Um, is there anyone who HASN’T seen Rex Ryan sweat? I’m pretty sure the Jets’ Thanksgiving turkey will be served with oyster stuffing and Rex’s sweat gravy.
Earlier this week a reader emailed us about a series of motivational speeches by current and former football coaches currently being hawked on the NFL Network. I immediately wondered who exactly could benefit from using this product (“YEEEEARGH, NOW LET’s GET OUT THERE AND SELL SOME FREAKING KIAS”) and, more importantly, how I could best stretch it into a KSK post. Then I stumbled upon the latest gift from the rapidly-becoming-ubiquitous DJ Steve Porter:
All Rex wants is everything you’ve got, starting with your Ring Dings.
Good luck getting Sean Payton’s screech out of your head this afternoon. Today’s late games:
KC @ DEN **
DAL @ NYG **
SEA @ ARI *
STL @ SF *
[ thx to Sergio for the tip; video via Pigskinlovinglady ]
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Having the bye last week was nice. Now, I probably get to watch my Broncos get beat by the Chefs at home.
I hope McD gets another year or two to assemble pieces/place Doom in a sealed vault once he’s healthy.
You never see true love on TV like when Joe Buck watches Troy Aikman talk.
Horse Balls is pretending he’s a real NFL QB early
What were the chances that Duke Calhoun would turn out to be a black dude?
Anyone else use CBS for their fantasy? My scores have been frozen for the last 20 minutes.
Looks like Rexy will be looking for a new kicker on Monday.
Come on, Giants – +15 or GTFO
The Garrett Era opens up with a swing pass to Felix Jones! Love it!
@Ewok Jihad
Me too. Usually refreshing does the trick, but not this time. Hmmm…
Garretts genius is at work.
@K-Mart
I think what you’re noticing is a distinct lack of Wade.
tying is like kissing your twin brother
Allow me to state my happiness that we got Orton instead of Cassel for Cutlerfucker.
Geez, Terence Newman is even getting outrun on his way to the locker room…
Donovan mcnabb is excited to watch the 2nd ot in the jets game
The Chiefs were just called the Cleveland Browns…sadly, they are currently looking worse than the Browns.
HOLY SHIT DENVER LOOKS GREAT
aww, I don’t like when either Ryan brother is sad…
Dez is my homeboy.
hahahahahahahahaha inoperable replay system
Figures that even the replay system adds to the home cooking
coach Garret fixing to take his first full step into replacing Wade.
Let the challenges begin!
Thats what happens when you play for a tie cleveland
@TheOnlyChiefsFan
All it did was save you a time out. It was a catch anyway.
Day. Um. Kyle Orton is killing the Chiefs.
Jason Garrett for president? Really Troy? I guess his backup duties involved more than just carting around a clipboard.
Man Garret is 1-0 in challenges.
He even throws the challenge flag like back then when he backed up Troy.
Buehler DIE
Well on the one hand, Denver has absolutely knocked us in the chops, but thankfully the Donkeys has been sporadic this year so we aren’t out of it yet.
If Denver wins this game, the entire division is separated by two games. Bet the Chiefs are regretting the epic choke job against DARAIDUZZZZZ last week.
Wide right.
Charile Weis is a fucking genius.
man this team has some fun in them.
having to root for the cowboys today makes me hate the giants that much more.
Kitna……….Fuck.
That Cowboys kick off is just so fitting.
Buehler sure can bench though!
I’m surprised at how much I dislike Jason Garrett as a person, despite not caring about the Cowboys and having never actually seen him speak or coach.
KSK has done yeoman’s work.
Ahmad Bradshaw: SUPERHANDS
You can’t be telling me the Cowboys’ secondary is actually defending.
Someone must have promised Orton whiskey if he beats the Chiefs today
God damn it Will Beatty…
I don’t know why the refs don’t just give Kansas City 14 points to make this interesting. How dare a defensive player try to hit a receiver trying to catch a ball.
Orton’s earning his whiskey. I’m in a state of shock. Passed on tickets expecting the next phase in the Mile HIgh bed-shitting trend. 28-0? Crazy.
I stand corrected. Holy fuck, Eli. Really??!?!?
Holy shit!
Oh dear, Cowboys.
Mooooooooooom why’d he stop running the slant!!!
make that 35-0……My Broncos?!?
Eli’s going to need a pep talk from Moishe at halftime.
And McCan goes all the way to the Giants asshole and delivers.
