Here’s the trailer for VH1′s upcoming reality show, “Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch.” It features Chad Ochocinco searching for love from a large field of women who are put into a bracket and must advance towards Chad’s heart, tournament-style. It appears to be similar to “Flavor of Love,” except the women are (slightly) less trashy and the male prize isn’t some creepy washed-up hobbit.
There’s a lot to learn here, too. At one point in the video, Chad tells a suitor, “Kisses open an emotional gate.” Sounds to me like SOMEONE is ready to guest-author the KSK mailbag.
Anyway, that brings us to today’s commenter draft topic:
NFL Player You’d Like to See Have His Own Reality Dating Show.
The Rules: Along with your pick, you must present a title for the show. Example: “Ray Lewis: A Stab at Love.” Retired players are fair game, as are married players (just pretend that the present wife died of, say, breast cancer. Or in a church fire.) As always, wait for ten other commenters to select before commenting again.
The official KSK first pick of the draft: While it would be nice to pick Brett Favre and watch him be forced to make a decision every week, the last thing we want to see is more Favre. So that leads us to…

“Quarter Past Rape: Making Time with Big Ben.” The twist is that none of the women on the show want to have sex with Roethlisberger. WHO WILL SUCCESSFULLY EVADE THE BATHROOM STAGE?


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Ball and Juice: the adventures of McDaniels and Tebow as they get Jacked together in the same room.
Mike Singletary in, “The Bare Ass of Love”
Each week, one unlucky bachelorette gets shown the door, courtesy of Coach’s full-moon treatment, until he ultimately finds the woman of his dreams.
Golden Tate Plus Eight (bitches)
Ron Mexico-It’s Only Puppy Love
Ben Roethlisberger’s Forced Love
taking it up the Butkus with Dick.
Chad….You know you’ll end up with Cheryl, the girl who’s real, the girl who is refined, the girl who can stand up to you, the girl who can really love YOU, not some hyped-up image of who you are….
‘Leonard Littles gettin his swerve on.’
Rex Ryan: Choosing one woman out of 85? FUCK THAT. Your job is to fuck, they’re job is to kill. At the end of the show, you’ll end up with 84 dead bitches and the winner will be the god damn Highlander. Only intsead of pussytubing in that piece of shit Christopher Lambert, you’re pounding fake knockers and a snatch tighter than all those faggy ass sweaters Chad’s always wearing. THIS IS WHY YOU”RE STUCK IN FUCKING PUSSYNATTI CHAD, YOU DON’T THINK LIKE A CHAMPION.
Bill Belichick is: MILF Hunter
“Please, for the love of God…Tell me how much you like me!!!!!”, with Donovan McNabb.
Braylon Edwards: Droppin’ ‘Em Left and Right
Otto Man: Owning Bitches Like He Owns This Draft…of Love.
Jon Gruden’s Win a Date with THIS GUY
Ron Jaworski Provides CARDIO PULMINARY RESUSCITATION to your HEART
Addendum: gratuitous laugh & applause tracks to “Bro’s”, especially when Carson Palmer, Mark Sanchez, and Petros Papadakis make guest appearances.
“Bro’s” starring Matt Leinhart and John David Booty. Hosted by Pete Carrol. Produced by Ashton Kutcher.
/JDB just wants to punk someone, bro.
Tony Washington: Family Ties, Whips, and Chains.
Golden Richards: What’s in Your Medicine Cabinet of Love?
Tedy Bruschi’s Gritty Love
Since welkaaah and edelman were taken.
HEBADASLOVASUCKAMAPENISFABFAJGKELYLOVESMGSSAGVOHGODTRDFHGTELEMPROMPTE…with John Madden
Troy Polamalu : “Hairball Honey’s”
(The search for a more feminine voice)
Sposored by…… Head and Shoulders
Brandon Marshall – Slap My Bitch Up With Love
Ted Johnson’s “Who Wants to Look at the Wall?”
“Mile High Romance”, starring Kyle Orton. Featuring a dozen of Denver’s finest competing in events such as shaving his neckbeard every five hours, helping him avoid the advances of Brady Quinn, and combat his chronic whiskey dick.
