There is a difference between a movie I’m willing to watch over and over again, and a movie that I think is great or something like that. Just because I think a movie is amazing doesn’t mean I want to see it a hundred times. I thought “There Will Be Blood” was one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. But I don’t think I ever want to see it again. Conversely, I could watch shit like “Blades of Glory” 500 times. And it’s not like I’m picking up new subtleties every time I watch it. It’s “Blades of Glory”. It’s mildly diverting. It just happens to be mildly diverting even if I’m watching it the thousandth time. I think it’s because of that chick in the leather tube top in Ferrell’s sex rehab group. She’s an animal.
Anyway, with that in mind, we dug down and did a draft that centered around this question: If you were only allowed to watch one movie over and over again the rest of your life, what would you pick? The proverbial desert island movies, although screw the island. You get to watch them at home, with a couch and beer and stuff.
The rules: Pick one movie. No picking of entire trilogies or something. And let us also assume you still have free access to all the porn you like, so only REAL movies. Three rounds. The order:
Flubby
Falco
Ape
Caveman
Punter
Maj
Drew
Off we go.
1. Flubby – The Big Lebowski
“Was there any doubt?”
2. Falco – Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
“Its timeless blend of sweetness and determination reminds me of the sturdy play of one of my favorite players, Wes Welker. We could all learn a lesson from Capra’s classic.”
3. Ape – The Sandlot
“You probably needed to be 10 the first time you saw it.”
I was SO not expecting that pick. It’s “Stand By Me” for Ape’s generation.
4. Ufford – The Princess Bride
“Luckily for me, the best movie I saw at a formative age wasn’t The Sandlot.”
KITTEN’S GOT CLAWS!
5. Punter – The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King
“Chock full of badassery. Plus I could nap during the 45-minute dénouement.”
I will never get tired of the ghost army appearing and fucking shit up. Always brings me joy.
6. Maj – Annie Hall
Maj is one of two people I know who think Woody Allen is greatest filmmaker of all time. This subset of humanity goes by the collective term of “Dipshits”.
7. Drew – The Godfather
It just so happens the greatest movie of all time also happens to be the most consistently entertaining one as well. Seriously, if you told me this was the only movie I could watch for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t even be that upset, unless…
8. Drew – True Romance
…it meant I never get to see Drexl Spivey again. THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR FUCKING WITH ME… WHITE BOY!
9. Maj – Apocalypse Now Redux
“It holds up well after multiple viewings and I can always fast forward through a couple of the extended scenes that drag on a bit.”
10. Punter – Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy
Your guess is as good as mine.
11. Ufford – Out Of Sight
“Cool as fuck EVERY time, and one of my favorite sex scenes in cinema.”
It’s also amazing how much charisma Jennifer Lopez lost after this film was made. She’s awesome in this movie. Ever since, she’s been horrendous.
12. Ape – LA Confidential
You got a big GUILTY sign hanging around your neck.
13. Falco – The Bodyguard
“Talk about romantic!”
14. Flubby – Glengarry Glen Ross
15. Flubby – Caddyshack
They should’ve remade both those movies and switched casts. John F. Barmon, Jr. would have made a fine Blake. “My name is DOUBLE TURDS!”
16. Falco – Anchorman
“Stay classic, San Diego! God, I never get tired of that line. San Diego is a dolphin’s vagina!”
17. Ape – Monty Python And The Holy Grail
“Nerrrrrrddddddd”
Now this is a movie I’ve actually seen a lifetime supply of. Seriously, I’ve seen it 100 times at least. That’s the question of this draft: Do you pick a movie you already know you can tolerate multiple times, or do you pick a movie you think you’ve only begun to rewatch?
18. Ufford – Miller’s Crossing
“It’s not my favorite Coen Brothers movie, but I enjoy the act of Drew not getting it.”
That fucking piece of shit. Obviously, I was poised to take it, if only for this exchange:
Verna: What’re you chewin’ over?
Tom: Dream I had once. I was walkin’ in the woods, I don’t know why. Wind came up and blew me hat off.
Verna: And you chased it, right? You ran and ran, finally caught up to it and you picked it up. But it wasn’t a hat anymore and it changed into something else, something wonderful.
Tom: Nah, it stayed a hat and no, I didn’t chase it. Nothing more foolish than a man chasin’ his hat.
God dammit, that movie is perfect.
19. Punter – The Adventures of Milo and Otis
Strictly for its erotic value to Punter, I would imagine. I should have picked “An American Carol” for him.
20. Maj – Animal House
“It will never not make me laugh, and there are some classic 70′s tits to boot.”
21. Drew – Tombstone
Still can’t believe Ufford took “Miller’s Crossing”. Goddamn cuntbar. Yours in the comments. Pick one movie, then wait ten comments to pick again. Anyone who discards the rules will be thrashed.
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Boogie Nights. Obviously.
Groundhog Day
Goodfellas
The Blues Brothers
Excellent music and eternal quotability.
Kingpin “Theres a shit storm comin!”
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Donnie Darko
Back to the Future.
Possibly the most consistently enjoyable movie ever made.
Fletch. No need for further picking from me.
Glad I got in here quick — I’ll take Goodfellas.
Blade Runner
@Jayo- nope
@ Jayo. More like FAILyo. Goodfellas is taken.
Aw, what the Christ, I’ll take Fargo for pick two.
Damn, not fast enough, I guess. Fine then, Unforgiven.
Armageddon.
San Diego is a whale’s vagina, Falco. Get it together, you are better than that.
Pulp Fiction.
Finding Nemo. Gotta have an animated movie.
Sooper Troopers. Done.
Dazed and Confused
Blood Sport for pick two
Matchstick Men, cuntbars.
Scarface
@Hammer, my hate for you is so hard right now.
Fine, if not Pulp Fiction, we’ll go a little higher class.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the 1990 version.
Airplane.
“I take my coffee black. Like my men.”
“Dolphin’s vagina?” Whale’s vagina, ASS.
