bretttruck

Dawnaw why all dem ree-porturs gettin awl backup in ol Britt’s craw, but ol Britt daw lyk it much as dem sittie slickurs thinkadoo. Das jus mee bean onnis, now. Ol Britt jus wanna ree habb dat ankul on dat ol porch swing over yonder and git that puppy back inta shape. Obsurv…

/gets on bench

//pushes off with repaired ankle

Ol Coach Childruss came on down he-uh an ee askol Britt haw minnie rips I’s doin eech day. Ol Britt down’t kewnt no rips! Ol Britt wurkit til it feel lack wurk! Thin wee gitonuver tooda kitchin an git summadat Hattiesburg Gaturade: a sweet tee wit extur sweetinur. Mmm, mmm. Ol Britt gunna feel guud aftur dat, an den ee gone round behin da shed and tinkle for bout 45 minit or so. Dat sweet tee feel guud at both inds! Ah!

Da missus tol me, “Naow Britt, you gots to git inta dat noodul o’ yors in make yur minedup bout dat foobaw now.” But tellya da trooth, not e’en ol Britt know whuh heegondoo dis fawl. Ol Britt might play sum Tixis Howldum oer in Tewnicuh, or he maght warsh off dem duckies wit all dat oiwl on em in dat dere Golf. How ken it be golf if its awl wadder?

Ayway, y’all best leeve ol Britt alone til bout two weeks affer trainin kamp done finish. Ol Britt dawn lack dat trainin kamp. All dem colored fellers with dem big peckers don’t make ol Britt feel too guud. Maybe ol Britt ken git sum surgerie on dat part, too.