drink

LaDainian Tomlinson’s Green Goddess starts with Macallan scotch that’s been aged as long as he’s been in the league. Combine that with some melon liqueur and plenty of Sprite to complete the green hue and watered down effect.

Yesterday I received a chat message from the great Spencer Hall, who wanted to share with me a magical cocktail of his own creation. He it calls it The Jamarcus Hustle.

Take a 32 oz Big Gulp cup, fill with crushed ice, and add the following:

• 5 parts vodka
• 3 parts banana liqueur
• Top with whole heavy cream
• Garnish with entire Cinnabon on rim of cup.

Cost: $34 million a glass

It’s both delicious and practical. This got us thinking about other NFL inspired cocktails which you can find after the jump.

Shawne Merriman’s Tequila Sunrise

• 2/3 oz. Schnapps, peach
• 1 1/3 oz. Vodka
• 1 1/3 oz. Cranberry Juice
• 1 1/3 oz. Orange Juice
• 100 mg GHB

Combine ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Serve and block doorway to nearest exit.

Jimmy Clausen’s Jimmy Juice

Fill a collins halfway with ice then add…

• 4 oz. Jไgermeister
• 4 oz. Red Bull
• Mist of Axe Body Spray

Spike hair, pop collar, then consume and repeat.

Tony Gonzalez’s Macrobiotic Liquid Diet

• 4 oz. Trader Joe’s Green Plant Juice
• Splash of Green Tea
• 2 oz. organic vodka
• 2 oz. unfiltered Amazon rain water

Serve in lettuce wrap glass

Eli Manning – Mother’s Milk

• 1 oz. Butterscotch Schnapps
• 1 oz. Goldschlager
• 1 oz. Olivia Manning’s Breast Milk

Shake all ingredients with ice and strain into a sippy cup.

Peyton Manhattan

• 3/4 oz sweet vermouth
• 2 1/2 oz bourbon whiskey
• 1 dash Angosturaฎ bitters
• 1 maraschino cherry
• 1 twist orange peel

Mix ingredients expertly. Choke on final sip.

Kurt Warner’s Salvation

• 2 oz communion wine
• 1 oz holy water

Stir. Say prayer and give drink to thirsty person.

Rex Ryan’s Slimonade

• 2 oz clarified butter
• 1 tablespoon of crumbs from the bottom of a bucket of chicken
• 4 oz gin
• 8 oz of lemonade

Mix all ingredients and serve in a pint glass.

Add your own in the comment section if you’re so inclined.