I choose Blazing Saddles.
Blazing Saddles. Hey, where da white women at?
Ghostbusters.
Empire Strikes Back
Blazing Saddles.
Also- Dolphin’s vagina? It’s whale’s vagina, ASS.
Raising Arizona
Pulp Fiction
I believe it’s “You stay classy, San Diego. “
Time for me to pick raiders.
“Raising Arizona.”
And stop feeding the Falco troll, people. You’re better than that.
Fight Club.
FightClub
damn fucking right
Fight Club.
Godfather II. Only because Godfather was taken.
Resevoir Dogs.
Bad Santa
CC – FAHHHK YOU
I’ll take Ghostbusters
Office Space
“What would you do with a million dollars?”
“Besides two chicks?”
“Well yeah, obviously.”
Since Airplane! is gone, I’ll take The Naked Gun.
fast times at ridgemont high
If I’m here, and you’re here, doesn’t that make it our time?
Airplane, or if already taken, Airplane II
Shit Ghostbuster was taken too.
I hate this game
Kill Bill 1&2
Dammit, too slow.
“The Jerk”
Spaceballs.
“We ain’t found shit.”
Mad props to Uff for “The Princess Bride.”
Hellboy. Goddamn is that movie underrated.
Old School for copious amounts of Will Ferrell male dudeity. Because I’m gay.
The Wild Bunch
“If they move, kill ‘em!”
And, assuming 4 more ppl pick, for my 2nd pick.
Toy Story.
American History X
Braveheart
Dogma
Saving Private Ryan.
dr. strangelove
I’ll take the Departed. FUCK YOU GUYS FOR TAKING TOMBSTONE, GOODFELLAS, AND SUPER TROOPERS! (the only time those 3 movies will ever be mentioned in the same sentence)
Usual Suspects
“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn’t exist.”
Rushmore
Saving Private Ryan
“What’s FUBAR?”
Any Given Sunday. I could watch that movie every day.
“The Good, The Bad and The Ugly”
Double Indemnity. Fred McMurry was a pimp.
Weird Al Yankovik’s UHF
Sin City
Toy Story 2.
the best sequel ever made.
Drunken Master 2
The Seven Samurai
Lord of the Rings; Two Towers. Less gay than ROTK, and Helms Deep battle was better. Downside, no Army of the Dead, which was BadAss in ROTK.
Was gonna take Old School, but while I’m here let’s go with Billy Madison.
Answer-Me FUBAR
Ginger Lynn in Beverly Hills Cox
Shawshank Redemption
The Hangover
“The Good, The Bad and The Ugly”
Nice pick Otto Man!
Are porno movies allowed in here?
I believe Miles is the winner
Clerks or if thats taken Clerks 2.
The Gift. Nap through till Katie Holmes whips em out.
I was gonna take the Departed, but I feel like if I did manage to get saved, I’d come out of it sounding like Tommy.
“The Depahted is the best fackin’ movie eva made. No one denies this!”
/gets goosebumps
I’ll take Inglourious Basterds.
Clerks.
Hard Candy
Enter the Dragon
“The Dark Knight”
The Seven Samurai
Slothrop FTW
Casino.
Duck Soup
SLC Punk
Godfather and Goodfellas are for pussies… ‘Once Upon a Time in America’
Gladiator
This is Spinal Tap
Rumble in the Bronx. Jackie Chan has some fine work in that picture.
Indy Anal Jones and the Temple of Poon
Shaving Ryan’s Privates
Damn Otto, that was my next pick!
I’ll go with Talladega Nights then
Oooh. “Enter the Dragon.” Excellent choice.
Network.
Memento
He forgets every 5 min and so do I
Do The Right Thing
Sixteen Candles
Orgazmo
Young Frankenstein
@Deeznuts I think Drunken Master 2 was the highlight of Chan’s career with the fight scenes
“Raging Bull”
The Maltese Falcon.
Kung Fu Hustle.
Bad-assery!
It Happened One Night
The Castle.
Straight to the pool room.
Baseketball.
Superbad. Man, I love that movie.
Breakfast Club
I second Kingpin – the most underrated movie ever. Ernie McKracken: “She’s a bold face liar. I pulled out of her way early”.
The Hunt for Red October.
@The Black Mexican I don’t disagree, really. But the set pieces and urban shit like ladders to jump through make Rumble my choice. Also, Who Am I? is really pretty fantastic. He’s got some good ones.
Casablanca.
Man, Kung Fu Hustle is a sleeper.
I’ll take “Ong Bak”
Still om the board and great value pick. “The Dirty Dozen”
The Royal Tenenbaums
Gran Tarino
The Great Escape – Steve McQueen is a bad-ass
Oh, man Kung Fu Hustle is so fucking cool.
Iron Man. Value!
“His Gal Friday.” I won’t lie. I’d let Cary Grant have his way with me.
“Children of Men” and we can just fastforward through the birth scene. Everything else is awesome though.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
RDJ’s best
Last of the Mohicans
American History, Romance, guerilla warfare and fort siege, Violence with awesome American Indian weaponry like Tomahawks and scimitar-like blades, suicide, French villains, self-sacrifice, burning someone alive at the stake, beautiful Hudson Valley setting, one of the 5 best leading men ever, peak Madeleine Stowe and great fiddle soundtrack
Bridge over the River Kwai
The Right Stuff (late round value….)
Well, that’s three people who don’t read the post OR the tags.
Cool Hand Luke.
‘I can eat fifty eggs.’
Rambo
“Way of the Dragon”
Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Fucking Norris
Casablanca
Iron Man 2
I’m just that sure of it.
Tracer Bullet — damn straight. I’ll take North by Northwest.
Not to digress too much but if we are only allowed to pick one movie to watch forever, how can we make multiple picks?
That being said I’ll take “Natural Born Killers”.
Planet of the Apes..not just for the “Get your stinkin’ paws off me, you damn dirty ape” line, but the soon to follow line, “Shut up, you freak!!!”
