marinozubaz

  • Dan Marino’s wife once bought him Madras shorts, but he took one look at them, shook his head, stuck them in the PIZAZZ MACHINE and this is what he got. And yes, the guy with the Pedo mustache comes with every pair. [HotHotJapanHot]
  • The LT OG (the LB!) claims that he downed 41 Coors Lights the night he was drafted. [Freddie the Obvious Punchline Making Android Clone of Dan Cortese says: "BETTER TO CHASE THE COKE WITH, HUH?"]

  • Bird law Weed law in this country the NFL is not governed by reason. [SB Nation's Hunter S. Orson]
  • Ryan Matthews, the running back the Chargers stupidly traded up to take with their first round pick, lists playing World of Warcraft as one of his hobbies.

    [Door flies open]

    riversface

    LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROY A-JENNNNNNNNKINS

    I mean

    YA BETTA ASK SOMEBODDDDDAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

    Well done, young shitlet. Video games keep you repulsive to the opposite sex. Stay abstinent, my new scapegoat!”

  • The Madden curse is just an elaborate fiction made up to sell moon pies and penny whistles. [Kotaku]
  • ESPN deploys its Legal Eagle to look at the difference between the Eric Foster and Big Ben sexual assault allegations. He concludes that because neither the NFL nor the Colts decided to discipline Foster, the circumstances must have been vastly different than Ben’s situation. Well yeah, that and it wasn’t his second unproven allegation, guy. THAT’S THE NFL STANDARD!