Name: Sam Bradford
College: Oklahoma, the program that has given us the likes of Josh Heupel, Nate Hybl, and Jason White. That’s good pedigree!
Strength: Hitting wide open receivers.
Weakness: AC joint.
Ethnicity: Bradford is 1/16th Cherokee and is a citizen of the Cherokee Nation. He is the great great granddaughter of Susie Walkingstick, an implement Bradford will become familiar with after enduring 70 sacks as a rookie.
Suggested Cherokee Name: Winces In Pain
Story ESPN Will Shove Down Your Throat: He’s an underdog! He was just a three star recruit coming out of high school, and he was routinely ranked behind the likes of Juice Williams and Pat Devlin. To this day he still reads the story of David and Goliath prior to games. It’s a great way to psyche yourself up for a 64-0 win over a bewildered Idaho State team. Not so big now, are you, Goliaths of Pocatello?
Who Wants Him: The Redskins, but I’m guessing the feeling isn’t mutual.
Who Will Take Him: The Rams.
Is His Girlfriend “Facebookable“: Apparently so.
Immediate Impact: Starts Week 1, goes on IR by Week 12.
Down the Road: Overcomes multiple injuries to win the distinction as the league’s best golfing quarterback over future Redskins quarterback Tony Romo.
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The guy has native talent, but the Redskins have their reservations.
You win this thread, Sir
The guy has native talent, but the Redskins have their reservations.
I thought his Cherokee name was “Throws Like Girl”?
The good thing about McNabb going to the Skins is I don’t have to stop the hate. Only now I can root for a Theisman II. Break a leg, Donovan, break a fucking leg!!
His Cherokee name should be “Smells Like Plunkett.”
Cherokee? No fucking way! I could have sworn he was at least 1/4 Choctaw. You just never know with some people.
/not really
//do we really need another Pennington in the ligg?
I had no idea that he’s only a 1/16th Indian. Fuck, I am 1/8th, and I’m so damn white I glow in the dark. Genes are weird.
Also, I felt compelled to mention that I have a picture of Jason White being sacked by Lionel Turner in the NC game hanging over my bed, and if not for that, I would have already forgotten about Jason White.
College: Oklahoma, the program that has given us the likes of Josh Heupel, Nate Hybl, and Jason White. That’s good pedigree!
You forgot The Boz? For shame.
Think I read Bradford got asked once what he thought of the Redskins. His answer was something like, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
But will Sam win the distinction of being the smiling-est QB in the league???
“Overcomes multiple injuries to win the distinction as the league’s best golfing quarterback over future Redskins quarterback Tony Romo.”
FUCK YOU! That’s not even funny.
Tony will always be best golfing quaterback EVER!
Bradford is Chad Pennington waiting to happen, but without the stupid-high completion percentage.
This may be a pretty deep draft if you’re looking for a NT, but the QBs are shit this year.
Don’t stop the Bradford hype machine. Every article about how good his shoulder feels brings the Lions closer and closer to the chance to ruin Ndamukong Suh’s career.
It’s a fucking a crap shoot. “Bradford had all day to throw to great receivers,” so he won’t be good. “Clausen is a better prospect because he didn’t play on a great team, but was still a great quarterback,” so he’ll be good.
One thing that is true: Clausen is a cocky piece of shit. I hated seeing that little cunt pumping his fist after ND beat Washington. I can’t say he will fail in the NFL, but I hope he does.
Bradford leads the league in brittleness… But seriously if Romo ever joins the Redskins, I will literally jump off the top of FedEx during his first game. It’s hard enough to stomach Mcnabb after so many years of wishing terrible things to happen to him and his family.
@ Billy
I totally agree, even though this is written with a handful of snark.
Todd McShay described Bradford at his pro day as having a “weaker arm than Stafford” and a “system QB” as he gave a ringing endorsement as the #1 overall pick.
Mike Golic doesn’t always have the most sound analysis but I agree with him when he says you can’t simulate being sacked on your shoulder at a Pro Day…
@miamidiesel I totally agree. Remember the lofty days when the near-universal consensus was that Suh or Gerald McCoy were the only ones worth the #1 overall pick, and Bradford was a kinda-sorta-maybe first rounder? I love the second “real” season of college football that runs from January to April. There’s no hitting, rushing, or real playing of football, but apparently it’s more important than the one during the fall that involves real games where payers actually do stuff. Shit, they should just cancel the fake season and have the entire year just be players running shuttle drills and running passing plays in shorts.
How good is he at Call Of Duty?
I’d want him drafted by the Skins just so we can get a plethora of Indian jokes.
And yes El Guapo, I know what a plethora is.
Wow, I’m a tard. WHOSE
FIX YO GRAMMAR
Insert “have a little injun in ya” joke here.
And who’s feeling of desire with the ‘Skins is EVER mutual?
Strength: Hitting wide open receivers.
Weakness: AC joint.
Well played, sir.
I’m still amazed that Bradford completed *49 out of 50* passes during his workout last week. I mean, it’s not like there was a pass rush coming or anyone guarding his receivers, but whatever, 98% completion is 98% completion. Sign that man as up as #1 pick in the draft and send the Brinks truck to his house!!!
/there’s no excuse for KONG not to be #1 pick this year
For what it’s worth I’d say this is probably the most accurate analysis I’ve read on Bradford on the whole internet.
It defines clutch. Much like Bradford’s shoulder defines brittleness.
Cherokee Nation > Red Sox Nation?!?! Release the Fakin!!