Always Be Covering: Dropping Pounds
11.05.10
Last Week: 8-5
Overall: 58-55-4*
*I missed a couple of weeks because of the wedding/honeymoon, so I’m including the results of my picks pool (15-13) during that time. For what it’s worth, I use the same picks for both endeavors.
OK, I’m back in the full swing of things after a few hectic weeks. The bad news is that I started a pretty intense diet on Sunday, so unlike the surprisingly svelte bulldog above I am unable to belly up to the bar any time soon. Now most people would spend the two months prior to their wedding on this kind of diet, but I’m an idiot. On the bright side, now people won’t look at my wedding picture and and comment on how I’ve really let myself go. Hopefully.
The diet means no alcohol of any kind, or any of my other favorite complex carbohydrates. I’ve lost like seven pounds this week alone, which is probably a bit drastic, but my belt no longer fits, so I care not. So far the hardest parts have been sitting through Redskins and Wizards games sober. If I can pull that off, Thanksgiving should be doable.
/eats oyster stuffing by the handful
On to the picks.
New Orleans -6.5 at Carolina
I don’t expect to win this one, I just can’t bring myself to pick Carolina. God, why do the Saints have to suck?
Arizona +8 at Minnesota
I hate to agree with Rolf, but it’s true. The Vikings are 2-5 against the spread, and Jews control the media.
San Diego at Houston +3
Houston has been struggling, but they’re getting points, they’re at home, and San Diego will figure out some way to fuck it up in the end. And hey, maybe this is the week Antonio Gates loses a limb.
Chicago at Buffalo +3
I think so little of Jay Cutler that I’m actually taking the Bills. The FUCKING BILLS. Jesus, if the Redskins even give serious thought to trading for that shitheel I’m going to…well I’m going to do what I do every year. Bitch about the Redskins ineptitude and pray that they don’t ruin too many of my Sunday afternoons.
Tampa Bay at Atlanta -8.5
That’s a lot of points to cover against a pretty good Tampa Bay team. Nothing Roddy White can’t take care of.
New York Jets at Detroit +4
The Lions are getting a lot of love, and there’s good reason for it. Stafford is healthy, Megatron is a fucking animal, and Ndamukong Suh is dominating people. More importantly, they’re 6-1 against the spread, and they’re still getting more than a field goal at home against an offense that was shut out
week. The Jets will bounce back, but the Lions will stay competitive.
Miami at Baltimore -5
The Ravens are coming off of their bye, and Miami hasn’t beaten an above average team. Unless you count Pittsburgh.
New England -5 at Cleveland
The Browns will win a couple more games this season. This won’t be one of them.
New York Giants -7 at Seattle
The Giants did an incredible job drafting their wide receivers. That really pisses me off.
Kansas City +3 at Oakland
I’m pretty excited for this matchup, and I’m fairly certain that hasn’t been the case the last 20 times these teams have faced off. The best thing about a Redskins bye week is watching games like this on the RedZone channel. It’s a nice break from the stress of being a fan.
Indianapolis +3 at Philadelphia
There is no good outcome here.
Dallas at Green Bay -8
But I can always enjoy another Cowboys loss, even if it means enduring another one of their primetime games. It can’t be much worse than this year’s Treehouse of Horrors, right?
Pittsburgh -5 at Cincinnati
This is the Monday night game? Come on, NFL, you knew the Bengals would go right back to sucking this year. How could you not?
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Why would you diet at this time of year? Holidays, football, nachos, beer, turkey… I fully intend on dieting after the football season, just doesn’t make sense before then.
What’s the diet? As a Dolphins fan, my month off from drinking stopped after Big Ben’s fumble was never recovered, but I’m looking to get back on it as part of a fall diet.
/counts Pittsburgh as a win
//orders double shot
Charlie Whitehurst’s first career start + shitty Seattle O-line + Giants’ murderous D-line = bet your paycheck The 12th man can’t make up for something that one-sided.
Let yourself go after marriage is the best thing about marriage, this only applies to the men. Don’t even think about it ladies.
NYG -7 = easiest pick on the board.
Arenas is older and there are 7 whole minutes a game where John Wall is not playing. No one should be forced to endure that kind of sadness without alcohol.
/Spurs fan and not really sure why
//Also a Dolphins fan, I drink like scotch has the antidote to a lackluster offense
how about over/under on how many points the Sea Hawks, Huskies, and Cougars get scored on this weekend?
100?
Great news Maj, alcohol, in the form of distilled spirits, is OK on a low carb diet. Rum, Vodka, Whiskey, Gin and Purple Drank are all OK. (I made up the part about purple drank).
“how about over/under on how many points the Sea Hawks, Huskies, and Cougars get scored on this weekend?
100?”
OVER. OVER OVER OVER OVER. OVER. Hell, you could give me any two of those and I’d probably still take the over. 150 is a lot better.
the Oregon game isn’t going to be pretty for the dogs…
/masochist
Fuck, I have a wedding to go to Sunday afternoon and I’ve got to be somewhat sober and presentable for it …. yet I got the Seahawks game to watch beforehand.