Figures the week that all my fantasy players except for my QB and D were in the early game, since all the damn touchdowns are coming in the evening games. Man.
Brandon Jacobs has been a great TD vulture all season Gilbride. Why wouldn’t you dial a run up there?
i demand a sideline interview with Haley.
hahahahahaha
why why WHY is Kitna not getting picked off left and right this week? Damn you Garrett!
from now on, I will bet on the really bad team in the KC-Denver matchup. two games is a trend.
Mr. Nice, behold the power of the swing pass.
14-19, 203 yards, 3 TD, 0 INT in the first half. Man, I miss Cutler. McD should be fired.
/being a fucking moron
If that isn’t pass interference, I don’t know what is.
Coughlin goes for the TD here, right? Right?
subo, Gaffney pushed off to start that play when he lost the ball. it’s a good no call.
Cutler, Freeman, and Gerrard are the highlight players of the early games, Fox?
Kill me now
Eddie, I feel like that was within five yards, but I can’t pretend to be objective here.
For fuck’s sake, Chiefs.
Swiiiiiiiiiiing pass!
Wait, THAT was the hit that put Pennington out? Wow.
Dallas winning, Denver looking damn good against KC, Seattle winning. It’s like everything I knew about the world is wrong.
Whose got two thumbs and started Eli over Orton this week? THIS GUY.
After that half I am DEFINITELY not drunk enough for the third quarter of the Giants game.
@ Tracer Bullet: Join the club. The agonizing, infuriating club.
Eli still gets another half against McCann and company though, it may not end up being a horrible non-move
Has Orton not been, at the very least, a fantasy monster this year? I am the only white man in America that doesn’t play fantasy football.
subo, i don’t either.
@ Subo: Mostly yeah, but with Elisha playing the Cowgirls and Orton against a fairly decent Chiefs D, Manning seemed like the better call. But THAT’S WHY THEY PLAY THE GAMES!
Whitehurst sighting!
Lofty, Hasselbeck can’t play 1 damn game without getting injured?
Elisha thinks Pey Pey would give him noogies if he made Pey Pey look bad by SCORING MORE THAN SEVEN FUCKING FF POINTS! Or something like that.
Pam Oliver looks like a freshly-released hostage.
It’s a real shame it took us an off week and a 2-6 start to learn how to run the ball.
I assume the lights going out are some part of Garrett’s elaborate plan.
“Now they won’t be able to see our swing passes! Garrett, you’re a genius!!’
TEBOW!!!!!
See? I told you
I think the Giants might as well turn off the other half of the lights.
Garrett just wanted some romantic mood lighting before he fucked Coughlin there.
…they are seriously swing passing their way to success.
/Life imitates KSK
Swing pass to Felix! A play like that could only be drawn up by a Princeton man.
Dandy Don is warmin’ up … with delicious whiskey.
The Star-Ledger is reporting that Gov. Christie turned off the stadium lights to save money.
Tebow will be the story of this game, because no one that covers football knows a thing about it.
We would have been so much better with Dumervil.
So how many more jerseys will Tebow sell now that he’s actually thrown a pass (and for a TD no less)?
Stadium Fail?
if he can get his hands on a dozen more filipino foreskins, god will let him throw it outside of the redzone.
Orton has to stop at the goal line for whiskey because he’s sobered up too much being out on the field
Nerd – God will decide. He decides everything.
If they call that a catch, I’m calling fix.
Definite Stadium fail. I’m thinking someone didn’t pay the proper protection money to the “electric company”.
well at least they switched me to the rams vs niners
NFC West fever- Catch it! And then die…
only steelers’ fans who don’t complain about calls are allowed to complain about calls on KSK.
God is so fed up with the Giants he decided no one should have to watch their implosion
I want whatever Stephen Jackson is on!
/opens another beer
//slathers bbq sauce on another rib
Eat a bag of shit, Haley. Does Thomas Jones have photos of you doing awful things?
Did all the lights go out at that toilet bowl?
[www.youtube.com]
Kyle Orton’s pregame ritual.
No we can’t smell it you idiot
Um, KC turned it over on downs at the DEN one yard line. Anyone heard from Otto Man? Maybe a blast from the past as a pick me up.
[www.youtube.com]
Derek Anderson is trying desperately to get fired.
Who needs Hillis when we have Larsen?
Well that was pretty fast.
Drew Bledsoe could’ve run through that hole.
