When we last left Joe Futbol himself Peter King, he was maybe kinda possibly perhaps thinking about maybe going to the World Cup. MAYBE. He also detailed the inspirational grad speech commissioner Goodell gave to crack majors at U-Mass Lowell, marveled at the CLEAN STREETS OF FACKIN’ BAWSTON, and again railed against the NFL for daring to hold a Super Bowl in inclement weather. YOU PEOPLE ARE PLAYING RUSSIAN ROULETTE WITH SLEET. SLEET NEVER LOSES.
So what of this week? Will Peter boycott those jackals at BP by never buying gas from them again? Unless, you know, he’s out of gas and there’s a BP station nearby? Are you ready for that kind of powerful uprising? Is Peter in South Africa right now? Is he? CRY FREEDOM, PEOPLE!!!! Read on.
CAPE TOWN, South Africa –
He is! Peter King is in Africa! Home of the Zulu Blend! This is a historic moment, people. This is like Nixon going to China. Or a 16-year-old getting into a titty bar. THIS MEANS SOMETHING, DAMMIT.
It’s fall here at the bottom of Africa, which gives the region a bit more of a football feel. And futbol too, of course. But before I get to the business of covering the World Cup later this week — hopefully I’ll find some good coffee by then…
And let’s stop right there. You’re a well-to-do journalist who just traveled thousands of miles to cover a new subject and explore a small portion of an entirely new continent. What do you do when you arrive? Do you sleep off your jet lag, then head to a local café and do a bit of people watching? Do you go to the city’s open market to take in all the new sights and sounds? Do you hit up some of the main tourist spots? Do you go to a bar to get yourself acquainted with the nation’s drinking culture? OR DO YOU WASTE PRECIOUS HOURS BITCHING ABOUT FINDING A FUCKING CUP OF COFFEE?
I have a few NFL thoughts, plus a couple of book ideas for your Father’s Day gift-giving…
Broncos head coach Josh McDaniels has the future of Tim Tebow in his hands, as you all know, after choosing him late in the first round of the 2010 draft. And McDaniels has an interesting assistant: his younger brother Ben, who turned 30 on Sunday, is the quarterbacks coach this season.
I think the reason McDaniels chose his brother to oversee the quarterbacks is simple:
He is Josh McDaniels’ brother.
They learned exactly the same way of coaching the techniques and body motion of quarterbacks from their dad, noted northeast Ohio high school coach Thom McDaniels. Say what you want about having an inexperienced guy coaching the presumptive franchise quarterback day to day, but if the head coach wants his methods to be translated exactly the way he wants, isn’t he going to be more comfortable with a coach who knows those methods better than anyone else in the world except him?
I know everyone slags nepotism. But really, if you’re in a senior management position and you need someone to execute your vision exactly as you’ve laid it out, isn’t that something ONLY a fellow family member can do?
Josh McDaniels bristled when I asked about nepotism.
“Peter, I am fucking cutting you.”
“Last year, I asked Ben to come in for an interview for the offensive assistant job,” he said. “Five guys interviewed, and I told him he’d have an equal chance to get the job. He came in and clearly was the best candidate for the job. Period.”
NO WAY! I can’t believe four other guys interviewed for the gig and, in your completely objective opinion, your brother was clearly the best candidate! Just a happy coincidence! Of course, there’s also the matter of your brother’s qualifications…
hadn’t coached above college grad-assistant level before being hired as an offensive assistant by the Broncos last year.
But if he wasn’t Josh’s brother, he still TOTALLY would have gotten that interview! Let’s hear Josh McDaniels continue to be an uppity cock about hiring his brother:
”Going back to high school, people would talk about nepotism [about the brothers starting at quarterback under their father]. Well, we lost nine games in six years with us quarterbacking.”
WE WON THOSE GAMES BY OURSELVES BECAUSE WE’RE FUCKING AWESOME AND WE’LL GIVE YOU SUPERAIDS IF YOU THINK DIFFERENT.