Evil Dead 2
Patton – Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.
@yeah, right?
Had that same exact thought…
“Waiting for Guffman”
“I’m right here. Why are you whispering?”
Only one pick required- Beerfest.
Try not to drink a six pack during that, just try! It’s perfect to watch and laugh at, or perfect as background noise for a friendly gathering.
Good Will Hunting. MATT DAMON.
“Well, that’s three people who don’t read the post OR the tags.”
They were busy watching porn when they should have been reading those.
Next pick: Batman Begins
Shit. Casablanca off the board. Alright then, the 1933 King Kong.
Patton.
The Great Muppet Caper
But only if I have access to weed
“Goldfinger” And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you make a late-round value pick.
Tora Tora Tora
Bull Durham
Just skip the last ten minutes and you’re good to go.
“He hit the fucking the bull. Guess he wins a goddamn steak.”
“You told him what I was gonna throw”
“Yep”
@Matt Leinart’s Beer Bong Patton’s already taken
House of 1000 Corpses.
“We’re gonna get fucked up and do fucked up shit!”
Team America. Derka, Derka.
shit too slow.
The Dirty Dozen
@yeah, right?
Multiple tray DVD player makes your incredibly astute observation null and void.
Desperado. Salma Hayek titties? Yes, please.
The Lion King. That movie fixes everything. I’d be off the island in no time, and if not, hakuna matata.
Well, that’s three people who don’t read the post OR the tags.
Sorry, still hungover.
The Shawshank Redemption.
NO ONE DENIES THIS.
The Adventures of Robin Hood, 1938 Errol Flynn version
Full Metal Jacket – Today, you people are no longer maggots. Today, you are Marines. You’re part of a brotherhood. From now on until the day you die, wherever you are, every Marine is your brother. Most of you will go to Vietnam. Some of you will not come back. But always remember this: Marines die. That’s what we’re here for. But the Marine Corps lives forever. And that means YOU live forever.
I’m using my second pick on a prospect- Toy Story 3. Tremendous upside potential.
The Bourne Ultimatum. MATT DAMON AGAIN.
Third pick: The Boondock Saints.
Sleeper!
Kelly’s Heros
Can I trade up Groundhog Day for Aladdin?
Branaugh’s Henry V if only for the St. Crispin’s Day speech which I could watch over and over forever.
Rounders
Better Damon than Hunting and despite Simmons hating Malk, it’s still very rewatchable
Zoolander
Harold & Maude — oh wait, you said no porn…
gross point blank.
“popcorn!”
Damn, I was saving “Goldfinger.” That’s quality draft work.
I’ll shift gears and go with “Stripes.”
and for my 2nd pick, since I am on a deserted island….The Neverending Story.
I would be endlessly entertained….what? Where is my attorney, Mr Lionel Hutz?
South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut!
Boys, I doubt Mr. Garrison ever said “Eat penguin shit, ass spelunker”
The Last Starfighter.
Big Fish.
Dumb and Dumber, first movie that I bought on DVD that I already had on VHS (it wore out) it’s basically two movies in one! (road trip and then once they are in Aspen)
PCU
Wait. The whole picking twice thing that’s going on here is stupid as fuck. The point is you get ONE movie to watch over and over for the rest of your life. You can’t take three.
Il Nuovo Cinema Paradiso
Dammit, I wasn’t fast enough to get Fargo.
I’ll go with Best in Show.
The Meaning of Life
“Can we have your liver then?”
@Don’t Mess With the Revis
Post says there’s three rounds
Dumb N Dumber
Die Hard
@Stuckey I vill splash the pot whenever the fuck I please.
Wild Wild West.
I like Will Smith, and I have seen this movie 100 times.
@the black mexican
i thought groundhog day was an inspired choice, given the circumstances.
Coming to America. The barbershop scenes alone are classic
fuck
Friday then
Forrest Gump
TNT has me for 3 hours every fucking time that comes on
This draft took a turn for the horrible right around ‘the Lion King.’ Jeebus, some of you people need to hit Netflix for something filmed before Pulp Fiction. /film snob
Clockwork Orange
Gooooooooooood Morning Vietnam
given the scraps left, I’ll go with Easy Rider
SEXUAL CHOCOLATE
“Wait. The whole picking twice thing that’s going on here is stupid as fuck. The point is you get ONE movie to watch over and over for the rest of your life. You can’t take three.”
Yeah, these are other movies we’d watch over for the rest of our lives. For instance, you could watch Blazing Saddles for the rest of your life. Or you could also watch Dumb and Dumber. You mean to tell me you only have one choice for a movie?
A Few Good Men
On the Waterfront – It was you, Charley.
Even commenters can only pick 3 movies? Damn I’ve done about 6. My bad.
In light of this new information, I choose Con Air for my 7th pick.
What about Bob?
Good choice, Don’t You Judge Me
Half Baked
Classic lines aplenty.
Shit man I remember when a dime bag cost a dime.
**
Yeah you know how much condomds cost back then
*uh no*
Neither do I never fucking used em
Fucking MIDNIGHT RUN.
Thats a steal at around the 200th pick.
Requiem for a Dream,
whenever I feel bad about myself, I watch this and by the end I’m like “I’ve got it pretty good” or at the very least I feel lucky to be me (I’ve got two arms still!)
Point Break
He Got Game. Steal of the draft.
Leon The Professional
Oldboy…
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
soemthing before Pulp Fiction….I’ll take Slap Shot(Old time hockey….)
No Country for Old Men.
Yoink.
Jaws
Revenge of the Nerds
“We’ve got bush.”
Snatch! Can’t believe this movie is still on the board!
Snatch
It’s whale’s vagina. You clearly don’t know the movie that well, shitpiece.
Wow, Vacation is still out there, huh?
“Layer Cake.”
Predator
Final pick: the most badass foreign film of all time: “Run Lola Run”
/ looks at final tally: Pulp Fiction, Team America, Run Lola Run. Jerks off to own awesomeness.
