The Lions seem to be making incremental gains in talent with each passing year since the exorcism of Dark Lord Millenstopheles, though it’s still a little premature to call them a decent team. They are, however, displaying marked gains in the capacity to amuse and delight, what with coach Schwartz publicly beating off to Jahvid Best highlights, while a helmeted, tube socked, ’97 era South Park shirted Zack Follett wanders into a CVS Target in search of tampons and Barbie Band-Aids to administer to the punished opponents of this year’s team.

With all these high jinx, I dare say my image of the Lions could very well change from

kinglion

to

lionclown

Chew chew!

/shoots water out of boutonniere