”Nepotism is for other people to talk about, but we learned a long time ago that’s no part of our vocabulary.”
We learned a long time ago that’s something we don’t talk about, because we practice it so brazenly and refuse to admit the corrupting nature of it.
”If you can do the job, you can do the job. Ben is damn good at what he does.”
Oh, okay. Well now, I totally see why you hired him.
I fucking hate Josh McDaniels.
Quote of the Week I
“Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.”
– John Wooden, in 1969, one of the words-to-live-by proverbs that made the former UCLA coach as much of a life coach in retirement as he was a basketball coach. Wooden died Friday at 99 in Los Angeles.
I’ve seen NFL coaches using Wooden over the years — John Harbaugh lives by his words — because they’re universal, in sports and in the real world. I never met him, which is one of the great voids of my sportswriting career.
Other great voids of Peter’s sportswriting career:
1. TGI Friday’s. October 27th, 1998. BM weight: 1 pound, 3 ounces (coffee assisted)
2. JetBlue flight. May 27th, 2010. BM weight: 2 pounds, 4 ounces (all liquid)
3. Joe Robbie Stadium. September 3rd, 1991. BM weight: 1 pound, 7 ounces (read entire John Grisham novel during extrusion)
4. Parcells estate. March 19th, 1990. BM weight: 5 pounds, 0 ounces (tandem poop)
5. Never getting to shake Pete Rozelle’s hand
Aggravating/Enjoyable Travel Note of the Week
Flew from the top of the world (Amsterdam) to the bottom (Cape Town) Saturday, and it’s amazing how much you can do when you’re not in the mood to watch TV for 11 hours and 13 minutes. Well, I did watch an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm (the one where Rosie O’Donnell beats up Larry, and Larry inadvertently takes two dates in wheelchairs to a recital) and one of The Office, (the Andy-Angela wedding-planning episode), but other than that I read. Got fully up to speed on the World Cup, thanks to writers Grant Wahl and Mark Bechtel and editor Mark Mravic’s fantastic preview of the Cup in this week’s SI. (What will Ivory Coast do without Didier Drogba?!) And I read 375 pages of the magnetizing The Girl Who Played With Fire by Stieg Larsson.
Boy, it really feels like you just had to spend 11 hours sitting next to him, doesn’t it? “And then I rolled up a blanket and used it as a lumbar support. And then I listened to some U2. And then I asked for coffee, but it didn’t arrive for another three minutes. And then I thought about climbing the 747 staircase, and I hoped there would be an arcade there, but I knew there wasn’t. And then flipped through the SkyMall catalog. What’s the deal with those things? Does ANYONE buy things from a SkyMall catalog? And then I pooped!”
Also had the opportunity to see the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam Friday. It was a bit of a disappointment.
WHERE ARE ALL THE DEAD JEWS?!
There was no context.
WHY IS THIS HOUSE BEING SHOWN TO ME IN THE YEAR 2010, A YEAR OF RELATIVE PEACE IN EUROPE? THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT CONTEXT FOR ME TO VISIT IT.
No real attempt to show the place exactly as it was.
WHY ISN’T THERE A LITTLE GIRL COWERING THE CORNER AND CLUTCHING A DOLL?
There were lots of signs, no furniture, short videos and never a sense of what it was like to live there.
WHY WON’T THEY STUFF ME IN A TRAP DOOR AND HAVE NAZIS PURSUE ME AND MY LOVED ONES?!
And, frankly (pun intended),
Oh, sweet fucking Jesus.
…no moment of terrible sadness and grief for her like you feel when you read her diary. I kept trying to understand what it was really like but could never feel it.
And there was NOWHERE in that house to get a decent cup of coffee. Anne Frank House, you got a looong way to go before you measure up to Peet’s. Better coffee. More dead Jews. GET ON IT.
It’s no Jack Bowers’ house, that’s for goddamn sure.
Cape Town is fantastically beautiful, though the winter can undo your plans. (It is the late fall here, sort of Seattle-ish.
Quasi-grungelike!
