Not gonna lie, I could have done with much less Kellen Clemens haggling with a team that would love to cut him and long shots of Lavernaeus Coles walking dolefully down a hallway, but this episode found a way to get some amusing content in in fits and starts. Certainly enough that we could cobble together a handful of clips.
Plus, it can’t be worse than naked Rex in the hot tub next week.
Why would we show that screencap? THE TERRRMINATOR
Without further ado, the five best from episode four…
5. GET OFF MY ASS!
Awww, Kris Jenkins. Freaking out like he’s done prison time.
4. “This Fuggin Bart Guy”
Oh, Mike Pettine, you’ll learn to love Bart Scott yet.
3. That’s Why My Brother Got Rid Of Your Ass
Rex got into it with a Redskins defender who tackled LaDainian hard after a long run. Not good enough to play for Rob Ryan? Ouf. That’s some cold shit, Rex.
However, Mike Westoff sums up my feelings on the Redskins more concisely.
2. FUGGIN SANCHEZ
Nacho shows his mischievous side with a little unicorn ass on your desktop after he didn’t get his special Jets Trapper Keeper like he wanted. Of course, it seems like he knew a little too quickly where to locate said picture. Nevertheless, well done. Also, the Taco Bell hat makes yet another cameo.
1. Let’s Go Eat A Goddamn Snack
Don’t be a slapdick team. Get some goddamn snacks.
Not quite on par with the first week speech, but this one was still pretty special.
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Nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.
Rex Ryan looks like he’s going to make some cheetos pay after that speech.
That’s some serious issues there if you have to kiss the boss’s ass in the hot tub when your boss is Rex Ryan.
You’re gonna have to explain why Sperminator UU.
a caricature of a caricature.
fuck, this team looks like fun.
The Terminator’s new nickname should be The Sperminator.
” My bad, I just got caught off guard; I thought you were a linebacker.” My ex-wife used to say things like that. Yep, ex.
Has anyone seen Gholston since his balls dropped?
Tony Dungy is very disappointed in all of you.
The Terrrrminator’s hit was a challenge to hurricane Earl, but Earl backed off and is just going to Boston instead.
Extremely poor meeting protocol by the guy in the white shirt who jumped in front of Ryan. Let the leader get out first. Sorta like church, you don’t step in front of the pastor as he is walking down the aisle after benediction.
And for marrying a teammates sister…who actually looks like said teammate.
And for driving a Maserati and getting lost on the Jersey Turnpike with his GPS turned on. What a jackass.
And, of course, carrying on the bloodline of Jason Taylor.
Oh, I forever hate Jason Taylor’s kid for having that boxing ring bed.
I just hope Jason doesn’t have to drive them, since apparently he can’t get anywhere in a timely manner.
Dammit Ape I demand a screenshot!
Though actually an even better moment was Jason Taylor letting his kids wail on each other in that tiny boxing ring held up with what looked like unpadded steel poles. I predict a trip to the dentist or doctor in the near future.
“Do we understand what the fuck I want to see tomorrow? Let’s go eat a goddamn snack.”
I know someone who is getting quoted at the preschool open house tomorrow.
I could have done without the Kellen and Laveranues moments as well since we knew all about the Jets fucking them both last week via the media and the numerous comments from TWWL. That was old news to me, and I was hoping to get more insight into Brashton’s Bronx pizzeria and/or Braylon’s gay escapades through SOHO’s many fashion galleries.
They’ve got to keep the Terrrrrrrminator though. Cut T-Rich now, kick back and begin splicing together your John Connor jacked up clips. Then sip your champagne.
No love for The Beard’s hilarious scarf shopping spree/gray hair discovery?
It was amusing.
THERE’S YOUR LOVE!
I’m pretty sure Rex’s tattoo is a picture of a pussytube.
Did Rex have anything to say to DHall when he picked Sanchez in the red zone? Keep chirping.
Rexy’s tattoo looks like some kind of ruthless mutant hybrid of the ass end of a taco and the business end of a cigar in that shot.
No love for The Beard’s hilarious scarf shopping spree/gray hair discovery?
Brady Quinn has asked to be traded to the slapdick team.
Rex looks more like the purple thing Grimace than Olberdouche.
Rex Ryan farted in that hot tub….I’ve never been so sure of anything
“I demand that we have fun.” Sounds like me at the beginning of every date.
“Let’s go eat a goddamn snack.” Sounds like me at the end of every date.
So Flexy Rexy has a gay clown dolphin tattoo? Does that make him a hipster?
Okay, so I get that Sanchez is dating Sasha Grey this season, but where is Turtle and Drama?
Negotiating is a hard mother fucker.
Dude, you were fucked the moment Mom named you Kellen.
Your nickname is “Mailman” because you’re gonna work for the fucking post office. Get it?
Bukowski worked for the post office. That turned out alright.
Better start drinking son.
I’ve seen the Jets schedule for that night before the game, and snack time was at 10:00pm. Rex was getting a little bit of low blood sugar by 10:05.
This show is definitely going to make it easier to deal with going 7-9 this year . . .
Rex is just upset that the team ate his cheeseburgers. He was saving those for after practice.
Eat a goddamn snack? That’s a fine.
I wonder how much the Terminator’s Madden rating is affected by this show….anybody know his overall?
A snack has never sounded so manly.