The Exorcists – original version — Your mother sucks cocks in Hell, Karras, you faithless slime.
SLAPSHOT.
The Sting.
Pineapple Express
Death Hunt with Charles Bronson and Lee Marvin. It’s impossible to watch that movie and not spend countless hours plotting your escape through the wilderness from a legion of bounty hunters.
Muppet Treasure Island
Cos if I’m on a desert island I want to go sailing for adventure on the big wet blue thing. Also Tim Curry rules.
And for the obscure 7th round pick Withnail & I
Possibly the greatest film ever made!
I don’t advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
Last pick, over my 3, but for when I might need to cannibalize anyone else on the island: Romper Stomper
Magnolia
Withnail & I is a tremendous pick.
A Bridge Too Far
All your favorite actors are belong to me.
“Clue” How did THAT last this long?
Communism was just a red herring.
Vacation
a surprising lack of truffaut and julia roberts on this list.
OOO i know we’re not on an actual island, but Castaway anyone?
No, too long? A little dated? Hm.
Hoosiers
It wouldn’t be my first choice, but I’m a little late to the party.
Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas.
12 Angry Men. Easy.
Joe Dirt
“Don’t try to church it up son”
/Got Dumb and Dumber, Requiem for a Dream and Joe Dirt, pretty fucking good IMHO
Strange Brew.
“Fleshy-headed mutant, are you friendly?”
“No way, eh. Radiation has made me an enemy of civilization.”
damn you irish creme!
Rio Bravo. Best. Western. Ever.
So we’re officially dropping the pretense that Falco is a real person? Finally.
My pick: Ran. Or, frankly, any other three hour Akira Kurosawa blood and guts epic. Not only are those movies endlessly entertaining, I figure that over the years I’ll slowly start to understand what the hell they’re saying, so I’ll be ready when the Japanese whaling fleet finds me on that deserted island.
Silver Streak – Pryor & Wilder at their peak. **GREAT** movie!!
Round 1: Pulp Fiction
Round 2: Baseketball
Round 3: Tombstone
All 3 endlessly quotable. And I probably have the script of all 3 memorized. Why waste brainpower on shit like dressing myself in a color-coordinated fashion and long division?
Dirty Harry
are we limited to 3 picks? What’s the draft record for picks…this one may challenge that.
@Mizinator — I think I took that already. I don’t know how I could improve on my draft, frankly — Casablanca, North by Northwest, Harold & Maude, What About Bob?, and Vacation? I’m done. and @Slothrop — neener neener ‘cuz I beat you to Casablanca, but I couldn’t agree more on the horrid bias toward more recent movies. Though I guess I would’ve liked to have had Seven Samurai.
Somebody else ought to take The Naked Gun.
All these posts and still no one has taken my sleeper:
Willow
The Third Man, featuring a slightly less obese Orson Welles.
Major League
Superman II.
Rocky
Gotta go with … Waiting.
“All I had to say was I’m horny and POOF … like some form of slut magic you’d appear!”
I’ll take Tommy Boy, can’t believe its not taken, searched again to be sure.
Magnolia – Respect the cock! And tame the cunt! Tame it! Take it on headfirst with the skills that I will teach you at work and say no! You will not control me! No! You will not take my soul! No! You will not win this game! Because it’s a game, guys. You want to think it’s not, huh? You want to think it’s not? Go back to the schoolyard and you have that crush on big-titted Mary Jane. Respect the cock. You are embedding this thought. I am the one who’s in charge. I am the one who says yes! No! Now! Here! Because it’s universal, man. It is evolutional. It is anthropological. It is biological. It is animal. We… are… men!
Stripes
oops, Magnolia was taken. my b
Bill Simmons picks Teen Wolf!
@She Blinded Me With Violence: Drew picked Tombstone
sorry some guy.
Hollywood Knights
2nd pick: The Fuckin Truman Show. Should have been my first pick, to be honest. I’ve still only seen it once and I imagine it’s incredibly rewatchable. Also, Magnolia would’ve been my first pick if I had arrived on time.
“Touch of Evil”
Orson Welles’ real masterpiece, with (1) the greatest opening shot in the history of film, (2) Charlton Heston playing a Messican, (3) Janet Leigh getting all kinds of sexy, and (4) Welles himself as one of the great villains. Suck it!
Ghostbusters.
Tropic Thunder.
Gladiator
The frost. Sometimes it makes the blade stick.
Hot Tub Time Machine.
I just got a feeling.
+1 to Clue and Princess Bride
I’ll take Spiderman then.
@Matt C: peak Madeleine Stowe
For more of that, see “Stakeout”
Speed Racer on my magical 72″ 1080p tropical television. Then ride that island out high as fuck.
Eddie Murphy Raw? Not sure if concert movies play here, but I dont see why not.
EVER HAVE YOUR ASS KICKED IN A TWISTER SUIT, EDDIE? RIGHT HAND RED, LEFT HAND BLUE, ITS A GODDAMN GAME TO THESE KIDS.
I’m really surprised at all the people who can’t spell the title of their favorite movie.
Wayne’s World.
And you guys are way late on that one.
@Otto: you forgot Marlene Dietrich also playing some kind of Messican with a German accent. Sexy time.
@UZH
Epic pick I can’t believe it lasted that long and I can’t believe I didn’t think of taking it.
@ Tracer Bullet
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
That was my only pick, I will kill myself instead.
@ She Blinded Me: your choices are now 2/3 invalid. “Pulp Fiction” is mine.
Bachelor Party:
“Hi, come on in! Drugs to the right, hookers to the left.”
dr strangelove. seriously, no one took this movie? peter fucking sellers for the fucking win.
/hoping and praying Little Big League stays on the board!
3rd pick: I Heart Huckabees. The movie I quote most often. I am really fucking pleased with 12 Angry Men, The Truman Show, and I Heart Huckabees, because I am a philosophy major, and thus a total sucker for the last two. And 12 Angry Men is just universally ballin.