…Gray, dreary, overcast, though not terribly cold). We tried to sail to Robben Island Sunday to see where Nelson Mandela spent 18 of his 27 years in prison, but the weather cancelled our plans. We’ll try again today. I can tell, though, after just one day, that Cape Town should be a destination point for any adventurous traveler. Beautiful in itself and accessible to so many other amazing places. Just come when the weather is a bit nicer. Our summer is their winter.
I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY CHOSE TO PLAY THE WORLD CUP OUTSIDE IN THE MIDDLE OF AFRICAN WINTER. ARE YOU TELLING ME THESE GAMES WOULDN’T BE BETTER OFF BEING PLAYED IN THE GEORGIA DOME?! ABSURD.
Tweet of the Week
“Isn’t it funny how growing up I couldn’t stand the look or smell of vomit… now that I have kids I step in, catch, clean up without blinking”
–@kurt13warner, the former Rams and Cardinals quarterback, late Tuesday night after his 6-year-old son felt sick after eating ice cream, asked his father for a bucket because he was going to be sick and then, indeed, did throw up — but not before, in mid-vomit, he said to Warner: “Told you Dad!”
And Kurt unretires in 3, 2, 1…
Reading about (John) Wooden reminded me of the Bill Belichick life story in a different way but with the same parental influence.
Only, in Wooden’s case, the son doesn’t turn out to be a cheater and a philanderer and a complete fucking scumbag. Otherwise, EXACTLY ALIKE.
I’ve read a lot of the great page-turning writers over the years — John Grisham, Richard Patterson, Harlan Coben. The late Stieg Larssen (who died of a heart attack six years ago, after turning in three manuscripts that become international sensations) isn’t the writer they are but he’s got a way of tying you to the pages until you’re finished. Maybe something got lost in the translation from the book (written in Swedish); I don’t know.
Is Lisbeth Salander a man in the Swedish version? I don’t know. Did the translator accidentally use the word “Rape” when he should have used “lingonberries”? POSSIBLY.
What did we ever do without recycling?
I don’t know!
Found myself thinking that the other day…
I bet you did. That’s precisely the kind of thing I imagine Peter King finds himself thinking about. What did we EVER do without recycling? Hey, how about packaged ham? Is that neat or what?! Why don’t more people adopt dogs from the pound? Just seems like the right thing to do.
…when I brought three things to the curb: a white kitchen garbage bag with four days of house trash, a much larger clear plastic bag with a weekend of paper goods recycling and newspapers, and a bin of commingled plastic, glass and aluminum cans.
My God, man. Your life is duller on the ground than in the air!
Our trash was one part garbage, three parts recycling, I’d estimate. Twenty years ago, it was four bags of trash.
WHAT A COUNTRY.
I was fortunate enough the other day to have lunch with Red Sox outfielder Darnell McDonald… We spoke about football mostly (he was hungry for Bronco nuggets)
But these Bronco nuggets are made from mechanically separated bronco parts! It’s not top shelf bronco meat! I know, because Ben McDaniels was in charge of quality control at the bronco nugget plant, and that guy was a lazy SHIT.
And by the way, for those who sent e-mail and Tweets condemning me for condemning BP and saying I won’t be buying their gas again — many of you think the mega-spill is not the fault of the guy who pumps the gas or the local manager who runs the BP gas station, and of course it isn’t. But you have to protest in some way when you see horrible injustice, and this will be my little way.
This protest is completely pointless and ineffective. BUT I HAVE TO DO IT AND I WILL.
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Shouldn’t poop weights be measured in the more standard Couric?
Sean Taylor, Anne Frank… who will be the next tragically murdered celebrity Peter King libels? My bet is Gary Coleman.
Err, and by Gary Coleman, I mean Darrent Williams.
/Gary Coleman wasn’t murdered
//is a retard
///shows self out
Am I really first? What a weird honor. Good morning everybody. Fantastic as always Drew.
scratch that. not first. but almost.
