Ben Roethlisberger: HI TEAM! THE BEN IS BACK FROM BEING ON SUSPENDERS.

YOU BAND OF BRUDDERS READY TO WIN AND STUFF? DURING SUSPENDERS I TOOK REPS AND REPS AND REPS AND REPS. MORE REPS THAN I EVER THINK I CAN REP. BIG BAD BEN GONE AND NEW BIG FOLK KISS BEN TAKE HIS PLACE.

THAT MEAN:

NO MO’ MAKE BAD TOUCH

NO MO’ HOLD BALL FOREVER AND EVA

NO MO’ LEAVE PRACTICE EARLY FOR CALL OF DUTY, EVEN AFTER BLACKS OPS COME OUT

NO MO’ CHOCO TACO

HARF HARF HARF THAT A JOKE ON LAST ONE

Trai Essex: Oh thank God, he’s back. It was so bad. We won the majority our games and all, but it was torture every time we had to move the ball. Except that game against Tampa Bay because they suck ass.

Bruce Arians: I had to run the ball! [goes into spasms]

Charlie Batch: [Coughs and wheezes] Made me miss mah nap.

Kordell Stewart: They made me change my name to “Dennis Dixon.”

Ben Roethlisberger: THE BEN KNOW HE LET YOU DOWN, BAND OF BRUDDERS. THE BEN SO PROUD HOW HARD YOU WORK WHEN HE ON SUSPENDERS. HE MADE THIS DRAWING TO SHOW YOU HOW HE PROUD.

NOW WE FINISH JOB TOGETHER. NOW WE WORK EVEN MORE HARD AND SUCCEED EVEN MORE HARD. WE NO STOP PLAY TOUGH UNTIL WE GET SILVER FOOTBALL TROPHY FOR THE NUMBER THIRD TIME AND PEOPLE SHUT UP ABOUT STUPID LADIES WHO MAKE EVIL LIES. WHO IS WITH ME?

HARF HARF HARF, HEY HINES WHAT’S YOU GOT ON YOUR HEADSPOT?

Hines Ward: Is specserr bleast cancell awellness hat. Is make arr peeper awell of dangel of bleast cancel, which is when woman bleast get bad rumps and they kirr the woman.

Ben Roethlisberger: HARF HARF HARF, LOOK LIKE YOU GOTS A BIG NIPPLE WHERE YOUR HEADSPOT SHOULD BE

MMMMMMM NIPPLE

[Bzzzzzztttttttt sound]

YYYYOOOOOOOWWWWWW!

Hines Ward: What is happen, Rongrastname?

Ben Roethlisberger: OH, IT’S THIS COLLAR THE COMMISH MAN GAVE TO THE BEN. GIVE THE ELECTRIC OWWWIES ANY TIME BEN HAVE A BAD THOUGHT.

NO BIG WHOOP. NOT GONNA STOP THE BEN FROM TAKING REPS, BEING STEEL TOWN BALLER AND WINNING THE BIG GAMES.

[Sunday]

Ben Roethlisberger: YOOOOOWWWWW GAWD NO END TO OWIES

[browns pic via]