The escalating war of Tweets between Vikings longdongsman Visanthe Shiancoe and Saints safety Darren Sharper is in need of a shift detente. At first, it seemed similar to the protracted nonsense that went on for months last year between Chad Ochocinco and Shawne Merriman, where one guy said he would knock the other guy out, then the other guy would respond that he’d knock the first guy out, only harder and FIRST-ER.

But no, this is getting serious, with a capital ERIOUS. So intense is the rivalry that it has caused Osama bin Laden to briefly think that he is Darren Sharper, only full of bullet holes to the chest and made of paper. You see what you are doing to bullet-hole ridden paper Osama, guys? He doesn’t even know who he is anymore. That’s the type of madness you are directly responsible for.

So let’s all take a step back, let cooler heads prevail and maybe Osama bin Laden will stop thinking he’s Darren Sharper. And made of paper. Because when we finally capture him and shot him for realsies, we want Osama not to be temporarily full of the Darren Sharper insanity. Or made of paper.