A solid ending to what was easily the best Hard Knocks season to date. Really, HBO is gonna have their work cut out for them topping this one. The culmination with Revis at the end of this episode wasn’t quite as revealing as it could have been, but it was cool to see Rex’s tantrum that got negotiations moving. Oh, and if you missed the America’s Game about last year’s Saints, here was the most entertaining moment from that:
As for the Hard Knocks finale, beyond the inevitable Revis drama, there were worthwhile moments from the several featured players on the roster bubble, in particular the especially clueless fullback Jason Davis and running back Danny Woodhead, aka the love child of Darren Sproles and Wes Welker (except he wouldn’t be mixed race).
One stunt that fell on its face was the defense’s revenge against Nacho for apparently setting a stink bomb off in their office. In response, some interns filled up his car with packing peanuts, which might be slightly annoying to clean out, but rates pretty low on the prank index, especially given their resources.

Here are a few moments that worked better:
(Oh, and because someone rightfully complained that we failed to work in the latest masterstroke of Mike Westhoff surliness, here is a link to Westhoff taking digs at his “dipshit” injured back-up linebackers on the stationary bikes.)
5. Kellen Clemens’ unfathomable sadness
Clemens has been a sad sack the last two episodes. For a while, it was kind of irritating, but now that he’s lost all hope that he’ll ever be anything but a career reserve, a simple comment about trying to do too much on a play bespeaks a delicious resignation within him.
4. “This is so easy, Schotty, you suck!”
The Jets gave playcalling duties to Mark Sanchez for parts of their final preseason game. On their first drive with Nacho making calls, the offense scored a touchdown, prompting Sanchez to tell Brian Schottenheimer that his job is easy and he sucks. Merely light teasing, sure, but I appreciate the mockery of any Schottenheimer.
3. “Instead of needle, call it, uh, dick.”
Like there’s any other immediate association Rex Ryan has with “needle.”
2. Jason Davis’ vow of revenge
Davis was the third fullback on the depth chart in training camp, which pretty much already tells you he’s almost certainly going to be cut. He makes the decision that much easier by very explicitly quitting during practice at the beginning of the episode, thinking that bit of reverse psychology might entice coaches to keep him around longer. When his expected release comes later, he responds by hilariously promising to take it out on the Jets when he gets on with another team. In one sense, it’s kind of sad because I’m sure some players have done stupid things like that and went on to have decent careers, where Davis now has to sulking broadcast all over the league on HBO.
1. The white chocolate Eagle killer little f*cker, Danny Woodhead
Coming into this episode, Danny Woodhead was your run-of-the-mill undersized gritty scrapheap with a white heart full of hustle, but in the finale, he was almost a drawing the best nicknames on the show. Which on its own is enough to get a place on the final roster.
On a final note, I have to give a kudos to HBO and NFL Films for not being YouTube Nazis and forcing these clips down the last five weeks. They very easily could have if they wanted.


I’ll second the kudos for the clips staying up. I got hooked on the entire series from being able to see these. Pretty progressive thinking, HBO….
After dealing with those dipshit LBs, of course.
Sounds like Mike Westhoff needs a piece of fucking Juicy Fruit.
This NYT profile of Sexy Rexy is unbelievable
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/12/magazine/12ryan-t.html?_r=3&pagewanted=all
“An immense man whose thick foothills of neck and haunch swell into a spectacular butte at the midsection”
“Look at them!” he shouts. “These are mighty men!”
Holy shit, I want to get a transfer to sports just so I can spend a day with Rex Ryan. Hard Knocks just wasn’t enough.
Major difference between KSK Rex and real Rex; KSK version doesn’t use the phrase “fukcin’ slapdick” often enough.
For example-
Dangelo Hall is a fuckin’ slapdick DB Rob Ryan already cut for shittiness.
Tony Dungy is a stuckup fuckin’ slapdick.
The New England Patriots and their motherfucker coach are a bunch if fuckin’ slapdicks.
@drew
I’m thinking Schottenheimer woke up in the middle of the night and said, ‘Oh yeah? Well the Jerk store called, and they’re running out of You!”
when sanchez told schottenheimer that “This is so easy, Schotty, you suck!”, the perfect response would have been:
“If I had a decent QB executing my playcalls, I’d look like a genius too!”
Fuck. I went into this year’s hardknock’s hoping to renew my passionate hatred for the Jets- which admittedly has slipped in the post Testeverde/Chrebet era. Instead I’ve grown to love these fucking assholes. Good thing their fans are all a bunch of greasy shit-weasels or I might find myself actually rooting for them.
the “fucking Tour de France” comment I thought was a shoo-in
It was good. Not that you can have too much Mike Westhoff cussing, but I wanted to work some other stuff in, so it barely missed the cut. Here’s the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj84lkzPi2A
I’ll work one into the post, as well.
Great season but thank fuck it’s over.
IT’S OPENING DAY MOTHERFUCKERS!
/goes to sleep until 8
the “fucking Tour de France” comment I thought was a shoo-in
With all the F-bombs, you know Tony Dungy wrote a very stern letter to the president of HBO.
Sorta like a UN letter to {INSERT COUNTRY HERE}
/un sucks
/poflawa
/shows self out
No way we come away without random Mike Westhoff ‘fuck you you motherfucker”s throughout the future KSK posts. Not doing so would be goddamn-cancer-beating shame
Btw, Jason Davis claims he didn’t quit. He had an ankle tweak in that practice. If true, HBO did a great editing job.
Know what kills me? None of this is going on DVD. I can’t have a tangible part of my collection to commemorate this glorious training camp. WHY HBO?? WHY????
Danny Woodhead is from Chadron State. Chadron State is located in Nebraska, and their nickname is the Eagles.
It is a guaranteed fact that if this guy was on the Patriots, simmons would’ve already fapped one out in a replica jersey.
NOBODY DENIES THIS !
/hates podcasts substituting for writing
/not that simmons ever has anything to say
/bathes in haterade
“Mark Sanchez – you just called a touchdown in a pre-season game, what are you going to do now “?
“I’M GOING TO TACO BELL ”
/stereotypes
Westhoff needs to have a Kharacter of his own. That would be like a punter getting into the hall of fame; never gonna happen.
The man’s badass attitude reminds me of Parcells without the gigantic FUPA.
http://www.newyorkjets.com/team/roster/Danny-Woodhead/042efd0d-a1b3-4be7-af33-c09ecd203059
Look at that little fucker. I’m surprised he’s not wearing his letterman jacket and showing off his class ring.
This fukcing woodhead!
http://www.tiricosuave.com/2009/09/05/jets-fans-officially-have-plucky-new-white-guy-to-root-for/
Oh, wait. I forgot the whole “quitting during practice” bit. Yeah, fuck him.
I wouldn’t call that #2 clip “sulking.” He took getting “fired” pretty well, I thought.
Also, kudos to HBO for making a great fucking show.
It’s like that hot cheerleader you somehow nailed back in the day. It was amazing, but it will never happen again. Sweet pussytubing memories we will always have.