I’ve never understood why people keep coming back to websites they don’t like. Most people won’t finish a book they don’t enjoy, but they’ll go back to Internet writing that they hate time and time again. Drew reads Bill Simmons time and time and again, and the only thing he gets from Simmons is higher blood pressure and material for Tommy from Quinzee. Unsilent Majority reads The Big Lead just to explore the depths of stupidity. I don’t have that kind of time to waste.
And that’s why I’m continually frustrated by this not-uncommon refrain in the comments of any blog:
Commenter: This blog is a piece of shit.
Blogger: YOU’RE a piece of shit, you piece of shit.
Commenter: Whoa! Why so sensitive?
They’re like, “Hey, all I did was insult you and call your work shitty. What’s the problem?” But if I walked into an office and started heckling people about their Microsoft Excel skills, I would rightly be escorted from the building. I’m well aware that I’ve been guilty of this many times in the past, but people are REALLY nonchalant about being assholes on the Internet. (And yes, I realize that we at KSK are frequently cruel, but we do it to famous people or groups of stereotypes with the intent of making people laugh.)
Anyway, earlier this week, someone tweeted at Uproxx — my employers — that I should be fired from Warming Glow because I “only write 2-3 posts per day” and that I mail those in. The mailing-things-in statement is arguable, but I definitely write 7-8 posts per day. I’m fine with insults, but telling lies to my boss in an attempt to get me fired is, in my opinion, over the line.
So I took this person’s Twitter handle, Googled his name, found him on LinkedIN, and then I called him at work. I was not at my friendliest. At first he told me that stuff like what he wrote “comes with the territory” of working online, and then I told him that so does getting called by angry bloggers when you tweet from an easily tracked-down Twitter handle. After a little huffing and puffing — “I don’t call your boss and tell him you’re masturbating at work” — we ended up speaking like adults and reaching an agreement of what is and is not fair criticism. It was nice. It felt good to deflate some Internet bullshit with actual human interaction.
With that out of the way: The Sean Taylor Memorial Meast for Week 9 is Jacoby Ford.
He totaled 148 yards on six catches — each one of them for a first down, and the last two set up the game-tying and game-winning field goals. Oh, and there was the little matter of a 94-yard kickoff return for a TD while the offense was struggling in the Raiders’ biggest game since the Super Bowl eight years ago. And all of that on a fraction of Darrius Heyward-Bey’s salary.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is Chad Ochocinco, who is the Jeff George Memorial Least of the Week. He was held without a catch until the final drive in the Bengals’ Monday night loss, but what really sealed his Leastiness was his gigantic helping of Bitchface. Stop blaming Carson Palmer and get open, asshole.
I want more like this!
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