cointoss

So after yesterday’s vote amongst the League’s owners have left us with “modified sudden death,” whatever the hell that is. So if a game is still tied after regulation, the team that wins the coin toss to start overtime doesn’t automatically win the game if they score…unless they score a touchdown. Oh, and this is only in effect for the playoffs. Confused yet? You should have seen some of the other tie-breaking formats that the league was considering. It was enough to make one’s head spin.

Jar of marbles format

“Jars Of Marbles” Overtime.

The Gist: Roger Goodell would approach the 50-yard line with a jar of marbles in each hand. Each team would be required to guess the amount of marbles in its jar. Home team is awarded first choice of jar. “The Price Is Right” rules are in effect.

Why It Was Shot Down: Couldn’t reach licensing deal with jar company.

Monopoly format

Monopoly Format.

The Gist: Each team selects one player for a 60-minute “short rules” game of Monopoly. The player with the most assets accumulated at the end of time is declared winner. Home team gets first roll. No free parking lottery, and anyone that lands directly on GO loses the game immediately, unless they’re using the cannon token, which is badass.

Why It Was Shot Down: McNabb kept trying to build on Boardwark without owning Park Place. Read the rules, Donovan! Oh, that and Michael Vick soldered the dog token to the iron token, so that kinda ruined it for everyone.

duck duck goose format

Duck Duck Goose Format.

The Gist: Nobody was really sure.

Why It Was Shot Down: Because Duck Duck Goose is gay.

adam_vinatieri bake off format

Bake-Off.

The Gist: One player from each team has 30 minutes to create a high-quality dessert, serving six. Cakes, pies and puddings are permitted. Each team is limited to six eggs and one pound of flour, except in the playoffs, whereas each team gets nine eggs and 24 ounces of flour. Yeast is forbidden. The 30 minutes does not begin until ovens for both teams have sufficiently preheated.

Why It Was Shot Down: No good reason at all. So many possibilities could have sprung out of this format, not to mention the League’s potential legion of new heroes. Will Adam Vinatieri be known and the most clutch preparer of creme mousseline in NFL history? I guess we’ll never know.