I could ignore some cuckoo bananas for that.

In December 2009, Chris Chambers claimed in court papers that Stacey Bernice Saunders was stalking him and had made “abusive, vulgar and irrational” communications towards Chambers, his wife, and his wife’s family. Now, less than a year later, Chambers has divorced his wife and married Saunders. According to PigskinLovingLady.com (not a pork-rind fan site, sorry to say), the wedding took place recently in Las Vegas.

At the time of the alleged stalking, Chambers played for the San Diego Chargers, but shortly thereafter he was released and signed with the Kansas City Chiefs. I can’t help but feel that Chambers change of heart and change of locale are related. Thus raising the question, is KC so bereft of quality single women that men would rather marry a stalker than date a local? Yes, yes it is.

Unfortunately for the newlyweds, relationships founded on this level of emotion are often doomed. Sure, Chambers and his new special lady may be loving life right now. But give it a few months.

“How come you don’t hide in my bushes with a boning knife anymore?”

“Because I live here now. How come you don’t warn people ‘Watch dat bitch, she crazy!’ no more?”

“Aw, c’mere baby. I’m sorry.”

/commence psycho codependent batshit looney tunes sex