Of course you wouldn’t. You’d much rather look Jenn Sterger and her classy French manicure. Ah, the French manicure. No Mississippi boy can resist! Anyway, if you’d like to see the penis in question, by all means watch the vid at Deadspin, or click after the jump. It’s not safe for work, though it has been tastefully Photoshopped. I couldn’t figure out how to do it myself, though. Stupid Photoshop. The first time I try and learn that program, I elect to use a picture of a 40-year-old penis. Unwise. Hat tip to Punter. Send us your PS jobs and we’ll make a little contest out of it.

Worst. Pez dispenser. Ever.