayhem, the Pats got smacked. The game was never really in doubt after Holmes’ TD. Keep hoping for Andrew Luck.
I know our QB sucks…
I know our defense is overrated…
I know Rex’s motivation can only go so far…
But with that said, FUCK YOU DREAMBOAT SUCK MY HAIRY FUCKING BALLS
//just won our Super Bowl
///Rex 4 Life
Electric Mayhem, respectfully disagree. That was an ass kicking. One garbage time Deion Branch touchdown does not make it competitive.
Bart Scott should be promoted to Jets media liaison.
Think, if it’s Steelers/Bears for the title, it’ll be the two worst O-lines in the league squaring off.
Although this post tickles me, no image only post will ever tickle me like that time the Cowboys blew a 10 point lead, lost late in the 4th on a pick six, and Drew simply posed Angry Jerry. It gets no better. The sad part is I can’t use the search tool to find that post because it didn’t include any words.
@ Lawrence: You’ll have to be more specific. Which of the MANY Cowboys losses are we talking about?
HAHA, this is great! First the Saints lost, so all the asshole fans in Dallas shut the fuck up; then the Eagles lost, so all my asshole Philly friends shut the fuck up, then the Colts lost, so Manningface all around – I didn’t think the division round could possibly deliver.
But oh my, did it ever. Atlanta got the ever-loving shit beaten out of them by GB, Flacco played like congealed elephant cum to give the Steelers the W and silence any fucktard that was putting him in the “elite” tier of QBs. Then Chicago stomps Seattle in the nuts, proving that the Saints really were that overrated; and then to top it all fucking off the Jets drop the most incredible deuce on the Patriots in the most classless and hooliganistic manner possible.
Good luck and godspeed, KSK community; for tonight we all celebrate like kings.
/opens a beer, starts playing Call of Duty
Whatever game this corresponds to.
Kind of fun stat:
New England Patriots regular season wins, 08-10: 35
Seattle Seahawks regular season wins, 08-10: 16
New England Patriots playoff wins, 08-10: 0
Seattle Seahawks playoff wins, 08-10: 1
Oh man I can’t wait for this week’s motivational speech from Rex. I think it may be time to break Ol’ Hickory back out.
That second half was definitely slapdick football.
“THAT DEFENSE COULDN’T STOP A NOSEBLEED”
Hey Nacho, your new name is Sangra la Nariz, cause the patriots defense can’t stop you.
Hmm, Simmons’ Tweeter has been conspicuously silent…
Honest to God: My wife, who knows little about football, saw a shot of Belicheck on the sidelines, in full scowl & sleevless hoodie combo, turned to me, and said “Is he mentally ill?”
The only thing even close to a Colts playoff win in my book is a Patriots playoff loss. The next best thing is a Steelers playoff loss. Then a Chargers playoff loss. Then a Ravens playoff loss.
Consequently, I’m rooting for the Jets next week, and the Packers after that, because I’ll be damned if I’m gonna listen to all the retarded ass Bears fans talk shit for two weeks.
Bradyface. I’m loving this
Yinzers vs Guidos, who wants it more? Who likes the taste of cock more? Which group of mongoloids is more intelligent?
I heard this on the Dan Patrick show this morning.
“If that Patriots play the Jets 10 times, they win 9 times out of ten.”
Haven’t the Jets beaten the Pats 3 out of the last 5? Guess that assclown was wrong. Even Dan Patrick cut him off and told him to start looking for a new job.
That is a picture of a joyous man coaching a joyous team.
/looks at Steeler’s AFC Champ game record at home
//no longer laughing at the Ratbirds and Cheatriots
Monkey business, you’re living in chicago and you’re mad people talk about the bears?
Join the discussion. Sign Up or Sign In