(in ralph wiggums voice)
pacman jones in ‘i chuh chuh choose you’
Pick Six with Rex Grossman
Every week, from a field of 20 women, Rex selects six of them, and then unleashes the dragon. Coming this fall, on the Spice Channel.
And, since Rex has been picked twice already…
“Bottom” of the Pile with Jeff Garcia.
A Double Shot of my Love, with Marvin Harrison.
Travis Henry – Must love kids.
Contestant with the biggest bag of weed wins.
Mike Vick’s Puppy Love?
Donte Stallworth’s “Drunk with Love”
Was gonna make a Najeh Davenport, but it was kinda taken. Anyway it’d be:
Najeh’s Hershey Highway: Tunnel of Love
Head over heels in love with Lawrence Phillips – contests include stairway ‘drag’ race
Concussions of a Broken Heart w/ Trent Green
Running Head First Into Love with Gus Frerotte
OR
No Glove No Love with OJ Simpson
Phillip Rivers: Let’s Just Talk
Curiosity with Troy Aikman
“Help Me Find Where I Parked My Car” with Trent Green
Mark Gastineau’s Ballsack Exchange
Bust or beauty with Sean Taylor
Phillip Rivers: In Search Of Child #6
Warren Moon’s Punch-Out
Joe Willie Namath in…………….
AHHH JUSSSS WANNNAAAA KISSSSS YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
The Incredible Bust a Nut with Tony Mandarich
Chris Henry: Ghostriding the whip of love
Lawrence Taylor – She Works Hard for the Money
“One Great Catch” with David Tyree (rebroadcast in Massachusets as “Get Lucky” with David Tyree)
“Win A Date With Tab Perry”
“Simmering for love” starring JaMarcus Russell
Female contestants must cook a seven course dinner and the winner gets a date where he takes them out for more dinner…but not before he takes a nice……….long…………….nap. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
/the ‘itis is a mutha
“Pick me up,” starring Chris Henry
I Love Tight Ends starring Jerry Smith
Too soon?
The Amos Zereoue to My Heart
Rex Grossman’s Ultimate Toss: Instead of starting with a field of women and narrowing down to one. Rex starts with 1 woman and each week the women multiply until He’s impregnated all of D.C. Watch a very special episode 7 where Kyle Orton “intercepts” several of the uglier girls.
Matt Leinart’s Hot Tub of Underage Love
Who Am I with Curt Menefee
Terrance Kiel’s Love Drank
Love on steriods with Shawne Merriman
Chris Simms is Under the Influence of Love
Sorry for 3, but no CPU access after 1. Happy 4th everyone.
Jahri Evans in “Golddigging Hoochies Pretend To Know What The Fuck a Guard Does”
She’s like a sister to me with Michael Strahan
Julian Edelman’s loving that dreidel.
/re-runs do not play from Friday sundown through Saturday night
Ndamukong Suh- I gotta Suhprise in my pants, who wants to be a Millionaire?
Ray Carruth in… Lost Connections Cured by Love Gun
I know it’s been done already…but : Beauty and the Beast Mode starring Marshawn Lynch
Brady Quinn: Curious for Love
“Shot to the Heart: Giving Love a Bad Name” w/ Steve McNair.
Charles Haley’s Pissing Contest
Trust me, it’s a dating show
“A Shot At Love” with Fred Lane
“On The Wheels of Love” with Richard Collier
Sorry to pick again so soon, but I must leave at noon CT for a weekend of booze and dick jokes with my friends. “Be My Beard” with Brady Quinn
“Why Are These Girls Here?” with Kordell Stewart
Take my hand with Charles Haley
“Fall Head Over Heels with Chris Henry”
Too soon?
From the producers who brought you “Ace of Cakes” and “Cake Boss” comes a new twist with “Cake Eater” starring Michael Vick.
Dez Bryant – Date My Mom
The Sex Cannon: Fuck it, I’m going down on her.
“Rae Carruth – Deadliest Catch” takes it for me
“Top Shot” with Tank Johnson