I’ve been to the Anne Frank House and it is a harrowing experience. There is a talent to finding new and different ways to prove you are a jackass, and King has that talent in spades
I kept trying to understand what it was really like but could never feel it.
A writer’s job: to imagine what circumstances are like for others, render these thoughts into a coherent series of statements intended to give readers a better, clearer, sense of what those circumstances, like say, getting chased by 300 pound madmen who run like angry rhinos, are like for the non-participant.
And PK can’t imagine what it was like to be housebound in an attic for more than 2 years while standing in that house? Unbelievable.
Joe Robbie Stadium did not exist in 1981.
Either way, maybe you’re best PK takedown yet.
Your not you’re
Amsterdam is the top of the world? That will be news to the considerable part of Europe to its north. And fuck you Canada as well. As Amsterdam is at 52 degrees 22 a basic understanding of latitude would suggest . . . never mind, what am I saying. And Cape Town is further from the bottom than Amsterdam is from the top.
Stieg Larssen isn’t as good a writer as John Grisham?
a) You read it in translation.
iii) You are a professional writer and you think John Grisham is good?
Re: Peter’s visit to the Anne Frank house.
I can’t wait until he’s tweeting about discovering Neutral Milk Hotel.
As much as I don’t like agreeing with PK, I will be avoiding BP fuel in the future. The only real way to vote on such things is with your dollars.
Yeah, there are a lot of guys coaching in the NFL that haven’t coached above college grad-assistant level. Fuck the McDaniels brothers.
I’ll give you an even worse example of nepotism: Blake Williams. The kid is 26 years old and has coached in the NFL since he graduated from Princeton. He’s coached with his daddy Gregg since 2007.
I find it difficult to believe that none of PK’s top bowel movements took longer than one day to complete. Maybe not a full 48 hours, but certainly time consuming enough to necessitate late checkout from the Westin.
Wow. SI needs a staff overhaul, starting with an editor who won’t be too scared of Peter King to check him on his bulshit. That entire Anne Frank segment was so out of place and inappropriate. What a smug fuckhead.
fuck off, you dont get fully up to speed with the world cup after a flight where you have spent half of it reading other materials.
cant wait for football king twitter.
Patterson fucking sucks….great page turner….well I guess he didn’t say good writing.
Anne Frank was deaf, dumb, and blind right? Shouldn’t they have lobotomized, sodomized, and gouged out PK’s eyes, tie him up to the wall and leave him as a glory hole?
@littleballofhate
You’re thinking of Helen Keller. I get them confused too, but only because they headline my spank bank.
i SO want a glimpse of PKs bookshelves. Or is it like Wayne’s World’s ‘gun-rack’ where one would actually need books to necessitate shelves. If it don’t come in magazine or mass market paperback, well, how am sposed to crap to that?
A first for me. Completely skipped the MMQB drivel this morning and just waited for Drew’s writeup. Enjoyed it much more. Did her really have just one thing to say about football? This week’s column belongs in Fodor’s or Coffee Lovers Weekly, not SI.
/dick joke.
In fairness to PK, one of the first things I did when I moved to Berlin for a few months was scouted out coffee shops near the university where I was studying. I didn’t write home about it, because nobody cares, but it’s one of the most important first things to do in a new place for a coffee drinker. Of course, PK is the guy who hated all the coffee in London, so I refuse to believe he can actually distinguish between the good and bad coffee in South Africa or anyplace else.
And on the subject of coffee shops: he was in Amsterdam and all he did was visit the Anne Frank House? I don’t even smoke and I loved the coffee shops there.
Well, we lost nine games in six years with us quarterbacking.”
That’s what you’re going to tell pro QBs as your qualifications? “Hey, back in High School I was pretty decent”. I hate Tebow but I would love for him to talk back and say something like “That’s great coach. I won two fucking National Championships in college, and in my down year we won the Sugar Bowl”.
Peter King will be SHOCKED Nelson Madela was deprived of decent Starbucks coffee while incarcerated during apartheid; no half skim mocha vente frappappucino was available; WHAT TORTURE!