You’re absolutely right, Slothrop. Dietrich as a whorehouse madame. God, what a great fucking movie.
dr strangelove. seriously, no one took this movie?
Seriously? No.
Cheech & Chong’s Up in Smoke! How the hell did this last this long? I love me a movie that has a joint the size of my forearm!
pirates of the caribbean (first one)
Bob Roberts. I love that movie. I also know someone who doesn’t understand that it’s a satire.
Independence Day, Empire Strikes Back, Harsh Times, Waiting
+ 1 for SLC Punk earlier
can’t believe it’s still here: “Master and Commander”
Smokey and the Bandit
Back when Burt Reynolds was cool, everyone wanted his Trans-Am, Sally Field was hot, and Radio Shack made a mint selling CB radios.
Did a couple of CTRL+F’s and didn’t see this or any of my future choices.
Menace II Society
Chinatown, only one of the top ten movies of all time!
Otto: you’re right, it is Welles’ masterpiece. Great music, seizure inducing lighting, crazy plot, racism, dirty, morbidly obese cops, heroin. It’s got it all.
Were I still picking, I would draft A Night at the Opera here. Can’t get enough Groucho on my island. That or Joe Vs. the Volcano.
Since Clue was raped from me, I’ll take Road House.
So, if I’m reading this right, and I think I am, we’re all sent off to our own private islands with all of the creature comforts we need, but before we go we all need to get in line at the last remaining Blockbuster, where they have all the movies ever made, but only one copy of each. Sadly, I’m at the back of the line and it’s all been picked over. I ran to get True Romance, but it was gone. Then No Country For Old Men, but gone too. Guess I’ll settle for 40 Year Old Virgin. Or Fifth Element. Meh…
Uncle Buck
The Goonies. Truffle shuffle FTW.
Damn, I’m one hour late! I guess I would take the three movies that I wouldn’t go insane watching over and over again which would be Pulp Fiction (1st), Goodfellas (2nd), Dr. Strangelove (3rd) and Toy Story (4th)
Blood In, Blood Out.
look it up Putos
My Blue Heaven. “Ehh, she’s not my type. I like ‘em… I dunno, kinda dirty or something. “
The Matrix
French Connection
Spartacus – another value pick.
Some Like It Hot
Still hilarious even though it was made 50 years ago, and yeah, Marilyn Monroe wasn’t too bad looking either
Fine – I’ll pick it. “Tootsie”
Gay jokes can be listed below. Thanks.
4th pick: The Manchurian Candidate. The black and white Frank Sinatra/Janet Leigh/Angela Lansbury one (I shouldn’t really have to specify).
Someone please draft ‘Throne of Blood’ and send me an invite to your island with a note in a bottle. MacBeth in feudal Japan? Fuck and Yes.
Cool Hand Luke – I’m killing you guys.
Taken
Fuck the first 40 minutes, once Liam Neeson starts kicking ass that is probably the most entertaining shit I have ever seen
Pick 3: The Conversation. Solid draft, overall.
Heat. Incredible value this late.
Baseketball. It would have been Major League, but some asshat took it first.
Purple Rain
Hoosiers – arguably the best sports movie of all time
Jackie Brown.
HEAT
“because she’s got a GREAT ASS!’
Since I’m a Dapper Dan man…
O’ Brother Where Art Thou
Wow, slim pickens if you get here late
Total Recall
The Program.
Silence of the Lambs
Shaft (the original 1971 movie)
“Hey, where the hell are you going, Shaft?”
“To get laid! Where the hell you going? Haha!”
Which at 300 is out of this WORLD value.
Ocean’s 11
The one with George Clooney, I’m not nearly old enough to have seen the original
“You gotta walk before you crawl.”
Eastern Promises. Best fight scene ever; especially enjoyable for Seahawks fans.
Young Guns.
Im Gonna Git You Sucka!
He OG’d. OverGold.
Direct from hell….
SPINAL TAP.
Greatest. Film. Of. All. Time.
Eastern Promises. Greatest fight scene ever; especially enjoyable for Seahawks fans.
Top Gun? No one took Top Gun? Good, it’s mine!
starship troopers
bugs, guns, and boobs
Boyz N The Hood
I can’t believe “fill in name of obscure, shitty movie” is still here!
Really? You’re shocked that Master and Commander or Clue lasted an hour?
Love the Blood In, Blood Out pick. I forgot about that movie but it is one of my favorites. I could rewatch that on a loop for sure.
@Otto Man – epic win with Touch of Evil, I’ll go down a classic road with my second pick…
Down By Law
Tom Waits, John Lurie and a barely-speaks-english Roberto Benigni escape prison. Amazing.
Were I still picking, I would draft A Night at the Opera here.
Solid value. I’m greedy, so I’m still picking — “Duck Soup.”
The Outlaw Josey Wales. Can’t believe it’s still here.
Kill Bill vol. 1 not taken yet. Never get sick of the Pussy Wagon or Beatrix destroying the Crazy 88′s.
The Final Countdown. USS Nimitz shows up in 1941 and fucks shit up.
Army of Darkness. Hopefully none ofyou dillweeds picked this one already, if so? Go sit on a shit infested spike.
Hot Shots
Blackhawk Down.
I picked up Duck Soup in the third round, Otto. Why don’t you take Horse Feathers?
My post draft, free agent pickup: “MST3K, The Movie: “This Island Earth.” Not an episode of the TV series, but a full length feature that ran in theaters, and is therefore eligible.
“Nor… Mal.. Viewwwwwwwwww!” Trust me, its funny if you’ve seen it, And you’re a nerd.
Once upon a time in the west! S-T-E-A-L
I cna’t believe Rounders fell that far… In fact I’m gonna watch it tonight…
Repo Man.
John Wayne is a fag.
Vertigo
@Mike – good call with Repo Man. Let’s go eat sushi and not pay.