MY OLD MAN KITNA IS A GOTDAMM STAR!!
You know, watching an NFL game on a giant HDTV without all of the regular graphics cluttering up the screen is damn nice.
Miami is bringing in JaFatass for a workout tomorrow. Not making this up.
Please, Football Gods, protect Tyler Thigpen.
Garret has taken a GIANT dump inside the toilet bowl called Meadowlands Stadium. HAHAHA
K-Mart, the Chiefs did the same. but forgot to take their pants off first.
That was a catch. Good challenge.
don’t think they’ll find an angle showing full control of the ball, given that he had to pull it into his chest out of bounds.
And the Giants just cleaned up some of that poo.
Poop.
Yes. Quality challenge by McD.
there was not indisputable proof of possession before his toes touched.
Apparently there was
[www.sportingnews.com]
Oh, bother bother bother.
i disagree. i’m aware that the ball was in his hands but i didn’t see actual possession of the ball. perhaps the ref did. doesn’t make a difference, i’m just surprised to see what looked disputable go to the challenger.
@ Henne
Well… at least there’s no more QB controversy?
Did they say what those bumps on the side of Jacobs’s helmet are?
Some epic manningface out here.
Haha. Broncos and Cowboys fans have come out of hiding for the day.
@Nerd
Well, Sparano says he doesn’t know who his quarterback is going to be next week, which probably does wonders for Thigpen’s confidence.
I wonder if the guys writing about how McD was toast will recant.
/wishful thinking
//sportswriters are hacks
Gregg Easterbrook just stroked out
Yeah run it there Garret. Always gotta run it when the defense is stopping every running play.
@ Henne
Oh that’s probably just because he doesn’t know who the fuck Thigpen is.
How do you fucking drop that, McBath?
Um, KC turned it over on downs at the DEN one yard line. Anyone heard from Otto Man?
That was shortly before I volunteered to go pickup dinner.
I knew trading for Thomas Jones was going to fuck me twice in the pants. Goddammit.
Gonna laugh my ass off if the Giants come back here.
Glad you’re not in the emergency room Otto Man. Have a Snickers after dinner, bro.
Hey Haley, get off of the fucking field.
WHAT THE FUCK??? WOODYARD IS CARRYING THE BALL!
And the Garret 3-4 Defense Holds.
today i learned that you have to have 4 men outside the hashmark on the kicker’s side.
Wad laughs at Coughlins challenge.
Haha, he says.
How on earth are you not double covering the only receiver worth anything on the Cowboys?
That boy good.
PUNTER NOBILITY
Rams really lack all desire to be over .500. They’re like a kid who pussies out on the high-dive.
FOX has really been getting their money’s worth out of the downbeat piano injury football theme.
There’s the Kitna we all know and mock
Gotta become a defender there Dez. Fuck.
That was an Irvinesque pushoff.
Andre Johnson gets away with that all the time. Chambers is not Andre Johnson.
Hoooo boy
Dammit! I needed that Nicks TD.
so does this mean all of Dallas’s games the rest of the year will be flexed to primetime?
It’s nice to see that the Giants are in peak 2009 season form.
/Hangs self
Citizen just bumped all the Eli ads for Paula Creamer
ESPN tomorrow: CAN DALLAS RUN THE TABLE????
I thought Denver’s season highlight would be against Seattle. I was wrong.
Let it be know on this day that David Buehler does in fact Suck Balls.
I bet Nick Folk sure looks good to the Cowboys right now.
floatfloatfloat
I have Bowe and White both sitting on my bench this week. Goddamnit.
AND ELISHA SHITS THE BED
BALL OF REDEMPTION.
HIT HIM RIGHT IN THE BALL!
Gentlemen, to the eating club of victory!
Princeton Bitch!
thunderdump says: Citizen just bumped all the Eli ads for Paula Creamer
I’m for it.
I’m not going to say i’m proud of these bastards.
But, that’ll do pig, that’ll do.
There’s still time for a Kitna fumble! THERE’S STILL TIME THERE’S STILL TIME!
Marion. That’ll do.
Buck, ” Jason Garret is 1-1.”
Yes, in only his first game he has one win and one loss.
Pam Oliver could crush MY PRINCETON BOY!!
Also, Garrettop is 44? Fuck I’m old.
[images.cheezburger.com]
You still have to shake his hand even if he is a whiny little bitch. Don’t you know shit about coaching man law? You fucktard Haley.
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