Gisele Bündchen’s most prized accessory will reportedly be named as the 23rd coolest man in America by GQ. Brady–a three-time GQ cover boy–was deemed cooler than Demetri Martin, but less so than the star of Bored to Death, who is quite possibly the show’s third coolest regular cast member.

And now for some in depth analysis of the top 23, let’s check in with our correspondent in Quincy.

1. Prince Harry – WHY DID SAMUEL ADAMS AND PAWL RAHVEE-AH FIGHT THE WAHH FAAAH? WHY WE GAWT THE BRITISH FACKING CROWN IN HEE-UH?

2. Robert Pattinson – SACK MY BLOODY DICK

3. Reggie Love (Aide to US President Barack Obama) – MALE SECRATARY!

4. Dizzee Rascal – STOLE EVERYTHING HE KNOWS FROM EVAHLAST

5. Jason Schwartzman (actor) – ALL HIS CLUBS AT RUSHMORE FAILED!

6. Usain Bolt - TERRA-RIST WHO REFUSES TO BE PAY-TREEUTS RETURN MAN

7. Ryan McGinley (photographer) – ANYONE RELATED TO JEFFAHSON DAHHHCY IS AWTAMATICALLY DISQAAHHLIFIED

8. Dustin Lance Black (screenwriter) – LIKES BLACK LANCES, IF YOU CATCH OW-AH DRIFT

9. Matt Helders (Arctic Monkeys drummer) – AN AHHHHTIC MONKEY IS JUST AN AFRICAN MONKEY WHO GAWT UPPITY

10. Wells Tower (author) - THE FACK IS THAT NAME? IT’S LIKE WELLS FAAAHGO AND JOSH TOWAHS HAD A FAT GAY ZYGOTE

11. Brian Burton (aka Danger Mouse, record producer) – NEEDS A BETTAH NICKNAME

12. Jack White – DUNN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN

13. Jon Favreau (speechwriter to President Obama) – THE FAT KID FROM RUDY

14. Roger Federer – TOO MANY ARAH’S!

15. Andre Saraiva (artist) – PRETTY COOL BRO, BUT NAWT TOMMY BRADY

16. Nicola Formichetti (Lady Gaga stylist) – QUEE-AH

17. Lionel Messi- QUEE-AH

18. Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook co-founder) – MYSPACE IS BETTAH!

19. Nate Lowman (artist) – NAWT A TRUE CELTIC

20. Shaun White (snowboarder) – GINGAH

21. Tahar Rahim – PRAWBABLE TERRA-RIST

22. Julian Casablancas – MEXICAN

23. Tom Brady - CRIMINALLY UNDAHRATED! BUT PRAWBABLY NAWT HUMBLE ENOUGH

Via