Stated:

When I was falling in love with football in the mid-’70s, my beloved Patriots played in the AFC East. There were 28 teams and six divisions by 1976, which meant one division in each league had just four teams instead of five. Teams earned a playoff spot by winning their division or grabbing the one wild-card slot, which eliminated the ’77 Pats: they finished 9-5, one game behind division rivals Miami and Baltimore. Meanwhile, the AFC Central shook out like this:

Pittsburgh, 9-5
Cincinnati, 8-6
Houston, 8-6
Cleveland, 6-8

I remember bristling at the standings. Wait a second. We finished 9-5 and the Steelers finished 9-5. We were in a more difficult division with more teams. But THEY made the playoffs???

Annnndddddd debunked. Flubby says:

“Looked at the record book, that was still when only one wild card team got in per conference. So Miami at 10-4 had a better record than the Patriots in the same division and they didn’t get in either. Simmons’ argument is a dick.

You might also mention that that the AFC East included 3-11 Buffalo and 3-11 Jets. Not a tougher division.”

Listen, I know some of you out there get tired of us ragging on Simmons. But you fail to understand that GOD DAMMIT WHY CAN’T HE JUST SPEND ONE WEEK NOT BEING AN INSUFFERABLE KNOWITALL COCKVULTURE WHO PRETENDS TO KNOW MORE THAN EVERYONE ELSE AND FOR SOME REASON FINDS THIS FUNNY WHEN IT ISN’T AND GAHHHHHHH HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE.

Kurt Warner’s new TV career led to the funniest subplot of the 2010 season, when Cardinals fans subjected themselves to “Dancing With the Stars” and prayed that Warner would be the worst star — that way, he’d get voted off first and might get talked into a comeback — only Margaret Cho, David Hasselhoff and The Situation were significantly more inept, leading to an unexpected scenario in which red-blooded football fans were complaining about things like: “I can’t believe Margaret Cho wore that outfit, it killed her!”

This never occurred. DIE.