My 3rd pick, HOME ALONE.
How has nobody picked that!?
Terminator
Fear of a Black Hat
The Song Remains the Same
Any of the Paramont Marx Brothers movies are a steal and since Duck Soup is gone and Horse Feathers has been offered up, I’ll move on to Monkey Business(Passport…Name….Maurice Chevalier, eh???)
wanted
Aliens
Game over man.
Super late but I’m scooping up Swingers because I’m an asshole you lives in LA you see.
who lives fuck
The Shining – red rum.
@ben Some Like it Hot fuck and yes, what a good movie
@the hammer is my penis guilty on both accounts
2nd pick – Bar Fly
Bottlerocket
Psycho
/way over the 3 pick limit.
Not much left…
A History of Violence.
Viggo being badass, Bello’s bush, and crazy William Hurt. Aw yeah.
Back Door Sluts 9
Trainspotting
Regardless of the mood, watching Trainspotting helps you get sorted.
Pick #2…Bound.
For the, uh, story. (Story = Gina Gershon/Jennifer Tilly lesbian action)
Just to infuriate the majority of you, I’d burn my only copy of Tombstone, because that movie blows nut. I’d take 3:10 to Yuma, or The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly if I were to chose a Western.
But I wouldn’t select a Western, sooooo let’s go with The Godfather, pt. 2. Superior to the first because Robert DeNiro is a fucking bad ass.
Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.
Be sure and tell ‘em Large Marge sent ya!
3rd pick – I’ll take North by Northwest
Repo Man
Barfly
North by Northwest
nice
Rd 1: The Rock
Rd 2: Mallrats
Rd 3: Garden State
Ricky Henderson don’t just steal bases, Ricky Henderson steal movies from yo fantasy draft!
Wedding Crashers
Better Off Dead
Pick 2: Glory.
I’m not a huge anime fan or anything, but since there’s fuck-all left, I’ll take Ninja Scroll.
Transformers 1, easy, fun, lots of explosions and tits
can’t believe fight club wasn’t in the top 50
The Simpsons Movie
Fuck all of you, I wanted those Kurosawa and Leone picks (not to mention Blues Brothers and Down By Law). Hmm.
Dead Man is still on the board I think, and it’s one of the most beautiful movies I’ve seen.
3-pick limit… wait, what?
For my last pick, I’m taking Mommie Dearest.
My draft:
Enter the Dragon
Good Morning Vietnam
Predator
Rocky
The Matrix
Purple Rain
Boyz N The Hood
Fear of a Black Hat
Mommie Dearest
V for Vendetta
Remember the Titans, so many good denzel movies still up for grabs but I don’t think any of them would be as re-watchable as this
@Lordz of Broncostown: I already took Waiting
2nd pick: Suicide Kings
What the fucks a “busket”?
Waiting
Suicide Kings
Man… my stupid job keeps me from doing as much fucking around on the Internet as I’d like.
I’m sure someone else has already mentioned it, but my one and only suggestion at this point is “Dodgeball.” That big banner (Go Balls Deep) cracks my shit up every time. Also, “The Ocho…”
Even Ben Stiller is funny in this movie, that’s how funny it is.
Heh… funny…
No Slash, Ben Stiller isn’t funny in anything he does. He is positively repellant.
Seven is still on the board? Mine. Love me some Gwenyth head in a box.
And since the picks are dwindling (and I spaced my picks so far apart) I will make my final selection …
3rd Pick: The Way of the Gun
I could go through life watching the first 5 minutes of that movie on a continuous loop. Who hasn’t wanted to repeatedly punch Sarah Silverman in the face???
Waiting
Suicide Kings
The Way of the Gun
Couple hours late, but what the hell…
I’ll take Back To School. “Call me when you have no class!” Whenever this movie comes on Comedy Central I must watch it in its entirety.
And I reserve future rights to the Arrested Development movie that’s been rumored for the last couple years.
Can’t believe no one picked this:
PAPILLON
American Psycho.
“Night of the Hunter.” Robert Mitchum=BADASS
I came late so I’m breaking the rules.
Straw Dogs
Happy Gilmore.
“The price is wrong bitch!”
The Professional
What the hell?? No one picked this either?
The Deer Hunter
i can’t believe no one’s picked grizzly man!
i knew (SPOILER ALERT) he was going to be eaten by one of those bears, but he deserved it. and man, i enjoyed that scene almost as much as the bear.
i just wish we could hear that tape.
Meet the Feebles
/toke
Holy Shit, almost 400 picks and no STAR WARS?
Star Wars. The original.
WINNNNNNNN.
People are sleeping, still got some good ones left. Classic Arnold, ” Commando ”
Let off some steam Bennett!!!
for my second pick: Good Luck Chuck. great story and great acting
The Graduate
Didn’t feel like reading all the posts… did anyone pick Saving Silverman yet?
Oh, hey, looks like I can still get The Rules of Attraction, so I’ll take that with pick number two.
@porky1: Steal of the draft. Hands down. I tip my cap to you, sir.
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Full of great scenes and a good story. Yeah, this is comment 385, what of it?
This might be an underrated/unexpected pick because it only came out last year, but…
Black Dynamite. One of the funniest and most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen.
What, no one’s picked TWILIGHT: NEW MOON either? Just kidding, fuck that movie. Fiancee made me sit on the couch with her last night and thank god for laptops. MY DINNER WITH ANDRE was more suspenseful and action-packed.
City of God
You all should be pissed you didn’t take it.
Lost In Translation. Can’t believe it didn’t make the list. It’s the perfect hangover movie (only 2 loud scenes) AND it starts with Scarlett Johanssen’s (body double’s) ass.
Also: is it “desert island” or “deserted island?” I had a debate with my girlfriend over this.
I picked up Duck Soup in the third round, Otto. Why don’t you take Horse Feathers?
Done and done. I was torn between the two anyway.
