Prostitutes and their clients may become persona non grata at Cowboys games if local officials get their way. According to the Dallas Morning News, the city of Arlington is considering barring individuals convicted of such offenses from the city’s entertainment district—including the football stadium—by establishing a “Prostitution Exclusion Zone.” [ ed. Note: mmmmm, PEZ ]
“The ordinance would set boundaries that people convicted of prostitution-related offenses would not be allowed to cross, except in limited circumstances. The exclusive zone would last for one year. The proposed zone includes a large section of north Arlington, including Cowboys Stadium, Six Flags Over Texas and Rangers Ballpark in Arlington.”
With Super Bowl XLV coming to Cowboys Stadium next season, this ordinance could have some unintended consequences. For instance, any plans to honor the 20th anniversary of the Giants remarkable victory in Super Bowl XXV could result in some embarrassment for Lawrence Taylor. According to the details of the law, Taylor would only be allowed to enter the Prostitution Exclusion Zone if he’s trussed up Hannibal Lecter-style and wheeled onto the turf.
This proposed measure is the latest in an effort to rid the DFW area of crime. I commend the city fathers for looking to improve the quality of life, but let’s not go overboard. If you eliminate the drugs, violence and whores then it’s not really the Metroplex anymore. Christ, you might as well live in Lubbock.
“Now Dezzy, I don’t believe that story for a second. But if your sweet mama can’t come to the games, she’s always welcome on Double-J’s air-o-plane. YEEEEEE-HAW!!!”
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.