In what will ultimately go down as the best thing to ever happen at the combine, somebody finally told Tim Tebow to stuff his Jebus in a sack.
At the Scouting Combine, the Wonderlic exam is administered to players in groups. The 12-minute test is preceded by some brief instructions and comments from the person administering the test.
Per a league source, after the person administering the test to Tebow’s group had finished, Tebow made a request that the players bow their heads in prayer before taking the 50-question exam.
Said one of the other players in response: “Shut the f–k up.” Others players in the room then laughed.
I’ve never wanted an anonymously sourced Florio report to be more true. If it is so, this unknown Combine invitee just shot up to the top of the first round on my own personal draft board, right above an offensive tackle and “anybody but Jimmy Clausen.”
Might I suggest that we all bow our heads and silently pray that none of our teams draft Jimmy Clausen?
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thats beautiful.
also: The Texas Board of Education tag is my favorite tag of anything ever. You win the internet.
@spark29
There is no possible way that a Muslim football player could ever reach the maxim of religious obnoxiousness that Tebow has. Not in America. …though, the Saudi Arabian doppleganger of Tebow is an interesting thought..
“if he was a Muslim you folks would want to shoot the guy telling him to STFU.”
holy fuck
Yeah, very funny, but if he was a Muslim you folks would want to shoot the guy telling him to STFU.
12 minutes for 50 questions?
i’m calling shens
Tebow believes Jesus Christ CAN hit a curveball.
@ G-Reg
I couldn’t figure out what you meant until I googled ‘Michael Jackson’ and ‘Jesus juice’. I just meant Jesus juice as the 5 hour energy blast of the Lord’s strength Tebow gets from a good group prayer session…not this shit http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0113051jackson1.html
http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/03/24/tebow-denies-wonderlic-incident/?related=1
Sounds like he may have just asked a Mormon to pray with him. Y’know, those Mormon types like prayers.
It was a good Two Minutes Hate, though. A lofty Two Minutes Hate. It defined clutch.
TIMMY STANDS ON A BENCH trying to get the players’ attention.
TIMMY
Listen up, guys, could I have your
attention a minute?
(a few heads turn)
I’m going to be leading a daily chapel
service at three in the afternoons
here in the locker room and you’re
all invited to drop by and worship
before practice.
BOBBY
Timmy, God damn it — loosen up and
get laid.
BOBBY, 25, smooths the creases of his uniform, preening.
TIMMY
I don’t care If you think I’m square
but I believe what I believe.
/Bull Durham’d
@ Animal Mother
And then he fined himself $50,000. Hey, at least he’s consistent.
If it was another QB it had to be Armani Edwards! Had to be!
Don’t they take the tests in position groups? So can we assume another QB made the comment? If so, could if have been Clausen? His initials are J.C. afterall, so he could have a bone to pick with the other JC.
Candy, it would work. The Jets are looking for a back-up TE, aren’t they?
ALurker – touche – my page hadn’t loaded the his third comment. Austin 3:16 – JohnneyUtah’s a commenting tard.
I still hope Timmy goes to San Fran if only for his inevitable clash with their fans. Only Oakland would be a more hilarious place for him to end up.
I think the biggest problem is that he asked everyone to do it. WTF man, just pray by yourself. Besides if everyone prayed that will dim his piety. He could have been a bright star in a sea of darkness.
I hate playing revisionist historian but let’s all just imagine the Jets passing on Sanchez and taking Tebow this year. The Rex Ryan / Tebow KSK kharacter sketches would be beyond comprehension. “After the game we’re going out for steaks and whores. Pussytubin’ Hey Tebow you ever get a piece of that Mary Magdalene? I know you did! You’re attacked that like a first century Roman! Ohhhh! Yeah! Now for nicknames…”
@James Harrison
South Park
Revis Island: South Park reference or DZK reference?
No, what will really blow your mind is that it was Roger Goodell who told T-blow to shut the fuck up!!
@FavreFAIL- that was a triple post; there was nearly an hour between posts 1. and 2.
And Austin 3:16 reads: I just kicked your ass.
And pretend I knew how to spell Crews correctly.
@Fred Dryer and @Nate Newton
He was Hunter!?!? That’s like finding out Jesus knew Karate! Imagine that, Stan, Karate Jesus…
@JohnneyUtah But those players aren’t required to pray after a game – no one is forcing them. Trying to hold a prayer right before a mandatory test is douchey as hell.
And wait a minute before double-posting…I hope Tebow goes to San Fran just to spite your ass
Tim Tebow wants to get down on his knees and please you Jesus
Good news about the Lions in this year’s draft: We’re not taking Jimmy Clausen. BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!
and shanoff wept
Probably was Claussen.
Veteran undrafted free agent player: Hey Tebow, come ‘ere, Got somethin ta tell ya.
Tebow: Sure! What’s going on guy?
Veteran undrafted free agent player: Come closer, want to make sure you hear me.
Tebow: OK, how’s this?
Veteran undrafted free agent player: Great. OK, you know what I’d like for you to do?
Tebow: No, please tell me.
Veteran undrafted free agent player: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Tebow: …
See it works on so many levels.
It’s not like half the NFL grabs hands and prays at mid-field after every game or anything….People just want to hate on Tebow because he is the next great white hope…
/Don’t you draft him Jed York….for the love of Jebus
It’s not like half the NFL grabs hands and prays at mid-field after every game or anything….People just want to hate on Tebow because he is the next great white hope…
/Don’t you draft him Jed York….for the love of Jebus
The only thing that would make this story greater is if the unnamed player who pwned Tebow was related to Tracy Porter
http://www.flickr.com/photos/47393731@N04/4346010394/
@ravenouspenguins. . . .wow, just wow. Major bummer.