As to the John Wooden stuff-are we supposed to forget that like most successful NCAA college coaches he looked the other way or pretended not to know Sam Gilbert was keeping his guys in late model cars, hot threads and c-notes. And he got away with that because 1. he won and 2. because he won dumbass reporters like King preferred to write nonsense like this than look behind the facade.Rick Pitino would still be getting the same softball treatment spare after horus fun with a crazy chick under a table at a Louisville Italian retaurant. “Winner Within” my ass.
That’s Hellen Keller
Can’t you just picture PK chucking to himself and maybe even breaking out a fist pump when he stumbled on that godawful Anne Frank pun? Maybe it’s just me, but I find that 1000x more offensive than anything Drew’s written here or anywhere else.
“And I read 375 pages of the magnetizing The Girl Who Played With Fire by Stieg Larsson.”
Fuckin’ magnets, how do they work?
**sigh**
Some people haven’t seen clerks 2…….
I can tell, though, after just one day, that Cape Town should be a destination point for any adventurous traveler. Beautiful in itself and accessible to so many other amazing places. Just come when the weather is a bit nicer. Our summer is their winter.
If my employer paid for it, I would go at the worst time of year and keep my noise hole shut about the weather. Fatass.
I just went to the Anne Frank House two weeks ago. So let me do my own FJM takedown of that section (albeit less funny than Drew’s):
There was no context.
True there wasn’t that much background like the exhibit at the US Holocaust Museum. But there was an introductory video about the rounding up of Jews in Amsterdam. I thought that was decent context.
No real attempt to show the place exactly as it was. There were lots of signs, no furniture, short videos and never a sense of what it was like to live there.
That’s because, as it said in the free guide book they hand out, the Nazis totally pillaged the place when they discovered Jews were there. So no original furniture survived. Yes they could’ve tried to recreate it, but fake furniture probably would’ve been out of place. Also, they had the original wall paper in Anne’s room full of photos that SHE HERSELF cut out. I thought that was pretty chilling.
…no moment of terrible sadness and grief for her like you feel when you read her diary. I kept trying to understand what it was really like but could never feel it.
I understand it’s hard to get a feel of the place when it’s packed with fat American tourists wearing hats and shorts. But I thought they still did a good job explaining how they constantly had to be quiet for fear of capture; how they were all cramped in an attic (what most people don’t realize is that there was a second family in addition to the Frank’s in the attic). And there are quotes all over the wall from her diary describing these grim details. So it’s just like reading her diary (albeit much more briefly). But I think it’s really sad he couldn’t feel anything when you go through the secret door behind the bookcase and up the small staircase. That was pretty harrowing.
Overall, I actually expected to have King’s reaction but was thoroughly impressed with the house. So Peter King, once again proves he’s an idiot.
Well, we lost nine games in six years with us quarterbacking.
Back in ’82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.
McDaniels must have gone with him to Africa to obtain a sample of the super-duper AIDS from the country with one of highest rates of HIV in the world. Or King can just sleep with a hooker from South Africa and get it back to McDaniels.
@ Bugg
Meh. Wooden had plenty of success before Gilbert came into the picture. 11 years as high school coach, 2 at IN state, 16 at UCLA. Never had a losing record, and won 2 NCAA titles. You can say it was Gilbert who got Lew Alcindor to go to UCLA, or you can say that John Wooden was a good recruiter and coach who had built UCLA into a national power. Prove it either way.
In retrospect, I’m really glad Belichick didn’t let McDaniels talk to the media while he was here. What a shithead. King and McDaniels is a mind-numbingly retarded conversation.
How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains? Yeah, Coach would have put me in fourth quarter, we would’ve been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.
@Marvin Harrison will allegedly unload a clip in a mofo says
How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?
DAMN IT!!
**sigh**
Some people haven’t seen clerks 2…….
/ checks box office records.
Lots of people haven’t seen Clerks 2.
Silly me, I was certain King wouldnt know what the hell he was talking about with the WC, glad he cleared that up!