Grandmas Boy
Although, I can’t NOT smoke when I watch it
i’ll take Freddie Got Fingered.
surprised it’s still available. you guys must not be in to the classics.
With my third pick I’ll take Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. Which leaves me with:
1. Ninja Scroll
2. The Rules of Attraction
3. Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
It’s not my dream draft (Boogie Nights, Heat, The Truman Show) but it’ll do.
@Fickledawn : I think the Godfather film still beat it, but picking Once Upon a Time in America marks you as a person of intelligence and dynamite sexual potency.
I’m not gay or anything but I’m taking RENT. I’m late to the draft and it’s the only movie not taken that I could watch multiple times
Beavis and Butthead Do America
A perfectly good opportunity to quote Miller’s Crossing for three hours, and you guys fuck it up by actually drafting.
Pootie Tang
All the cool classics are taken but since I’m so late for the draft I’ll settle for Guns of Navarone.
I really loved that when I was a kid and they be killing some NAAZZIIZ!
Wet Hot American Summer.
“Douchebags are hygenic products, I accept that as a complement, Thank you!”
“Dawn of the Dead” (original) for the win.
The Krays
Robocop
Malcolm X
I know I am jumping the ten post wait but, PICK DELETED BECAUSE I’M A RETARD!!!
California Split the best degenerate gambling movie of all time
@dick_gozinia The best value of the draft (to me) is City of God
A Bronx Tale- good value at 400something
Super late to draft
Rd 1: Rat Race (Greatest ensemble comedy ever)
Rd 2: P.C.U. (Underrated comedy, Piven at his finest)
APOCALYPSE NOW
Maj specifically took “Redux” which is not only a different movie but is also an abortion. There is no replacement for the original cut of Apocalypse Now no matter how much free time Francis Coppola now has to fuck with his masterpieces.
I saw Apocalypse Now when it was first released, at the Uptown Theater in DC and again on a rerelease at the Cinerama Dome in Hollywood. Massive screens, perfect prints, eight-track surround sound Dolby, ghost helicopters behind you… You ain’t seen a movie until you’ve see Apocalypse Now properly. And no fucking Redux!
48 Hours
well surprised this is still available, especially know the recurring themes of this website…but for my next pick, I’ll take American Pie
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I’ve already seen it 200+ times and it’s still awesome.
Borat
Very nice.
THE INCREDIBLES
Another late value pick.
Anyone that doesn’t like Tombstone for the simple fact of the palpable awesomeness of Val Kilmer playing Doc Holliday should be shot. “I’m ya huckleberry”
Since I’m crazy late to the draft, I’m surprised to see The Crow still up. One of my favorite lines from any movie “Caw Caw, Bang, Fuck I’m Dead”. I could watch that alone on loop and still not get tired of it.
wild at heart
“I”M MAKING MY LUNCH!”
Black Sheep…… for my money, almost as good as Tommy Boy.
Friday Night Lights
/be perfect
Starting late: Stalag 17
Blue Velvet, need some laughing gas.
Casino Royale II is another huge steal this late.
and for the camp and violence, my next pick is The Warriors(clinking three plastic bottles together is not as fun as using glass ones)
The original Longest Yard
Is Real Genius still on the board? If so, it’s mine.
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. This is just too easy.
The Hustler. Sorry I didn’t get to pick Cool Hand Luke and The Sting, but I’ll take the third Newman classic.
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back
gandhi
Lucky # Slevin…… The Usual Suspects, but cooler
Fargo, Superbad, or American Psycho…Christ. All hilarious in such different ways. Must…choose…one.
AMERICAN PSYCHO
Shit, so all 3 of mine were taken…bastards. My new pick is…
EYES WIDE SHUT (…what?)
NH Dan: We smoked the bikini before walking in to see it. My brother-in-law-to-be and I walked out of Dawn of the Dead laughing over the blood pressure biker. My wife-to-be commented “I liked the furniture” which sent us to the curb laughing, unable to stand up. Mall furniture, Jersey girl, what have I done!
You guys are doing it wrong. You’re on a deserted island, and even with the free porn, you need some reliable spank bank material.
My late pick #1: HOT DOG THE MOVIE. Shannon Muthafuckin’ Tweed in her prime! Plus a great scene at the end. Plus it will remind me of snow, which I will never see again. Fuck this island.
and as an endless loop, so that I might finally figure out the whole movie…Pink Floyd’s The Wall
boogie nights and fargo! come on!!!
I’m late to the party but I’ll take Accepted for my pick. Two words…Blake Lively
Though it’s not even close to a favorite. I’d pick “Castaway” just for the irony of watching it stranded on a deserted island.
Of course, I’d end up so depressed at the end I’d stop trying.
But how did no one choose “Forest Gump?” Or “Platoon”?
With over 400 comments so far, I was afraid nothing would be left. Luckily for me, at least 100 of them were just re-picks. Other people’s poor CTRL+F skills is a blessing for this West Coast asshole.
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
/99.9% positive it’s still available, but will look REALLY retarded if not
great draft guys, I have not looked through all the picks yet but was happy to see my choice as the #1 overall pick.! SuperTroopers , Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back would be my fall backs.
If all of those would be unavailable for me, then I would choose ” The Stoned Age”
Death Race 2000.
@BostonWahoo: Holy fuck, what’s wrong with you?
It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Brilliant ensemble cast and amusing enough for its time.
The Road Warrior – still on the board? Yoink!
And this is why I hate work for blocking KSK. So many of the movies I would have picked are already taken.
Fortunately, this one wasn’t (I hope):
Hardboiled. John Woo shooting film (and bullets) in Hong Kong.
“You’re so full of shit, the toilet’s over there!” *Wish I could speak Cantonese.*
Fuck, Cool Hand Luke is gone, Toy Story is gone, and so is Saving Private Ryan. Fuckers.
However, this pick is like getting Andre Johnson in the 6th round:
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, motherfuckers.
Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels
Citizen Kane.
“I AM CHARLES FOSTER KANE! I WILL NOT BE THREATENED!”
