Okay, maybe the 1970’s weren’t as awesome as this picture would lead us to believe. It wasn’t all pull tabs, shag carpet, sideburns and shapely brunettes. There was also a crappy economy, rampant unemployment, and an ineffective one-term Democrat in the White House– concepts that are completely alien to us today. Another forgotten aspect of that bygone era was the brief marriage between malt liquor and board games.

Colt .45’s marketing strategies have shifted over the decades. Based on personal observations, their current approach is to trumpet their wares on tattered billboards in areas of town I venture to only rarely, and never after dark. But according to a web page I found, Bottom’s Up was an “adult board game” that was produced by the makers of Colt .45 to promote the responsible enjoyment and overall sexiness of their fine beverage. Among the cards that could be drawn by Bottom’s Up players:

  • “Smoke two cigarettes simultaneously.” (doesn’t explicitly say menthols, but since this is a Colt 45 board game, it’s sort of implied)
  • “Obey any wish or request of the player on your right.” (how Spiro Agnew became VP)
  • Do a Jack Benny imitation for 30 seconds.” (Who would be the 21st century version of Jack Benny? Ryan Reynolds? George Lopez? Also, who’s Jack Benny?)
  • Thank you, NFL, for evening out the number of early and late games this week, thus keeping the RedZone channel from being intolerably dull later this afternoon.

    The late games:

    KC @ SEA **
    MIA @ OAK **
    PHI @ CHI ***
    TB @ BAL ***
    STL @ DEN *

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