HASSAN CHOP!

Even if Jay Glazer has cornered the market of NFL player MMA instruction, perhaps there’s still room in the burgeoning athlete fitness marketplace for Drew Rosenhaus to school them in the ways of the Flaming Brick Chop. Why should pass rushers merely push over opposing blockers when they can cleave them at the midsection with their mighty hands? Sure, for full effect you need to set the victim on fire first, but Rosenhaus was just getting ready to tell you the following lesson is FIRE BREATH.

Also, he’s gonna have to up his take when your rookie contract is being renegotiated.

In further NFL-related YouTubery, Greg Jennings had a minor guest role on CBS’ Criminal Minds, which is one of those shows Jim Nantz is always bugging viewers to watch FOLLOWING AN ALL-NEW 60 MINUTES, EXCEPT FOR THOSE ON THE WEST COAST. I think it says more about Criminal Minds that I’m more shocked that the guy who plays Hank on Breaking Bad is on the show than the fact that they gave Greg Jennings a couple lines in a random episode.

Still, that is some passable line delivery, Mr. Jennings. Now can you and the rest of your colleagues just hurry up and play football again? Because I was just forced to watch 30 seconds of goddamn Criminal Minds and the more I think about that, the less I like myself and what I do for a living.