Looks like I am going to be thrown out of a beach wedding.
As a dolphins fan, it is hard to take a shot with this belt around my neck.
I’m a bit nervous about the Giants game (mainly because I have over $500 on the Big Blue Wrecking Crew – Carl would be so proud – but I digress…). They set the spread at -7, pulled the game off the boards when it was announced that Hasselbeck wasn’t going to play, and then put it back on again at -7 again a number of hours later. If they weren’t going to change the spread why did they pull it off the board?
Anyhow, I fully expect to see Seattle’s backup carted off on a stretcher, drooling and twitching, by sometime midway through the first quarter.
Chicken breasts and vodka. Works every time. You get something that is fairly edible as you can dress it up innumerable ways and still have it be virtually fat free with few calories and lots of protein and you still get to drink. That diet, while not necessarily especially good for you, will take the pounds off and you can still get looped. Good times.
Devin Thomas and Malcolm Kelly > Nicks, Smiff, and Manningham
Vinny fucking Cerrato, bitch!
wow, even Jackie Christie is impressed by the former Ms. Schorno’s ability to (pussy)whip her man into shape.
Not quite, pepe.
@SnowWhite @DoctorChim: I know you Washingtonians are depressed (and with good reason), but I like the Cougs getting 14.5 against Cal (who plays like shit on the road)…oh wait, this is an NFL-only site. Favre has a small penis.
dude i’m working in iraq. alcohol isnt allowed on base. not saying it isnt available but its not supposed to be. been here just over 2 months. down 15 pounds. i feel your pain. but like the gays say, it gets better.
i’m gonna be attractive to both women AND men when i get back home.
/what? not saying i like it, its just flattering.
/you can look fellas just dont touch
I would change the Oakland pick. not gonna be that close. Oak at home with major momentum and a chance to go up on the whole division
/raider fan
//also needs ot diet. let me know how it works out UM
/looks to see who the hawks’ third string is
/Seahawks have no 3rd string worth anything
//we’re fucked
///someone call Seneca Wallace back
@ Unsilent Majority
just ribbin you. glad to hear you’re prioritizing your health.
(oops, did I mention ribs? sorry).
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Suzy you look good the way you are , don’t worry about your weight,and drink if you want to.I suggest Mojitas.Also I don’t like Dallas either,an Eagle fan all the way.
John Bennett = Red Shirt Guy?
Giants receivers? Stick with Wolverines. From Amaini “Toes” Toomer to Manningham (a steal).
I lost 50 in seven months by moderate exercise and switching from the Italian place a block away three times a week to veggies and fruit for lunches, no other changes. Still vodkaing into the night.
Vikings will cover by taking out a shitload of frustration on a QB-less patsy.
I was able to lose 110 pounds and was able to continue drinking as much alcohol as I wanted to. You just have to give up food.
As a Aussie I’m insulted that the rest of the world thinks Fosters is Australian for beer. We export that crap and keep the good stuff for ourselves.
Is that Tony Romo in the background ?
Bacardi superior + diet coke = zero calories and zero carbs. I lost 85 pounds drankin that stuff
That dude in the background is drinking Corona. MY BOY ROMO IS NOT THAT GAY!
Waldo, Bacardi Superior definitely has calories. It is rum. Rum is made out of sugar.
All alcohol has calories. A shot of alcohol (~30g) has around 70 calories and that’s for plain 80 proof alcohol like vodka, rum, gin and whiskey. When you go to a higher proof or a sugary alcohol the calorie count can shoot way up. Baileys has about 120 calories and 4g of fat per shot.
Joel Monaghan thinks this was the best sexy friday ever.
Actually, you can eat complex carbs (brown rice, yams, black beans, steel-cut oats) and lose weight. It’s the simple carbs (beer, potatoes, white rice, bagels) you want to avoid. Always eat them with a protein and never eat them within five hours of bedtime. I went from 226 three years ago to 191 last year, then got down to 154 in January…9% body fat. The whole time I ate complex carbs. I’m at 179 now and I am much stronger and look better than ever…5′ 10″ and 33″ waist.
I disagree with your Bears, Bucs, Jets, Dolphins, & Seahawks picks.
Just eat Taco Bell for three meals a day and you’ll be leaking like the Exxon Valdez. Its shit weight, but hey, wight is weight, no matter the source right??? Besides, we are all full of shit anyway.
/Fuck Favre
//I don’t think I’ve been drinking, but my grammar and spelling above would beg to differ
///Loses self within another caucasian (for those lebowski fans)
@zack. Great ATHF reference.
@Sean salisbury, get over it.
@ losing weight. Atkins diet is pure win and a lot more fun than some no alcohol deal. Atkins permits you to drink clear alcohols without much of a problem. So you can get tanked on gin and vodka.
Went from 250lb’s to 210 in like 3 months. Gym 3 times a week and just 0 carb eating with a 1600 calorie a day limit. I disappeared.
Pounds. Dollars. what’s the difference?
/todd margaret’d
Is UM on the Paleo diet? Sounds like a great diet, I just cannot give up the booze and foods I love.