Finally, they found a way to take a perfectly enjoyable activity like watching the entire NFL Draft over a two-day drunken stupor and needlessly change it so viewers have to create elaborate plans to watch it in staggered installments with their friends. Better yet, they made it so you can’t even really get trashed during the most exciting part because people have to work the next day! Thanks, tardwits.

Maj, Punte, Andrew Dice Magary and myself are holed up in KOGOD’s palatial Bethesda, Md. estate watching the broadcast, so if the live blog suddenly goes down, you’ll know it was because of a runaway lacrosse game gone destructive.

With still extant but mostly discounted rumors suggesting that the Redskins could trade up for a quarterback, the Vikings maybe taking Tim Tebow, the Bengals eying add yet another troubled project in Dez Bryant and Ben Roethlisberger possibly getting dealt to some shitty team for a supplemental pick in the MLB Draft, there’s an outside chance you could be witness a mass suicide through the medium of chat. Lucky you!

Also, early condolences to the families of fans of the team that selects Jimmy Clausen. At least religious nuts can enjoy Tebow. Everyone hates Clausen (except Kiper). Occupants of said unfortunate city will stranded for months because planes will be unable to negotiate the looming douchecloud.