Your Meast for Week 4 is Patrick Chung, the numbell one smaltest Chinese-Jamaican safety in the NFR, mon. On Monday night, Chung blocked a field goal and a punt then intercepted a pass which he returned for a touchdown. Randy Moss immediately became expendable as soon as the Patriots figured out they could count on 21 points per game from their special teams. NO ONE DENIES THIS! Speaking of which, Chung’s performance helped get Dolphins special teams coach John Bonamego fired on Tuesday. More like John Bonvoyage, am I right? Eh? Ehhhhhh…
Anyway, Chung attributed his performance to “woosa,” a thing from Bad Boys II that is essentially Hakuna matata for grown-up bros in pressure situations.
At least it’s Asian-sounding. Awfully kind of him to make our childish stereotyping that much easier. And look, we’ve righted a grave injustice. Maybe PK won’t hate us so much now.
Patrick Chung had one of the best special teams performances in recent history and lost POTW to Josh Scobee. That’s real smart.
IS IT HOTELS.COM SMART!?
Your Least of Week 4 is Nate Clements, who made what appeared to be a game-sealing interception against the Falcons with 90 seconds left, except he was stripped of the ball while making the return. The Falcons recovered and drove down the field to make the winning field goal. So how did all of Chicago’s early season luck transfer to the Falcons? Atlanta got Garrett Hartley to miss a 29-yard field goal in overtime when they played the Saints, and this past week Clements gave them a second chance by putting the ball on the ground. New Orleans voodoo guy needs to try something new.
The preseason NFC West favorite Niners have dropped to 0-4. Now, kneejerk clueless assholes like me think the Rams have a legitimate chance at making the playoffs. Which means of course that Sam Bradford will get his shoulder shredded this weekend and they’ll lose 10 straight. Delusion was fun while it lasted.
Oh, and we considered giving the Least to the Bears offensive line, who are certainly deserving for giving up nine sacks in the first half alone on Sunday night to the Giants, but we like to give it to individuals when possible and that was such an incredibly shitty performance from all involved that it was impossible to do so.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.