Not pictured: The three pounds of grit Mr. Literal slathered on his face.

The Lions have lost six straight on Thanksgiving, by an average margin of slightly more than 23 points. The least embarrassing of the six was a 37-26 defeat to the Packers in 2007, which was only even that close because Detroit scored two garbage time touchdowns in the fourth quarter. That’s a trend unlikely to change this year as the Greatriots are the opponent selected to wipe the floor with the home team at Ford Field. But hey, the Lions almost – probably should have – beat the Jets there a few weeks ago.

So, c’mon, let’s go parity! This is the year no one is supposed to look dominant. Let’s instill some doubt. Maybe a Lions victory might be too much to ask for, but at least have the game be competitive into the second half. We have relatives to ignore, dammit.

And I’m not sure I’m ready to to accept the new nattily dressed Bill Belichick we saw last week. Has he been cast to star in CBS’s reboot of Columbo?