Letters from Iwo Jima.
Figure if I’m stuck on an island hopelessly, at least I can reassure myself that the Marine Corps isn’t about to roll up the beach.
/ got here late
The Replacements.
Three Musketeers & Four Musketeers – 70′s version with Oliver Reed, Richard Chamberlain, Micheal York, and a still in her prime, Raquel Welch…
wow, nothing from the Dirty Harry, Die Hard, Mad Max or Lethal Weapon series… Y’all read way too many Peter King and Bill Simon columns… grab some vagicil
oh Dirty Harry is gone…it was my Round 4 pick and after some comedy for the previous pick, am going back to violence with the original Rollerball
Jonathon, Jonathon, Jonathon…
“Diner”
nice pick Rod… was thinking talking about James Caan version a couple of days ago… you should back it up with Logan’s Run…
I’ll take my favorite Paul Newman movie if it’s still here The Hustler.
I’ll take my favorite Paul Newman movie if it’s still here The Hustler.
I’m way late to this party….
BIG
The Great Outdoors
Almost Famous
The Bucket List.
Assuming my CTRF+F skills haven’t failed me:
Pan’s Labyrinth.
CB4
The Natural. Greatest sports movie ever? Greatest sports movie ever.
Krull. The Glave will fuck your shit up, son!
The Last Dragon. “Kiss my Converse.”
and a sub just in case I missed one of these being taken: Shaun of the Dead.
Red River.
way late to the party. reading this while watching the Sandlot with my 5-year-old. Don’t worry, Ape, I am making sure that Wendy Peffercorn’s hotness is not lost on the next generation.
We’ll take Jurassic Park, for Jeff Goldblum’s explanation of chaos theory. and the kickass dinosaurs.
next pick: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!
and I’ll finish it up with TMNT 2: the Secret of the Ooze. Best musical cameo in film history. the Iceman. Go Ninja Go Ninja Go
Dances With Wolves. Hot Rod. Platoon. I’m taking three for getting here so late. Also, they go in reverse order.
Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo
Klute
Big Trouble in Little China.
I met Kurt Russell once. He told me to watch this movie. I’m glad he did.
Yojimbo. The man was ice cold.
this was awhile ago, but i think The Last Starfighter might have been the steal of the draft.
Notorious (1946). Great performance by Cary Grant, and one of Hitchcock’s bests. Oh, and for movies that I think will be really good, I’ll take Toy Story 3. Could be the best second sequel ever.
@ Mo Charlo – great pick. “ya know what Jack Burton says at a time like this..”
Let The Right One In…..though I wish they could have found a place for a rampaging Faceless Hakan in the movie
Days late – I’ll take The Waterboy. Sadly, I own it and will still watch chunks of it when it’s on TBS. Great role – Farmer Fran, guy didn’t have to learn a line of dialogue.
Fist of Legend
Best kung-fu flick ever. Jet Li beats the shit out of every Japanese person within a 100 mile radius.
[www.youtube.com]
San Diego is a WHALE’S vagina. Goddamit.
Original Gremlins. Because, well, Jesus, it’s 50 million times better than the sequel.
Very Bad Things. After True Romance got taken this was a close second
300?
Army of Darkness?
The Great Santini?
The 13th Warrior?
Cloverfield?
Underworld?
Stripes?
Gattaca?
Shaun of the Dead?
Apocolypto?
Enemy at the Gates?
c’mon people
Apocalypse Now.
the edge/conan the barbarian/surviving the game
triple pick, eat our shit and suck our dicks you ho ass bitches!
fuck you scooby for (sort of) taking 13th warrior right before me
Roadhouse,FTW
/Swayze is God
Truman Show / American History X / Annie Hall are all taken? Fuck you guys.
Way late.
I’ll take Being There, Peter Sellers’ last film.
Also, Ghost World, if for nothing else than “Blueshammer”.
Pick #2: The Girl Next Door
Didn’t have a chance to look at this on Friday. I’ll take the original Porky’s, as it appears to still be available.
Double pick for the weekend: For Intrigue-Coen’s Brothers first picture…Blood Simple and for laughs: WC Fields in The Bank Dick(when you could say Dick and not bring down the wrath of FCC and various other watchdog groups)
Cinderella Man.
Or the new Robin Hood, even though it isnt out yet, it is going to kick ass.
Training Day … because King Kong ain’t got shit on me.
/can’t believe this one wasn’t taken yet
And since I’m late in the game, I’ll grab two more
Trading Places … beef jerky time
The Karate Kid … first learn stand, then learn fly. Nature rule, Daniel-san, not mine.
/swears he didn’t see any of these picked
//does a D-X crotch chop at any bastard who did since I had to rummage through a pile of crap
///titty-fucks Ali-with-an-I
I would take Caddyshack and Goodfellas (with a nod to Godather) but since those have been taken I can’t believe no one has Turk-182 or Porky’s. Talk about late round values.
I pick The Big Lebowski.
midnight madness
vintage michael j fox before the shamrocks!
In Bruges
GUNG HO cuz Im in it!!!
the game starring michael douglas and sean penn – late round value pick
i’m not waiting 10 picks. “rad” the 80s bmx movie
Way fucking late on this, but since everything else in the history of the world (read: Scorsese) is taken, I’ll go with Taxi Driver.
If you don’t think I will watch a serviceably young De Niro slowly go insane over the course of two hours 30 times in a year, THINK AGAIN.
/not even slothrop could diagram that sentence in less than 10 seconds
//didn’t think Sandlot was a bad pick at all…
Any takers for “Jeremiah Johnson”?
No? Good.
Also, who wants to watch Donnie Darko while alone on a desert island? Wierd.
#3 – Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
The Toxic Avenger
Pick #2
The Anniversary Party
Drugs, emo hollywood types, a runaway dog, and abortion!
…and titties
Mainstream: Mean Streets
Independent: Sugar
Porno: Catch her in the Eye
the room
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