Honestly, every year I become more and more of an Eli fan, and not because he gets any better. But because every year it becomes more and more clear to me that. . . .hey, it could be a LOT worse.
These are the best comments on any blog yet. My apologies for not adding anything relevant or funny except that I do believe Tebow probably has a bigger closet than Ted Haggard. It’ll be funny when that shit hits the fan.
1. Thank you to whoever that was for shutting Tebow up.
2. Admit it, Maj. You are going to get Clausen’d AKA Cutlerfucker 2.0. It’s going to happen. Just let it happen.
You know, I’m going to need a lot more than Jesus to comfort me when the Browns draft Tebow, and I have to listen to that assclown preach from the bench while we enjoy the Jake Delhomme Era for the next year or two. I think it’s time to step up my drinking a notch or two.
@Nimby
How dare you trash Michael Jackson. THE MAN DIED! ALL CELEBRITIES’ FLAWS DISAPPEAR AFTER THEY DIE. Don’t you know this? Gosh
@Berbalerbs
Impossible, only because Clausen is incapable of noticing anybody but himself.
I eagerly await the Tebow Kharacter’s professional debut on KSK on the Friday after the draft.
May he be on the receiving end of many illegal piledriving tackles.
Yes because half the league prays at midfield after the game….People just don’t like Tebow because he is the next great white hope.
/please don’t draft him Jed York….for the love of Jebus.
I don’t mean to melt anyone’s brains here but… what if it was Clausen who said it?
Pffffft on Tim Tebow’s convictions.
Jon Kitna would have cut a bitch if they pulled that mess on him.
/there are no atheists in foxholes or math exams
Of course, this incident (if true) went into his Journal of Persecution that all Jesusy Christians are required to keep, documenting each and every time their attempt to shoehorn religion into something is rejected.
What doesn’t kill him makes him stronger in the Lord and all that, y’all…
I’m guessing it was the Abilene Christian sister-fucker, trying to rehab his reputation.
Didn’t work or anything, but nice effort.
I give him 3 months in the NFL till the hoes start coming forward with freak-a-deek alligations….
/Tiger’ed
LaFarve’s been reading Bleacher Report again.
Pittsburgh should draft Jesusback. He will balance out the Devilback they already have.
i dont mind tebow. there, i said it. although as a redskins fan i have been jerked around so much i dont know which way is which.
Might I suggest that we all bow our heads and silently pray that none of our teams draft Jimmy Clausen?
Seeing him sitting between Shanahan and Snyder as the introductory press conference is going to be a DELIGHT.
@ Fred Dryer: Great reference on the name. He’s a little older, a little balder, but he’s still the only player in NFL history to record two safeties in a single game.
So, when Tebow invariably gets cut from the team that drafts him 2 years from now…
does the coach replace the typical “pink slip in the locker” with a twisted up coat hanger and a doctor’s note?
Well that explains his poor performance anyway…no Jesus Juice.
Maybe, RRP, but I’m not sure we can erect hotels on top of Clausen’s gel-spiked hair.
And yeah, that tag is all kinds of win.
Tebow and Clausen need to both go to the Pats….it’s the only way to get rid of beli-cheat once and for all. That much suck in one place might even capsize the Red Sox bandwagon…
Otto, we need clausen to complete teh holy triumvirate of douche qbs. its like monopoly. you may not want baltic, but goddammit, it sucks and you gotta have it to complete the set.
Best Tag Ever:
Tebow will demand that his new team’s playbook is approved by the Texas Board of Education.
@Fred Dryer: What time’s the bible burnin’?
@ Litton: If English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for Texas.
Step forward and claim your blowjob and a steak, anonymous hero.
He does offer position flexibility in fantasy… How many other Jesusbacks are in this draft right?
Less praying and more actual smarts there, Timmy.
I have never had a more irrational hatred for an irrelevant player in my life. Thank you national media and a special shout out to PK for making me hope this jackhole dies in a Bible fire.
@Otto, your prayers are heard, My son, for it is written that yea, the douchebaggery of a franchise shall not encompass the fuckstickery of both Haley and Clausen. I am Merciful.
Preferred someone would have made the “I wish you were aborted” retort but I’ll settle for an old fashioned playground diss.
Might I suggest that we all bow our heads and silently pray that none of our teams draft Jimmy Clausen?
I hit my knees to say that prayer every night. Goddamn it, Charlie Weis, don’t bring that shithead to K.C.
Aside from the Fins’ 2008 season and, of course, 18-1, St Douchebag’s 24/7 fail-a-thon has been the greatest football story of the last 10 years for me.
I hope the player who said this outs himself so that we can properly congratulate him.
I imagine this will be St. Peter’s response when Tebow inevitably reaches the Pearly Gates.
If loving the Lord is wrong, Tebow doesn’t want to be right.
My team has the Conquistador. No need to pray we don’t draft Clausen.
On that note, I would like to meet this anonymous combine participant and shake his hand.
/Tebow destined to be a Saint?
//shows self out.
The Texas Board of Education tag is priceless.
Might I suggest that we all bow our heads and silently pray that none of our teams draft Jimmy Clausen?
Just accept it, Maj. I have.
I wonder if that ever happens to Ray Lewis when he calls for a team prayer. I’m going to go ahead and guess no, on account of the potential for stabbyness.