“I’ve read a lot of the great page-turning writers over the years — John Grisham, Richard Patterson, Harlan Coben. The late Stieg Larssen … isn’t the writer they are but he’s got a way of tying you to the pages until you’re finished. Maybe something got lost in the translation from the book (written in Swedish); I don’t know.”
Wow, there’s a ringing endorsement for Stieg Larsson.
Oh hey guys, I just got done reading a book the other day, and do you know John Grisham and Richard Patterson? Well, this guy isn’t as good as them. But I did manage to finish the book, although I think there was something kinda fucked up about the translation.
/runs right out to buy everything Stieg Larsson has ever wrtten
“Josh McDaniels bristled when I asked about nepotism.”
But I assured him that I would spin for him like a top after four double lattes.
”Nepotism is for other people to talk about, but we learned a long time ago that’s no part of our vocabulary.”
And we decided that learning the English language was better left for Neal Smiff and Dexter Manley.
“I kept trying to understand what it was really like but could never feel it.”
Anne was as over-rated as Sean Taylor, a guy who never lived up to his potential. She could have been more worthy of that lofty draft pick.
June 14: Guest columnist
June 21: Guest columnist
June 28: I’ll be back, catching up on everything that went down in the NFL while I was in South Africa
July 5: Guest columnist
July 12: Guest columnist
July 19: Guest columnist
July 26: I’ll be back for good
So he’s on a free vacation now, and doesn’t have to “work” until fuckin August.
Incredible.
“many of you think the mega-spill is not the fault of the guy who pumps the gas or the local manager who runs the BP gas station, and of course it isn’t. ”
it’s Obama’s fault Peter.
Yeah, slothrop, that pretty much covers it.
I mean he can find humor in a fart machine, but not horror in the Anne Frank house? Maybe that isn’t surprising.
BM weight
That was funny as hell.
Here’s hoping that Peter posts to http://www.ratemypoo.com
@yeatdog
/throws football directly into videocam on tripod…
A few things — 1) Went to the Anne Frank house years ago, and cried. Especially when I saw the marks on the wall indicating the childrens’ heights. How can a place like that not move someone? And how does an overpaid fat sports writer get to complain that a place where people hid from genocide was a disapointment??
2) Cape Town – have been and yes, it’s gorgeous, but it’s about as far from “real” Africa as you can get. It’s basically a European town dropped onto the African coast. In any case, can’t wait to hear about how PK is so mad the Slave Museum doesn’t hold actual slaves so he could get a better context of what they went through.
I’m convinced that if it wasn’t for nepotism, probably 30% of American adults would be perpetually jobless. So let’s hear it for nepotism, providing steady employment for the lazy and incompetent for 35,000 years now (approx.).
I only have a problem with it, of course, because nobody in my family has ever been in a position to give me a job. I need to get a better family. Like marry into one, I guess.
On what globe is Amsterdam at the “top” of the world? Couldn’t he have just written: “Flew from Amsterdam to Cape Town”? Most adults are aware that that is a long fucking flight. The drama queening “from the top of the world to the bottom” bullshit really isn’t necessary. He needs to be a lot more judicious in his use of hyperbole. And all the other words, too.
RE Warner vomit Tweet: Jesus… I guess it’s appropriate, though. Most Twitter info appears to be word vomit, anyway.
@Me said: Lil’ McDaniels: “Hey, back in High School I was pretty decent”.
Hey, it worked for Matt Cassell…
PK wouldn’t know a good book if was jerking him off in the back of a bus.
[www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net]
“We tried to sail to Robben Island Sunday to see where Nelson Mandela spent 18 of his 27 years in prison, but the weather cancelled our plans. ”
The wife had a little bit of a head cold and she only likes to see landmarks when it’s sunny out anyway and I heard there is not a decent restaurant anywhere out there. Maybe they can do the whole jail-and-torture-theme and do a better job of it than the people did at that Anne Frank house thing. I really want to feel the whole Mandela-ish prison experience.
“…you have to protest in some way when you see horrible injustice…” And my way is by never clicking to any PK article. He gets paid how much to write this dreck?
What’s amazing to me is that, on a flight from Amsterdam to Cape Town, King spent over 11 hours doing nothing other than consuming American mass media. Flying over Chad? Episode of Curb. Over the Kivu District? The Office. It’s startling that he could be so insular that, after making a conscious choice to not watch tv, he still managed to refrain from, you know, LOOKING AT AFRICA.
“Other great voids of Peter’s sportswriting career”
Thanks for making mer laugh out loud in tghe middle of the office!
Dude on the plane next to me last night was reading that Larsson book. He didn’t look too tied to the pages.
Whatever-
Wooden was a great coach.
At some point though he,being amiable and smart, figured out buttering up lazy sportwriters with empty platitudes was money in the bank. Plus who’s going to tell the full story on the beloved coach? Who wants to be the turd in the punchbowl? And hard to argue with it; it works for Jim Boheim, Jim Calhoun and Dean Smith and a host of others, writing bullshit books with those same lazy sportwriters . Bob Knight would sooner tell them go fuck themselves sideways, and there’s nothing more depressing to a lazy sportwriter than a subject who thinks you are less useful than a pile of week old dogshit.
And ultimately for all the rosy prose, both Wooden and Knight probably ran their players equally ragged in practice. May be one yelled more, but that’s style not substance. And substantively Knight never had or wanted a Sam Gilbert. And now there’s no place for a guy like Knight he wouldn’t run a program like Boheim or Pitino or Calipari does now. Wooden had wonderful catchphrases, but big fucking deal. he cheated if politely.
Ultimately college basketball is an open sewer. Andf they should have turned the D-league into something like junior hockey or minor league baseball. You will know this once you have kids and start having to save to pay for their college. When assholes like Dick Vitale suggest a free ride at State U(where tuiition hikes are galloping way ahead of inflation for the last quarter century) is not enough for some spoiled basketball player, I Iiterally want to garrot that lazy-eyed fuck with my 529 statement.
Stieg Larsson? How does he find time to write books in between seasons of Deadliest Catch?
Very prolific, even for a Swede.
“Isn’t it funny how growing up I couldn’t stand the look or smell of vomit… now that I have kids I step in, catch, clean up without blinking”
–@kurt13warner, the former Rams and Cardinals quarterback, late Tuesday night after his 6-year-old son felt sick after eating ice cream, asked his father for a bucket because he was going to be sick and then, indeed, did throw up — but not before, in mid-vomit, he said to Warner: “Told you Dad!”
So can it be inferred that PK followed up with Kurt Warner for the back story on this? The tweet itself wasn’t that detailed. What a scoop!
That retard could get context of slavery from a few sheds in the back yard of a southern mansion but he can’t get context from the Anne Frank house? It’s like he wants everyone to think he’s a complete douchebag.
…when I brought three things to the curb: a white kitchen garbage bag with four days of house trash, a much larger clear plastic bag with a weekend of paper goods recycling and newspapers, and a bin of commingled plastic, glass and aluminum cans.
But after that, it’s Business Time.
Well played, Stu.
Helen Thomas ” retired ” after her comments on Israel. Hopefully this fat fekk will do the same when the WC is over.
Between the BM weights that caught me by surprise and the complete way PK is unable to feel the suffering within the Anne Frank house, this takedown was top-notch.
Now someone fetch that man some coffee flavored sewage so that we may be rid of him once and for all.
/It’s the superAids brew Peter…
@ Bugg
Very well stated sir.
Oh, God. Why am I not surprised that Peter thinks John Grisham, Richard Patterson and Harlen Coben are great writers? Better writers than Stieg Larson … in the way that Applebee’s is “better” than an authentic neighborhood place.
What did we ever do without recycling? Found myself thinking that the other day…
Peter King is America’s unfunny version of Karl Pilkington. Oooh Chimpanzee-that COFFEE NEWS!
Not to get technical but shouldn’t the liquid shit be measured in fluid ounces or liters or something?
Another Home Run Drew thanks !
As someone who has been to the Anne Frank House, you would have to be a complete fucking retard to not know the context of the fucking house. I was stoned seven ways to China when I went and I got the context, so there is no excuse for Peter Fucking King to not get it.
Listen, Pete, see that? That ladder? THAT FUCKING LADDER THAT TAKES YOU UP TO THEIR HIDING SPOT THAT YOU CAN TELL IS CLEARLY FUCKING CONCEALED BY A FUCKING BOOKCASE? Got it?
That alone should give you a context needed, asshole. I can’t wait for his smashing commentary about the World Cup.
WHY ISN’T THERE A LITTLE GIRL COWERING THE CORNER AND CLUTCHING A DOLL?
Actually, that’s what Roman Polanski said while visiting the Anne Frank house.
/Filmdrunk’d
I have a serious question:
Does this fat asshole ever visit a tourist attraction that isn’t shrouded in tragedy/oppression? First it’s the Tennessee slavery museum, then it’s the Kennedy assassination book depository, then it’s Arlington Cemetery (what action!), followed by the Anne Frank house and his disappointment in not seeing Nelson Mandela’s prison cell. What’s next? The DC sniper van? Sharon Tate’s house? Go to a fucking amusement park once in a while you depressing douchebox.
@Ditmas, I think he also went to the Lorraine Motel when he was in Memphis.
I love that the reporter who a major sports magazine sends to cover the World Cup has to “get up to speed” with the event on his flight there. Who thought it was a good idea to send this d-bag to cover a soccer tournament?
I like how he throws in the Drogba comment in parentheses – a token soccer comment to reassure us, “Yeah, I spent this whole column bitching about how sites of national tragedies don’t make him feel sad enough, but here, look, I totally know about soccer.”
I literally laughed out loud when I read PK’s list of writers he thought were good. Maybe we should just throw some Tom Clancy books at PK when he wants reading material to shut him up.
And what was with the Drogba comment? Stop trying to pretend you know anything about soccer. Congrats, you watched ESPN. “Tell you what, that Lionel Messi sure can play.”
Peter King is like school in the summertime!
School in the summertime?
(@Ditmas) Yeah bitch school in the summatime open ya fuckin ears ho!!!….all the King’s horses and all the King’s men couldn’t round up a cup of Zulu blend? No really. I’m asking. This man is somebody dammit! Maybe. Most likely. Probably. For the most part. I guess.
Dear Mr King,
I hope you get robbed in a dark Cape Town alley. You get robbed of your precious hard found “good” coffee. Whilst being robbed you run, as you turn to run you slip on the warm, slippery kit kat wrapped that had fallen from your fat slimy fingers. As you fall you land on the sharp end of a pineapple you massive flog!
I know little about soccer but to see a journo brushing up on the fundamentals of the world cup a week out from the cup reading a couple of SI writes is reeeedicilus.
Drogba.. the best you got is Drogba… Fack me you might as well have mentioned Cristiano Ronaldo was a good looking ghey looking bastard for the credibility it would give you. pppffftttttt
Peter King might be the single most repellent person in the US, more so than Helen Thomas, who at least knew she is a nasty twat and accepted it.
“Hey, that Mandela jail thing, I didn’t get a good feel, the curators need to do a better job for me.”
“Sean Taylor, didn’t live up to his potential.”
“Anne Frank’s house, not sure about the whole thing. I didn’t get a feel for how things might have been. I expected more pictures of dead Jews.”
“I think Pol Pot was just a misunderstood guy, he was an intellectual and knew the value of dark roast.”
“Maybe they could have piped in some sounds of children being tortured in the holocaust memorial, to give me a better feel for how things were.”
“Cuba is a really great vacation place. gorgeous, and the women are so sexy, and open. The populace is just so giving and caring, they will do anything for a dollar.”
“I was expecting to be able to quaff a cold beer in the Vatican, a nice Italian Peroni. Delicious beer.”
[www.youtube.com]
They get it – why can’t PK?
Picture Test